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June 14, 2007 |
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Can Opener
FOUND by Ann K.
in St Louis, Missouri
I lived at an apartment building with a less-than-ideal parking situation when I found this, so these kinds of notes were common. But, I especially liked the imagery in this one.
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
i LOVE this.
it kinda looks like the writer signed it, and his name is asshole...
dear parker,
please leave me more room naxt time.
love,
asshole
Wait.. haven't we already seen this one?
@ Mary: That's exactly what I was thinking.
It's still hostile road rage-y fun, though. :)
Replace the word room with food and nobody's getting dinner at my house; such are my cooking efforts lately.
weird.
it really does look familiar...
it still put a smile on my face though =)
CAN OPENER!!!!!!!!! hahahhahahahahaha
what about a jack-knife? hahahahaha
LOL! I love this one & I needed the laugh oh-so-badly. The imagery is fantastic!
I'm going to remember that one.
i agree with manda. it really looks like the writer signed his name "asshole". but funny nonetheless. it was a good 1am giggle.
I would have gone with "shoe horn".
I always love it when you get that note from the guy who had left so little space by parking his Ford Ejaculation superSUV in the "compact" space in the first place...
That would also be a good one for the passiveaggressivenotes.com site. Love it!
This is the one we had before:
http://www.foundmagazine.com/find/1025
Salt in the Sea. You must be a relative newbie, in the computer conversation world. Typing all in caps like that, denotes shouting. I don't think you mean to yell at all of us, do you?
(how's that for passive aggressive.)
What a ballsy kind of note to leave, it made me laugh out loud. Terrific find.
monalisa- she who commits such bold comma abuse best leave the patronizing corrections to others.
You're right, anonymous. I do tend to over use commas. Thanks for pointing that out. However, i was not trying to be patronizing, but informative. (now i'm all self conscious about my comma usage.)
Thanks Jonathan. I just knew this was a rerun!
seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen it before on here.
whats going on....?
Deja vu all over again. But still one of my favorite finds.
This is the sort of note that shouldn't be removed from general circulation. The person who found it should just keep and use it (after which it would be thrown on the ground by the bad parker), then the next finder should be beholden to use it, and so on...
Really. This is a note that speaks to one of the universal themes.
Aww, and I thought it was so original! Actually, until I read the comments from the finder, I was trying to figure out how someone who had his can opener taken by an angry roommate could use one to make more space...
"Ford Ejaculation superSUV" ...i love it. i prefer "Chevy Compensator" myself, but that's a great one!
this was written by my ex-husband. he thought it was very clever and he had a lot of rage as well.
also, his name is asshole.
well, Found HQ? what do you have to say for yourselves? i realize that its not the same,(as the link below) but surely you could have displayed something that showed the diversity of the finds you've had sent to you...
http://www.foundmagazine.com/find/1025
Uhh... am I the only one who has never heard this reference before? A can opener to get my car out of a tight parking spot? It doesn't make sense. I can't even picture what in the hell that means...
A crowbar, I get. A can opener?.... nope.
My favorite comes from my father who would leave a note stating, "You park like old people fuck".
I got this same exact note once on my car when I parked in a hurry on my way to work.
Ang, I read this one as if the writer wants to use a can opener to cut away enough of the offending vehicle in order to get past it.
The way I originally heard this was "Leave me a can opener so I can get in my car." I thought that made more sense than using the can opener to make room.
at least he can admit that he's an asshole
Some of you said that it seems like the author of the note signed it "asshole."
But really, they clearly didn't.
I doubt anyone would call themselves an asshole, but I digress.
It really seems like an afterthought, perhaps they just decided to throw in another cuss word/insult to draw out their point?
kathy - >>of course<< they didn't really sign it asshole. i was noting the spacing and the asshole as an afterthought made it seem as though it could be. i thought that was funny, but really, almost anything seems funny at 1am after a long days work. i even giggled that i typed naxt instead of next. tee-hee!
I just came over all deja vu-ey... Lets get a little more originality here people!
