I’m Not Telling You Again

I parked too close to someone’s driveway; they tripped out, poured milk on my car, and left this note.

I Remember My First Beer

Found this taped to a tree on my walk home from classes. Mifflin St. Block Party was this weekend … perhaps the “degenerate” was influenced to throw a beer bottle at a car after participating in Mifflin. Sucks for the owner of the car, but they were quite creative in their insults, so I have … Continued

You and Your Man

I found this in a yard across from some apartments. I’m guessing it felt as good to the receiver to crumple and throw it as it did for the writer to pound out that last period.

Overnight

What’s the 204? An apartment number, like I know who this is and where you live? Scarrrrrrry.

Penn Sucks

I moved into a new apartment in Baltimore and started drinking early with some friends to celebrate. Needless to say, I forgot I parked my car in a small alleyway to move my things in through the backdoor. I woke up the next morning with this note on my car, which has a Pennsylvania license … Continued

Generic Asshole

I found this in my driveway one morning. At first I was really alarmed, and paranoid because I thought it was really aimed at me, but when I calmed down I realized it didn’t make sense: I am not a Generic Asshole and I have my own parking space. I liked it because I have … Continued

A Christmas Greeting

Found this on a shelf in the business section at a bookstore a couple weeks before Christmas. It’s written on the back of a bank deposit receipt. The account balance was $1,663.47.

What I Think of Your Cheek

I was crossing the railroad tracks to get to the bike path along the levee when I found this note between the tracks. I didn’t see any parking spaces nearby. Must have blown a ways.

Hey Fuck Face

I found this note in the parking lot of the Redwood Gospel Mission Thrift Store. There weren’t any obvious entrances or exits for a car to block, so the event probably happened elsewhere. And the thrift store people are all very nice.