Chipmunk Cheeks and Gargling Nails

I am a music teacher. I was working backstage at an all-state music concert for high school students. Someone turned this over to me and I wasn’t able to find the owner. As I started reading the first sentence I imagined a sick grandmother writing to their grandson, then it became obvious this was a peer to peer communication. I love the descriptive analogies, and wonder what exactly was stolen for the requested present.