My mom used to have a stack of notes just like this in her glove box, she saved them for just this situation. Hers were diffrent though because they had mickey mouse flipping you off on them and read "next time, leave a can opener, asswhole!"
You unappreciative sons of bitches.
If i worked at Found i'd post nothing but angry parking notes for the next week. Even if i had to write them myself, bitches.
What i don't understand is what a can opener would do?
Last time i checked can openers opened cans!
"Thank you for parking so close to my car. It made it much easier to scratch the length of your truck with a screwdriver while I was backing out."
Not that you'd really do it, of course.
Turbo, that was brilliant. It was a real ROFLMAO moment (also, the first time I have used that saying, yippie!). Seriously, brilliant.
Also, I have to say I am so proud of all the foundsters that recognized the repeat, though clearly a different find, the fact that you all remembered it is amazing! It was originally posted 6 months ago and I can't remember what I watched on TV last night (though that may say more about TV these days then my memory...)
Good find, kids. Good find.
So from these notes it seems that Asshole is the new (passive) "buddy" I long for the days that people actually spoke to each other and said, "Hey Buddy, you parked pretty fuckin' close doncha think,(guy)?"
EVERYTHING I HAVE TO SAY IS OF IMMEDIATE IMPORTANCE AND MUST BE TYPED IN CAPITAL LETTERS
I wonder if there's an Asperger's convention in town? I love all the literal interpretations that people have posted today, whether they were serious or just messing with us.
While I agree that this find may be a needlessly repetitive and redundant tautology or pleonasm that has been used over and over again when it could have been used once without unnecessary reiteration, I enjoy the plasticity of our language and the evolution of idiomatic usage. "Leave me a can opener" has become so common in this circumstance that it has lost its meaning altogether. That's what makes today's find so absurdly wonderful.
Special thanks to Turbo and Manda, who delivered the goods as usual.
to hell with the note, bust out your keys and key the assholes car. Use the car as your paper & write the message down. Come oooon....go ahead.......I will be aaaalright!
I just love seeing almost identical finds... because I am sure that no one else has been sending in ones that are a bit more original...
It's heartening that people remembered my similar find!
YOU SILLIES! First, the author should've added the ever-popular ellipse to "asshole". Second, the author clearly is referring to the old-fashioned, one-hand-operated can opener that often had a corkscrew folded into the handle. The pointy end punctured the top of a can, then an up-down-push motion was used to work the opener around the can. It made for an especially jagged edge and undoubtedly thousands of bloodied hands.
Wow, I loved this find, but all of the overanalysis and whining about similar finds having already been posted almost ruined it for me. Personally, I think this note is more entertaining, style-wise, than the previous post. Despite the *yawns* for comments, though, it still makes me chuckle. Way to have the guts to leave a note like I have so often wanted to do.
Maybe the author saw the original find on Found and thought it clever enough to leave on someone's car. And maybe...just maybe...that person did so in hopes that their note would be found and s/he'd find it on Found as well. And looky looky, there it is.
Just a thought.
hahah i love this. thanks for posting such an awesome find on my birthday.
salt in the sea, i think i know who you are. LMAO
Happy birthday, Katie!
(I know I'm a day late, but we kind of share a name.)
hahaha i love this one
Thanks Starks. I agree!
Hey there Sea Salt...
The passive part of this obviously passive-aggressive note is: the note. The writer did not approach the other driver but instead used the note as a means of communication.
Obvious yet again, is the aggressive part: the wording.
Ciao
Jan is my mom's name, and I'd like to think she posted this. not that I mind living on cereal, its just funny.
I guess it's a bit late to be commenting on this, but I haven't looked at the site in a while. I sent in this find probably over 2 years ago, so I hadn't seen the similar post before. I'd never seen a note that said that before either, so I'm pretty surprised to see another one on here. I still think it's funny but, as a side note, I've sent in finds that I thought were much better than this one. Since finds can apparently sit around for a couple years, though, maybe you'll see them yet...
I got an extremely similar note left on my car in Wellington, NZ about 4 years ago. It used the "leave a tin opener" bit and called me an arsehole. Awesome coincidence!