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May 10, 2007 |
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Dear John
FOUND by Yvonne Choong
in Sacramento, California
Found this on our front lawn crumpled in a ball. I wonder if Britanni lost her nerve or if John just isn't interested.
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A Nice Home July 13, 2007 |
And Again ... May 01, 2008 |
Altar Boy July 22, 2007 |
Driver's Ed September 22, 2008 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
this reminds me of middle school
I admire her clarity of purpose.
I love the "Magic 8 Ball" options she gives him.
I like that despite her notes resolve in the ultimatum "either you like me or not," she still made 4 answer boxes. Perhaps she figured the outright rejection of "NO" might be too harsh, thus the 3 alternatives to YES.
"Here it is..."
I love the direct tone. I love the nerves and butterflies that when all said and done kept Britnee from writing her name correctly the first time.
This is too sweet. Circle the answer: too cute.
Kind of like a magic eight ball on paper.
My gut says SHE decided to ask later, crumpled it up and tossed it.
If it's "either you like me or not" why give John two additional options Britnee?
Awwww how sweet, but doesn't Britney Spears know that John Mayer is seeing Jessica Simpson? Oh. Maybe that's why it was it was crumpled. It certainly explains the self made mistake of spelling her own name.
If it's "either you like me or not" why give John two additional options Britnee?
It's kind of perplexing how her handwriting is inconsistant...the body of the letter is kind of normal, the answer box area is all irratic, and the signiture in cursive, doesn't match her regular writing...Everyone has 3 different handwriting styles, but it normally doesn't show up in the place...
...on the other hand, I like her how straight up she is...I'd probably get a lot further in life if I were like that...Props to Britnee, I hope John likes domineering chicks...:o
Maybe this is a first draft? I know if I'd spelt my own name wrong, I'd rewrite it. Then, even if he did say no, I'd be spared the embarassment of having him tease me the rest of the year for not knowing my own name.
Ah school days...
Suse, who still occasionally spells her surname wrong after 26 years.
She didn't spell her name wrong - she crossed it out when she realised that she'd forgotten to use her special signature script!
Do you guys think it was "not"? I mean, if he did like her, wouldn't it show? This note sounds a bit confrontational.
This is just the beginning of poor Britnee's struggles with boys: John, typical of boys of all ages dumped the letter because he was too much of a dick to even bother responding.
I can only speculate that Britnee will somehow rationalize John's dick move, maybe she'll say 'oh i bet he lost it, or didn't get it'. She'll maintain hope for a guy who isn't worth it. . sigh and she'll make that mistake over and over again. I wish I could help her to stop making excuses for dick guys but alas these are lessons we must learn on our own, if at all.
Wouldn't it be lovely if we could handle all our adult problems by simply writing a note like this? Oh wait... John hasn't answered.
Dang men.
she spelled sincerely wrong too
she said sincely
It really bothers me that she tells him to circle an option, but those are clearly check boxes.
Why are there check boxes if it says "Circle one of the below"?
Sincely,
Lr...no wait, Lauren
"Suse, who still occasionally spells her surname wrong after 26 years."
...and who also apparently doesn't know that "spelt" is not the past tense for "spell". Sorry, couldn't resist!!
I remember these notes from middle school. Don't ever recall an "ask later" option though. I think she must've been really insecure!
in elementary school my friend would give 3 option boxes when giving a note to a boy. 1)YES
2)NO
3)A TAD BIT
If everyone would look a little closer, you'd notice that Britnee didn't spell her name wrong in the first attempt... she simply wanted to sign her name in a more suitable fashion.
I can sympathize with Britnee; guys are so freakin' confused, they need a woman to push them around sometimes. Way to go, Britnee. I hope that John said yes... and if he didn't, just run him over and start looking for your next victim. :)
Maybe he was confused by the 'circle one of the below' instructions , with the check boxes next to the choices .Which one ? Circle or check ?!
I have been known to make this mistake: Tell someone to circle an answer then give them boxes to check off.....oh, to be thirteen again...please shoot me....sincely.
I realy have the urge to send a note like this to someone in class one day.... only mine will say:
Do you want to dance?
[]yes
[]no
Or i could wait and hand it to someone at prom. lol
Well I don't see a spelling mistake in the first attempt with her name at all. What you have here is someone who has recently been working on their autograph but forgot to use it for this incredibly important letter. Maybe that's why they rejected it. I'm confused by the use of tickboxes but the instruction to circle one of them, it kind of looks like ask later might be circled. If that's the case, there's nothing to be done but screw it up and write another one to hand over in a couple of hours.
