July 10, 2009

Unhappy New Year!
FOUND by Glen in Germantown, TN
The author of this New Year's Day reflection looks to be a very lonely and dramatic 18-year old. I've got a feeling he'd make a really good boyfriend if she'd ever give him a chance. New Year's get better once you're old enough to drink.
K lee in Houston
I never knew 18-year-old boys were so deep.
+ July 10, 2009 12:15 AM +
ceesick in a land boat
i know (from sad, embarrassing experience) that this dude wrote this in the hopes that someone would find it and say "wow, this guy is deep". so, mission accomplished. i hope his emo band is doing well.
+ July 10, 2009 12:31 AM +
Kaybug in In the middle of nowhere
I can definitely relate to this guy
+ July 10, 2009 12:37 AM +
Phoebe Muse
I know people with handwriting like this and it drives me up the effin wall I can't read it they feel like they have to cramp all the letters in together give your poetic musings room to breath!!
+ July 10, 2009 01:40 AM +
sick in tired
Phoebe, this is a classic sample of dislexic handwriting. I grew up with 2 brothers who wrote like this, and were dislexic. They cramp the letters because it's hard to write...literally.
+ July 10, 2009 02:21 AM +
Hyla in Canada
He just wants to be loved!! :) I wonder if he got his perfect ending or not? Probably not. Poor thing.
+ July 10, 2009 02:24 AM +
hmm
I know people who write or type in run-on sentences and it drives me up the effin wall I can't read it they feel like they have to cramp all the thoughts in together without any punctuation to tell where one stops and the next begins give your hypocritical bitching room to breath even if you don't know the difference between 'breath' and 'breathe'!!
+ July 10, 2009 02:30 AM +
hmm, sincerely this time
This guy sounds far more intelligent than any of the 18 yo guys I ever encountered, and for that matter he's doing a damn sight better than most of the men in my own age group. He is also pretty clearly struggling with untreated depression, so good luck to him with that.

Sick in tired: I know a couple of people who write like this, and they are not dyslexic. Also, if he is dyslexic, he's overcome it extremely well, as I didn't spot any spelling errors or any of the reversed letters (b for d, etc) that are common with dyslexia.

It is, however, fairly common for a person with profound depression to use a smaller, more cramped writing style when their depression is severe. Notice how the letters get smaller and sometimes less clearly defined in the section after "knows what happiness and joy are"? I hope he has had a talk with a campus health advisor and seen about getting some counseling and/or medication. He seems like an intelligent, thoughtful, kind person and I hope he gets a chance to make the most of his strengths.
+ July 10, 2009 02:44 AM +
SexyNinjaMonkey in your mothers bed
WTF?? He can drink can't he??? Oh shit wait America has the drinking age at 21 still, right. That makes more sense. But he really does need to go get pissed and quit bitching. What's the bet he cut's himself too, f*cktards.
+ July 10, 2009 02:52 AM +
MizLiz in San francisco
Seriously people - have some compassion for the guy. He is obviously struggling with severe loneliness... I know everyone knows what that feels like... if you said "no" then you are in denial - straight up denial...
18 years old and deeper thoughts and self-reflections than most of the 30 year old men I am surrounded by.

+ July 10, 2009 03:08 AM +
Bobbie in Depression
Some of you need to learn some sympathy. I feel exactly the same as this guy, and I'm in no way emo, nor would getting pissed help my feelings. Some people suffer with depression quite unobtrusively, and often the kind words of strangers can really help get you through. Sure, it's not everlasting love, but it'll do. People like you, ninjamonkey (and I always knew ninjas sucked), are the kinds of people whose careless cruelty cause people to give up on the world and go kill themselves. Learn a little kindness. This guy deserves smiles and support, not rudeness. I hope he found a friend. I suspect he didn't.
+ July 10, 2009 04:11 AM +
A in B
I see i am not alone in using New Years day to depress the hell out of myself and wallow in my own unimpressiveness.

But really, I'm sure it's not uncommon to find that time of year kind of depressing, he might be fine normally.
+ July 10, 2009 04:17 AM +
Blaze in KS
I have close writing like that, and I'm not a bit dyslexic.

I have lots of sympathy for this kid, but god DAMN, cram in some more clichéd groaning, would you?

I was a mess at that age, though, so I won't shake my head too hard.
+ July 10, 2009 04:41 AM +
fooch in a 4.a.m. wake up call
I feel for this guy. I hope someone recognized his anguish and told him that it would be ok....

+ July 10, 2009 06:20 AM +
Librarian in the woodwork

When this guy is 30 years old there's going to be some extremely lucky woman married to him. She'll be 30, too, so she won't look like the 18 year old girl of his current dreams (who, at age 30, will be way, way past her prime), but she'll be hotter than his adolescent hormones can even begin to imagine. Of course, he won't be a boy any longer, either. He'll be a wise, patient, sensitive, steady, physical, caring, gentle, manly man.

