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February 16, 2009 |
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Blocks of Scariness
FOUND by Stephanie
in Zigzag, Oregon
Hubby and I go to the ZigZag Inn a lot for pizza; we're locals. Lots of tourists and skiers and such come through there on their way up to Mt. Hood. We found this note folded and inserted into the Keno card-holder on the table. The back of the note looks like it's torn from a injet party invitation or flyer or something.
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I Never ... December 15, 2008 |
Cease and Desist April 23, 2006 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
This is an intervention!
Yeah, I gave her some make-up advice. To get more tips, I suggested she drawn just one eyebrow arched nice and high so she'd be able to give the "10% - are you kidding?" look with the least effort. She just got greedy and went with the two-eyed look of shock and dismay. It isn't doing the tip jar any good.
I have nothing witty to say, just loud snorts of poorly stifled laughter.
That poor gal. That doesn't sound attractive, no. I never understood the drawing the eyebrow on way above where the eyebrow goes, unless you're putting on a show or something. Stage makeup, whatever.
Badly drawn-on eyebrows are just . . . creepy.
No offense to any of y'all who may not have eyebrows.
I used to work with an older woman who had over-plucked her eyebrows into oblivion. Consequently, she drew them on, but hers looked like she used a wide-tipped brown Magic Marker. It's a pity...she was a very attractive woman, otherwise.
My believe my favorite part is the "what TF?"
How funny! 'blocks of scariness' - oh no, what to do?!
What makes her assume that because they are co-workers they must be friends? They're probably getting a good laugh out of it too!
On the other hand, there's a good chance diehard Amy Winehouse fans tip her immensely well, and she's going for that demographic niche.
I like the little illustration on the note; nice touch.
Poor thing. Now she'll never know because her coworkers didn't get the note.
What's " a injet party invitation"?
Women in general are a petty breed.
Seriously ... what gives this chick the right to judge? Dirt-bag. <-- Yes, I know that that is me judging now, but I didn't leave it on a note for the dirt-bag to find when she comes to clean the table.
Take a look at this commercial. I LOVE it. It says it all.
http://www.splendad.com/ads/show/2928-Cheetos-
Try that again:
It should be:
www...blah, blah/2928-Cheetos-Pigeon-Attack
I have no comments aimed at the find, instead 2 for the finder.
1: do YOU know of the waitress this refers to? how could you end your "find story" without confirming or denying he existence?
2: and now that you took this note, the poor lady may never get the help she needs!
*Her existence
Memories of highschool girls who were constantly HORRIFIED at real or (most often) perceived) gaffes of fashion, manner or whatever. Some people never grow out of it, into their 70's (my neighbour's mother is a case in point). Puts the aggresive in passive-agressive. Not that the note is passive in any way.
I really wish I could have seen the writer's makeup...and dye job. I wouldn't be surprised to discover it was a case of pot and kettle...just a different brand of blacking.
I'm thinking the waitress actually was that human plane wreck Amy Winehouse... She went to ZigZag thinking it had something to do with rolling papers and ran out of cash - so she's working to save enough tips for a plane ticket back to the UK.
I wonder what the waitress' name is. If it's Kim, then I know her, and those very poorly placed eyebrows are permanently tattooed on. I actually know a girl who did that. Last I knew, she was living a Winehouseesque lifestyle, too (minus the talent part).
@Monkey in Denial:
1: do YOU know of the waitress this refers to? how could you end your "find story" without confirming or denying he existence?
She does exist. We see her there a lot. Lots of snickering going on when she's on shift. I feel bad for her.
2: and now that you took this note, the poor lady may never get the help she needs!
I know, it was a difficult decision... okay that's a lie, it was not so difficult--being a fan of foundmag, I had a moral obligation to share it. Maybe next time we go there, I'll put it back. Probably better anyway that none of the staff found the note.
Is this note writer suggesting that Amy Winehouse's make up is not scary?
I don't like the person who wrote this note.
@Stephanie:
1: it's sad that people are laughing at her for not realizing/caring she looks that way.
2: it was a difficult decision, and one every Found-hound will face at some point, but you made the right one. sure there note may have lead to helping her, but HERE it provides well needed amusement to us Found readers.
and you know, "the needs of the many... etc" and all that
I can just imagine some catty teen girls giggling at this poor woman and scrawling an demeaning letter to the staff because of this makeup crisis.
I know a woman who everyone says looks like Amy Winehouse just to freak her out. People will be like, "No, you look fine... AMY." She practically starts crying, it scares her so much. (Unlike Amy Winehouse, her makeup is not excessively scary.)
@Curious
I don't get catty when I look at the note, I get obnoxious. I get decent intent badly expressed. That's what makes it so funny and sad all the same. Hubby and I laughed then felt guilty because the note expresses what a lot of regulars like us think and do not say. I guess it takes a table of spoiled-rotten Portland ski-brats in Mommy's x-5 to express it--even if they failed in delivery.
Oh, and I meant inkjet party invite. It looks like it had cheesy clip-art graphics on it.
I will have to check this out for myself. I am an avid skier and go to the ZigZag occasionally. It may be my lucky day to get her as my waitress!