So she wants Johnny-boy to circle one of the options below, then she provides a handy box in which to place a check mark. This girl needs to make up her mind. John-john was probably too confused to answer.
i did something similar in grade school once...and it freaked out the boy i gave it to because it was so demanding, and i watched him get up and throw it away in the trash, and proceed to not look my way for the rest of our time in school together. Its funny how you think you're being so adult and assertive at that age...
I remember I use to get these from all the girls in middle school. Oh yeah I was the stud. Of course I replied yes to all of them, cause then I could pimp them 'round the playground. Now for some reason they have stopped coming, maybe it's cause of the mystery spot on my face that scares them of, but who knows.
;-)
I think it's interesting that the note and the options are in two different writing O_o
Definately not your typical "Dear John" letter. At least she's sincely, so props for that, Brit.
I don't miss this stuff at all. Mostly because the answer would be "NO." Britnee, just show up nekked and bring beer.
Spelling Police, in England we use 'spelt' as the past tense of 'spell'; this is probably the same in Australia. Sorry to disappoint.
Dear Roxanne,
How's it going? Want to have a drink sometime? If you do, check this box.
Love,
Flargy
Steer clear of this chick, John. She has no idea what she wants.
Write the note yourself/have a friend write it.
Circle the answer/check boxes
Either or/multiple choice
Print your name/Sign your name
John's "dick move" was regrettable because he had the chance to get this psycho off his back and didn't take it.
Missin', I agree- I miss them too! Where the hell are you guys!!!?
And I also think 'ask later' might be circled.
What would happen if i ever wrote this note to someone: She'd mark "yes" scan it and email it to me and then avoid me like the plague. Dang women.
We'd check n' circle "Yeah, babe." Then we'd say dat we wuz Johnny boy n' we'd steal dat babe right from unda hiz noze. Dat's becuz we'd 'a heard da babe talkin' in da powda room, and we'd 'a know'd she jus' wanted sum action, any action. So we'd a took her for dat, spot n' all. Den we'd pimp da little hussy, jus' like all da otha babz we gotz. Yeah, we know'd it. We got it good. We got it all. We alwayz knows, cuz we's alwayz watchin'.
I wouldnt have answered either, I get a headach from reading it and wouldnt know what to do if it was actually given to me.
Dear Britnee,
John balled up your note and threw it away as garbage because he is a jerk-face, get used to it.
Your BFF,
terrieissovery
I have found notes like this in my 13 year old daughter's backpack/purse/trash before. (Do you want to go the dance with me? Check yes, no, I'm already going with someone, ask later, only if nobody else asks me, etc.) The variety of choices is sometimes amazing. When I asked her about them and why the checkboxes, she said that girls use them with boys because boys don't want to write anything and it takes the pressure off them just to check a box. Wow!!!!! From a young age, we women expect so little in the way of meaningful communication.
i think that she probably crumpeled this note up before she gave it to him because she didnt have enough guts, i woudnt either, or mabey she did give it to him and he just got really mad/embarresed and he was the one that crumpeled it up and left it for somone to find.
It looks to me like John drew a big circle-arrow-thing on the "Ask later" box. Maybe there is a Part II to this note....
Brit has a future creating government forms.
Isn't this type of note supposed to be written in crayon?
You know what irritates the hell out of me (one of one of the many things, actually)? How this generation of parents just kind of guesses, or makes up some retarded spelling, when naming their children. This is probably attributable to things like the baby-names book my friend saw recently which suggested that "J-Lo" might be a nice name for your little girl. Or maybe it's the opposite, and the existence books like this is actually attributable to the sheer slackjawed stupidity of so many "young adults" these days.
Once, in some newspaper article, I saw mention of a kid whose first name was "Awndray." No, really. I swear. I saw it.
Missing ... they're still here , they just got tired of their old names and choose new ones now . Look closely !
I had a conversation with a teacher about that, Flargy (w/r/t divergent name spellings). Apparently for a lot of parents it's not a conscious decision to deviate the spelling, just their mistaken spelling. Since they don't know the exact spelling, they spell it out phonetically. Not sure why a nurse or doctor doesn't step in and say, "Are you sure you don't want to spell it this way ..." but that's how it goes.