Funny thing is, if he'd kept this little diary entry and looked back on it when he was 30, he'd think 'Sheesh, I always thought I was so deep back in high school! This is nothing but drivel.' He'll be able to say that because at 30 he'll finally be growing into his real persona.


...unless, of course, he's actually writing here about a tuba.
+ July 10, 2009 06:43 AM +
spy in Kanata, ON, Canada
Oh brother.. boo hoo... WAit 10 more years and see how depressing it is to go to a job you hate just to pay the bills
+ July 10, 2009 07:04 AM +
mona lisa in the louvre
why does it surprise me that so few of you have any compassion. Adolescence is difficult. Loving someone who doesn't love you back is tough. Depression hits hard. I hope he found someone, found his place in life, found out who he is.
+ July 10, 2009 07:34 AM +
dom in o
ok,now I get why my teenage sons are so grouchy all the time! Will my daughter be the same? I think so, cause this sounds just like her despair over the hamster dying the other day.
+ July 10, 2009 08:08 AM +
Shycello in WY
I think there's hope. By now, this guy's finished a year of college, gotten laid and completely forgotten about his unrequited love of 2008.
+ July 10, 2009 08:11 AM +
not for noth in but
Anyone who thinks drinking is a cure for depression is an f'n moron.
+ July 10, 2009 08:31 AM +
Ryan in a colony of Slippermen
Why do some people depend on finding someone to make them happy? Sometimes that someone can make you more depressed. I use to think that way now I am just happy being able to do what ever I want to with out pissing someone off.
+ July 10, 2009 08:49 AM +
Old Mumsy in Portland, Me
I love how the note gets smaller when you magnify it. Is it that depressing?
+ July 10, 2009 08:52 AM +
Ferizzle in Canada
In retrospect, teenage angst makes me puke...
+ July 10, 2009 08:54 AM +
Hiplainsdrifter in South Portland, Maine

OOOOHHHH Bullshitt... Stop writing TO YOURSELF in your little self-absorbed little world. Go outside - get some excercise and stop masterbating so much.

OK now about this kids note...

Duane: Can I confess something? I tell you this as an artist,I think you'll understand. Sometimes when I'm driving... on the road at night... I see two headlights coming toward me. Fast. I have this sudden impulse to turn the wheel quickly, head-on into the oncoming car. I can anticipate the explosion. The sound of shattering glass. The... flames rising out of the flowing gasoline.

Alvy Singer: Right. Well, I have to - I have to go now, Duane, because I, I'm due back on the planet Earth.

+ July 10, 2009 09:16 AM +
Librarian in the woodwork

@ mona lisa ... well that's because none of us ever were adolescents. We all just skipped from childhood right to whatever stage it is we're in now. Didn't we?


@ hiplainsdrifter ... good film!
+ July 10, 2009 09:27 AM +
Jan in the library but not Librarian's library
Well, it's been a year and a half since this life assessment. I hope his freshman year at college brought him some satisfaction.

Oh, and I hope he got laid, too.
+ July 10, 2009 09:38 AM +
Terrie-Is-So-Very in totally-unique-ville
Somehow, when we're little kids, we get this big idea that when we grow up, we will be happy (probably one of those little lies adults tell children).

When you grow up, you get smacked in the face with the ugly truth, which is that almost nobody is happy. Some people just walk around sad, some are angry and insensitive, some just try to fake til the make it, and a very small few really are happy, but not very many.

You think you want to fade away now? Wait until you're 35 and you look back on your life and get smacked with another ugly truth, that you have not done shit with your life, and no matter what you do, you're going to get old, and no matter how much of an "attitude of gratitude" Oprah tells you to get, you still won't be truly happy, and you try and you try and you try, but you fail. And you realize you don't even need to die because you died a long time ago...and who gives a...nobody...nothing...meaningless...better off...

Ahem. Yes. Well. I suppose I can relate.
+ July 10, 2009 09:40 AM +
mona lisa in the louvre
@librarian, yes, i do believe you're right.

terry's ovary - the only people who are truly happy are those who don't really 'get it'. blissfully unaware. Ignorance is truly bliss.
+ July 10, 2009 10:17 AM +
Clover in a mood
As I remember, at that age, anything I felt at any given time seemed like it would last forever. Now I realize that nothing lasts forever, especially teenage moods.

On the other hand, young people today have a harder go ahead of them than people my age did. That's partly because too many of my generation gave up on the values of the 1960s (peace, love, zero-population growth, and environmentalism) and went with materialism, consumption, competition, over-population, pollution, war and greed. And then they put tremendous pressure on their own children to succeed and excel far beyond their own goals for themselves. It can be pretty darn depressing.