@ Stephanie: I know what you mean—I would probably think the same thing...
Inkjet party invitation is not as fun as the injet party I was hoping to be invuted to. Mile high club, anyone?
i really like whoever wrote this.
bahahaha
My only comment is this: What if the scary-eyebrow waitress really likes the way she looks?
If someone confronts her,she might tell them to f-- off. Same with the gals who don't shave their armpits or legs..they like it that way.
Zigzag..love that name!
Blocks of scariness is my favorite part of this note.
@ Stephanie, I am laughing my head off that you are going to put the note back. Someone else is going to take it. Who knows..we may see it on Found again next year, sent in by someone else (Robert Keim, maybe).
I think the word you're looking for here is "parlance." I don't think "vernacular" is quite right. Of course, given the context and the syntax implied by the paragraph's structure, nieithe of these might be the ultimately best choice. Instead, you might consider......
....Oh. Wait a minute.....
Never mind.
Freak show? Who are you calling a freak???
@lost in found, I think an injet party invitation is an invitation to a party in a jet.
Zigzag, Oregon.. what I remember about that is that the river flooded some peoples' vacation cabins there when I was I kid.
Thank you Stephanie, for responding. I was dying to know if you figured out which waitress!!
Perhaps she's from another time zone? time frame? ???
i once told a friend of mine that she should really tell her very good friend that her lipstick was entirely the wrong colour. Her friend cried.
Almost like being the first one to pass out at a party and waking up only to look in the mirror and notice the creativity of your friends and then thinking to yourself "I like this..."
It's the 21st century, and people are free to dress and accessorize themselves as they see fit. innit? If a woman wishes to look like a Bratz doll, God and Congress give her that right.
I wonder why the bold notewriters, if they're so "bold" and "caring" didn't pen a note to the waitress herself- or better yet, talk to her, chick to chick. Why pen this missive to the REST of the waitstaff?
Farmer in the Dell, you're in rare form. Pass the hookah!
What is wrong with people, that they have nothing better to do than make fun of this poor woman and her ridiculous makeup?
.. and then she rolls him in a zig zag,
and lights him like a roach..
and the fastest man
with the fastest hands
goes up
in a puff
of smoke.
I've been to Mount Hood, literally stood on the mountain, and the name is the only thing "hood" about it. In fact, I don't think I saw one black person the entire week I was in Oregon. Now that I think of it, I did see one. It was bananas, man. But I digress.
Ladies: easy on the whore makeup and I promise not to call you whores. I swear. Unless you present me with "blocks of scariness."
OK, am I the only one who thinks that eye in the drawing is beautiful?? I'd give just about anything for eyes like that! Jeez, I wonder what the note-writer would say about MY plain, squinty eyes? Also, I skiied Mt. Hood in the 70's and 80's, and my daughter went for the first time last month. It is SO expensive now to go up there for one day. Stephanie is right, the kids who go up regularly with a season pass are spoiled rotten...or very lucky.
It sounds to me as though someone was just jealous and had nothing better to do with their time but bring another person down. That letter was not to help but was to be a complete ass (which was surely accomplished). In this woman's defense, if she likes makeup who is anyone else to judge her? The drawing shows a pretty eye to me so how could that be a bad thing? I mean really she was just their server, what kind of pompous douche really takes the time out to do something like that? I see two scenarios as to who the writer could be...one a young spoiled rich girl who probably is so empty and shallow she found this poor chick to bring her down or perhaps an ugly old hag who again probably has outgrown roots, a leather face, and about 80lbs extra weight packing on that again they want to make themselves better by bringing someone else (who was probably more attractive than them) down. Really the writer gives a new name to douche...
what's a cow orker?
I, too, enjoyed the illustration; and not just the mere idea of an illustration to prove a point, which is in and of itself fucking hilarious: it looks like late-1960s advertisement art or a Steranko drawing (P.S. I met the guy once. Real character, that one).
But, seriously, what looks good on paper or canvas doesn't always work out in real life. For instance, a melting clock would be a really bad trip, man.
Iono, Jizm.. that time that the clocks and the walls started to melt and I oozed out of my body.. that was a pretty GOOD trip for me. (the one that ended with the in-depth conversation with the teeny tiny people living in the sand dunes...) Yeah.
What? Goth girls just don't exist anymore? They all have to be "Amy Winehouse" wannabes?
If the illustration is even close to reality, I see that same style every time I check out the "goth night" at a club here...
I know exactly who your talking about! We got some pizza with a side of drawn on eyebrows! It was great! She knows, but doesn't care..
I know exactly who this is about! She was our waitress once. Kinda scares you a bit at first. Not a face I would want for my company. Sorry Hun those eye brows look bad. I hope she understands how silly she looks and does something about it. Maybe someone should print this page and give it to the manager....
Okay, people. Put the questionable taste in makeup aside. How was her service? Is she friendly and outgoing? Prompt, speedy and efficient? Did you tip her? (aside from makeup TIPS?)
As Rafiki said in the Lion King (or was it the second one? DK, DC) You must look beyond what you see. Or as Gwen Stefani says, you're really lovely.. underneath it all.