In all honesty, despite the irritation of not knowing the 1,000 different spellings of 'Andre,' I think I'd rather live in a world full of Awndrays, Ondrees, Owndrais, Aundrases, etc.
James, I'm sure a lot of it is just ignorance. For example, another friend's mother was on duty in the maternity ward at Yale New Haven Hospital one night several years ago. When one of the brand new mommies was asked what the first name on the birth certificate would be, the woman replied, "Latrine."
"Dear, you can't name her that," began my friend's mom. But before she could explain why, she was cut off with "Fuck you, white bitch. You just don't want my baby to have a pretty name."
Another baby-naming trend that's been making me sneer with derision for the last ten years or so is all these yuppies giving their kids stupid names like Tanner, Hunter, Brewer, etc. It's like, "Hi, I'm Faith Middleton. I'd like you to meet my son Shoemaker, and his little friends, Blacksmith and Haberdasher."
It's almost as bad as the hippies of yesteryear, running around with their little flocks of Stars, Rains, Meadows, Wheat Germs, etc. What a bunch of dumbshits.
my sister in law named her girls meaghan and haylee (megan and hayley), haylee isn't so bad...but poor meaghan!
Britnee, in a few years, will find that she is much more attracted to Breawna. Mark my words and check my box.
You remember the George Carlin bit where he'd go on about names? He said a proper name is the only time you can make up any spelling, and people have to take your word that your name is what you said it is. If someone saw your name written as xrtpffcbm, and you told them it was John - how can they argue? Showing my age... I think that was on "Occupation: Foole". Now poor George is just angry and cranky, kinda like Fl... uh, some other people.
I just had to comment after I saw the note about Breawna from Turbo. My friend's name is Brittanie. Seriously. Everyone gets her name right with the thousands of spelling options but no one EVER gets my name right. If my parents had spelled it Bre Anna then everyone might get it right. I think the phonetic spelling ensures that the kid's name is pronounced correctly.
(note, there is no 'o' or 'w' in my name, it's an 'a.' thanks.)
my heart goes out to poor Latrine and her judgenmental bitch of a mother. Black or white, you can't call a kid Latrine.
yeah Phlerjie, 'round these parts we got entire bus loads of Peytons and Paytons, but lest we not forget Amber. Right DIRTY FOUND?
haha. i love how she spelled her own name wrong at first and had to cross it out and write it again.
and that it sayes "either you like me or you dont" but she gives "maybe" and "ask later" as options too.
very nice find.
Gee, thanks guys...I never knew my mother's attempt to be different with my name 40 years ago would be perceived today as being "dumbshit", "retarded" or "stupid". No, it's not a hippie name, but it's a different spelling. It's enough to distinguish who I am among others with the same name, and I wouldn't change it for the world.
So there...:-)
(But I have to agree, some names have just gotten out of hand)
OOOOOOHHH! so THATS how its done.
i've heard so many stories of people choosing horrible names for their kids... one lady in our hospital heard someone say "meconium" when her daughter was born and decided it had a nice ring to it. look it up ;)
My mom heard about a woman in the hospital who tried to name her daughter the pretty name "Clitoris."
Also, in seventh grade I changed my name to Ami for about two days to be cool. My cousin changed hers to Angee and kept it. It's not always mom's fault.
Dear Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. Strangely Spelled,
My own name is the biggest pain in the ass that I have to deal with on a daily basis. Virtually nobody has heard of it before. Every time I have to introduce myself (either in person or on the phone at work), I have to say it, pronounce it clearly, spell it, pronounce it again, then give up and just let them call me whatever they want. The best part? It's only four letters and one syllable.
My grandmother wasn't a dumbshit for giving my father this name, but my father was definitely a dumbshit for passing it on to me after having already gone through these same hassles his whole life.
Sorry if I made you feel insecure. Despite being extremely opinionated and outspoken, I'm really not as much of an asshole as I may seem to be at times. So there.
The name thing upsets me too. I am not sure that it is a lack of knowledge on the parents part, they just want their kid to feel special by giving them a special name. Or if they really like a name, they will spell it differently so that child stands out.
It looks like he circled the Ask Later box if you look closely, that's probably why this was discarded...
My friend was telling me recently about his crazy aunt who thinks she's an alien , and she named her son Kashi Lite ! That's a cereal !
3rd grade...
my note to jen went like this:
"me+you=boy+girl" (today I'm not quite sure what this meant)
she looked at it and walked away.