Gee, I'm not sounding much like the happy little herb that I usually am. What's with that?

Back to the lawn.
+ July 10, 2009 10:50 AM +
Found in a ditch.
This reminds me of my old diaries, kind of embarrassing really.

I think feelings like that are pretty universal, I don't think he was suffering from undiagnosed depression or anything. I don't think he'd be a particularly good boyfriend either, I think he'd be clingy and needy, just like I was at that age.
+ July 10, 2009 10:57 AM +
Terrie-Is-So-Very in totally-unique-ville
I think I've fallen a little bit in love with this guy.
+ July 10, 2009 11:44 AM +
it's me again in Tigard in Tigard Oregon
I am an avid reader of Post Secret every Sunday. Do some of these Found items just seem to also fit in Post Secret? Sometimes I even think I'm reading P S when it's really Found.
+ July 10, 2009 11:55 AM +
D in her cubicle
O_O

*looks away awkwardly*
No, it's just my allergies... *sniff*

I am so compelled to hug this guy. <3
+ July 10, 2009 12:02 PM +
Sammy Davis Junior Jr
Are those water stains on this note?
Almost looks like artwork.
+ July 10, 2009 01:40 PM +
Clover in a place not far from Tigard
@it's me again in Tigard.. Post Secret is too sad for me, so I don't go there very much. I know a lot of people here like it though, and it's a cool idea. But so many of the secrets are so sad, even though the cards are very beautiful and interesting. You're right, Post Secret and Found have similar qualities.
+ July 10, 2009 03:29 PM +
Hiplainsdrifter in South Portland, Maine
@Sammy Davis Junior Jr - Possibly...caused by a combination of teardrops and semen.
+ July 10, 2009 03:30 PM +
Reading in Bed
I have to say that if you pick up any one of my diaries from when I was about 18, it is full of the same type of, who am I, where am I going, and why does he lover her and not me type stuff, so yeah I can relate. When you're 18 you're supposed to know what career you want for the rest of your life, and who and what you are, at least society tells you and expects you to. You can't escape those questions at parties, "Oh so you're graduating, what college are you going to, what's your major?" etc. I actually picked a mjoar at random, and even declared it my first year in college just so I would have an answer for all those questions.
+ July 10, 2009 03:56 PM +
Tom in the park, hiking from Daddy
Hiplansdrifter: eeewwww!
+ July 10, 2009 05:37 PM +
Lolita in a bad memory
I am not a dude..but can relate to this anguish. I hope he has someone in his life more supportive than I DIDN'T have.



+ July 10, 2009 05:52 PM +
JustMe in Ontario
People never cease to baffle me...i feel sad that the world has a-holes in it like some of the people who have commented so negatively here.... this poor kid has probably had to deal with the likes of you people, no wonder he's so depressed...
+ July 10, 2009 06:17 PM +
Neu in the school
I felt exactly like that last year.
+ July 10, 2009 10:29 PM +
Night in gale, chirrping Pink Floyd
Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain.
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today.
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.

So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.

Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time.
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over,
Thought I'd something more to say.
+ July 10, 2009 10:32 PM +
Me in the dark, windy night
The "love" (obsession) I experienced in my teen years was 100 times more intense than I ever felt in my 20's, 30's or 40's. Why is that? Is it raging hormones, or what?
+ July 11, 2009 12:04 AM +
Satsuma in California
I understand teenage existential angst and the classic identity crisis. I really do. I can't even pretend that they're things that I've entirely grown out of.

But oh my god, to be eighteen and still stuck in a middle school crush, convinced that it's love, making dire and self-pitying predictions for what's to come with a total lack of self-awareness or perspective...

I never really liked J.D. Salinger as much as some kids.
+ July 11, 2009 03:28 AM +
orinoco womble in wimbledon burrow
JD Salinger left me cold too...if you're not from the 1950's or at least from NYC it doesn't resonate much...
It's OK kid, when you get over 45 you will realise that happiness is something you make up as you go along. You invent it. And once you realise that you can't depend exclusively on other people to "make" you happy, making up your own happiness gets a lot easier.

I too was terribly intense at that age, everything was a miracle or a tragedy, so of course there were a LOT of tragedies. But keep expecting the miracles. Just work to help make them happen.

Keep going. You'll get there, and it will be worth the trip.
+ July 11, 2009 04:23 AM +
Jonathan too in my office (sshhh!) -- on a Saturday!



...and then I remembered my tuba!

OK, gotta go practise.

Everything is fine.
+ July 11, 2009 05:47 AM +
Jonathan too in my office (sshhh!) -- on a Saturday! -- again
OK, so Librarian got there before me with the tuba reference. *sigh*

Seriously, folks, were you never 18?

Kudos to this guy for taking a long hard look at his life and trying to think it through, at least as he sees it at that moment.

