September 1984

Found it when I went to use the self-serve station at a Staples. On the back was just “September 1984.” No idea who it belongs to or where it came from, but I’m guessing the person before me has been looking for it for a while.

“Operating” Notes

Found by a schoolyard… obviously the kids were “performing” various operations on their school mates. The Butt Operation was more successful than the Face Operation. Cootie spray option and not covered under the HMO.

Butt Cheeks = 5 Demerits

I found this in the parking lot of a strip mall. Apparently this male student has made a habit of saying “butt cheeks.” His repeat offense earned him 5 demerits. Do not taunt this teacher with anatomical references!

Dear David

I found this inside a book that I bought in an antique shop (‘The Practical Way to Keep Fit’, Robert, 1939, also hilarious). I wonder what, if anything, David did to incite the threatened bum-bashing?