Just putting it on paper will have made him feel better and possibly made him realise he can grow beyond his present depression.

Interesting that he talks of orchestrating masterpieces (me neither!!). Maybe he IS that tuba player after all.

PS extra special hug to Terrie-is-so...
xx
+ July 11, 2009 05:53 AM +
Accutane
Wow. I would've thought I wrote this myself if it wasn't in someone else's handwriting. Describes me when I was 18 almost exactly.
+ July 11, 2009 03:13 PM +
knows what he's in for
From personal experience, this guy definitely has undiagnosed depression.
+ July 11, 2009 04:24 PM +
Has seen this all before in Alberta
I've been where this kid was (and I was older than 18 at the time), my husband has been there, and my best friend is still there. For the record, said best friend does have depression, and is in fact a sweetie. Depression can hit anyone, not just self-absorbed emo kids.
+ July 12, 2009 12:26 AM +
noname
i think its cool, this guy has no idea of all the people here thinking of him, some praying, and wishing the best for him.
+ July 12, 2009 01:12 AM +
Thank you
Random 18 year old, thank you. You've given me hope. I'm 16, and a girl. But we happen to be going through very similar experiences and it fills my heart with sunshine and rainbows to know that I'm not alone. Guess what? it's impossible that both of us are in this situation and there's NO way out, right? So one of us will find a way to persevere, and hopefully we'll share the insight.
The best of luck in life,
Hurting As Well..
+ July 12, 2009 01:44 AM +
Alex
I'm pretty sure I wrote this. Looks like my hand writing and that was kind of a while ago. I was addicted to heroin so that's why i was so depressed. Also the fact that I have depression and was on some ineffective medications that probably didn't mix well with the dope. I'm glad that shit is over with. I don't think I can take any more angst and bullshit like that. Lots of people go through the same shit, and I can sort of remember at that point that i was fixated on girls in order to avoid the real problems I had with myself. Anyone who feels like this I have sympathy for you. The only thing you can really do is focus on who and why you are the way you are, and try not hate yourself too much. That's kinda cool I somehow made it on here, but it's not really something I'm proud of because it makes me seem like a whiny emo bitch.
+ July 12, 2009 09:41 AM +
Clover, with her mom's voice in her head
Hey Alex, hi! In response to what you said, "The only thing you can really do is focus on who and why you are the way you are, and try not hate yourself too much." I'd go a step further with something my mother always used to say. "You have to learn to love yourself because you'll always have to live with you."

I'm glad you stopped by, and it's nice to see that you're staying afloat!
+ July 12, 2009 11:55 AM +
Frannie
Alex: glad to hear you're doing better and that you're not really a whiny emo bitch, after all. Good luck with your recovery.
+ July 13, 2009 07:29 PM +
Katy in Longiew WA
I think this note is one of the most depressing things I have ever read.
+ July 15, 2009 01:00 AM +
Eros in Florida
Poor guy, I feel for him and empathize with him. I've felt that way at different points in life. Thank God it goes away. The sun always rises on another day thank God... :x
+ July 15, 2009 08:31 PM +
Lee in USA
I read this idly and then about halfway through realized I wrote something all too similar about 20 years ago. I am 41 now. All those years of angst telescoped... whew. It's been a struggle all along just to be at ease in my head, just like for all of us (I assume). I hope he waits it out. Life gets no less absurd, but more bearable as the years pass.
+ July 15, 2009 10:47 PM +
stoptheworld in uk
When I first read this, I thought he said "drug on any further" and didn't understand why all you people are going on about getting pissed.
Then I realised it was "drag". Depression is valid at any age, stop being so flippant about it.
+ July 16, 2009 04:03 AM +
stoptheworld in uk
Oops, I've just read over all the comments again, and only just noticed what Alex said. I guess drugging on could have been what he meant.
+ July 16, 2009 04:06 AM +
Frottage in the Oort Cloud
@ "sick": are you absolutely sure the "dislexic" gene skipped you? (I couldn't resist.)

This depressive pussy-boy bullshit is what smarter young adult males tend to think in their darker moments, and I am among them. But it really is completely fucking embarrassing.
+ July 16, 2009 12:55 PM +
belief
Trust me, this sounds almost like the things that are written in my own journal. This made me cry, cause it made me think of my own life. It was like reading the story of my life and my future. But it is nice to know im not suffering alone...
+ July 30, 2009 12:42 AM +

Sign in or register to start a profile and keep track of your comments. You may also post without creating a profile, but you'll have to answer some tough spam protection questions.




I Made Chili ...

January 17, 2008
Baby I'm Sorry

October 11, 2007
Birthday Smile

January 25, 2006
Puppie Love

November 17, 2008












Welcome to FOUND
Sign In | Register


We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework, to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles - anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...