I feel you britnee.
I use to work in Personnel and one of my employee's name was Orange Couch. I kid you not. Damn hippy parents. I felt sorry for the woman.
My last name is Latin of course, but its origin is England, go figure. Growing up, I got teased because kids couldn't pronounce it. They called me Burrito. Now I have issues & under some serious medication. LOL! Not!
I once knew a woman who had legally changed her name to Heavenly Blue Moon Skies. I'm not kidding.
I've seen the name Jennifer spelled Jenypher. I'm not kidding. Sheesh.
My name is in the Bible. Very few people spell it correctly -- even Bible reading folks at church spell it wrong, perpetually leaving the "h" out. My middle name is from my Middle Eastern great-gramma; why my parents thought her maiden name (which means green salad, whatever that's about) would be a good name for me, I'll never know. I like having a connection to her, but her first name was Elizabeth. Why couldn't I have THAT for a name? (okay, besides the fact that that's my sister's middle name ...). People also never spelled my former last names correctly -- both very much Anglo names, maiden and former married name. Now I'm married to a guy from the Pacific Islands and changed my name to his. No one spells it wrong -- they don't even attempt to write it down without asking for a spelling.
You'd think we'd name our kids something simple like "Amy" or "Bob" but no. Family names abound.
Flargy...yes you are.
Oh...I have to tell you. My kid sister, Peggy, works with poor people and one woman came in and introduced her daughter as "Ashley"...spelled
A-S-S-H-O-L-E'. I like the accent at the end. Top that!
Tess...you can go hump yer hat.
Okay, maybe I'm more of an asshole than I give myself credit for. Not so much that I should change my name to Ashley, though.
On a related note, another friend of mine (yes, I really do have at least the three friends mentioned here) went to school with a girl named Shithead. She was of Indian descent, and apparently, Shithead (pronounced shi-THEED) is not an unheard of name in Indian culture. There are some websites claiming this name is an urban myth, but my friend, who told me this firsthand, is not one to make up wild stories. His reality is weird enough on its own.
I have a friend who worked in social services and found herself in court with a girl whose parents had named her Crystal Blue Persuasion (like the song). This was made only funnier by the fact that her last name was completely non-poetic so her full name sounded like a poem followed by a hollow thump. Presumably by this time she may be married and have a different last name, but now every time I meet a woman named Crystal, I think to myself, "Could she be the one?"
My mom heard about a woman in the hospital who tried to name her daughter the pretty name "Clitoris."
Also, in seventh grade I changed my name to Ami for about two days to be cool. My cousin changed hers to Angee and kept it. It's not always mom's fault.
"Shithead (pronounced shi-THEED)"
Sadly, I've seen this name for real, too.
I know a person who legally changed his name to Real Bizarre.
I know another person who changed his name to Man-Woman.
And another named (from birth) Shadow Fox Thunderstorm.
I always feel guilty when I make fun of other names because mine is seriously trashy, too.
I think that some parents give thier children exotic spellings because they want to make thier children individuals.
On the subject of wierd names, I know a kid name Our Lord Jesus. So there you go...
oh, middle school....
i don't think john trashed it though, poor brittani is just too shy!
Esther, I'm with you there. Amazing how often we get spelt wrong. (that's 'spelt' not 'spelled' btw.) 'ShitEED' etc are in Freakonomics, chapter 6, along with Jazmine, Jazmyne, Jazzmin etc (it's an aspirational class thing, apparently). I have a friend whose granddaughter is called Pheobe...
I attended university with a girl named Flargy. She had beautiful, long blond hair, but her ass had a tendency to catch fire.
if this was it and he either likes her or not... why is there an option to "ask again later"?
haha LAME.
Flargy I agree about the stupid names. It's a pet peeve of mine too. I don't begrudge a persons desire for individuality and all that, but do it intelligently. The same goes for the emo' kids.
Most of the time when you see a name like that around these parts, it belongs to a low class, living off of the government trashy child.
John, you have more than only four options here:
You could also choose:
A.) Yes, Maybe & Later.
B.) No, ask Later.
C.)Maybe, ask Later.
D.) Scrath out your name and replace it with hers and then scratch her name out and replace it with yours. Keep doing this and giving it back to her, it'll buy you some time.
@Flargy--Couldn't agree with you more! Although, I think this trend may have been going on longer than we think. I saw a billboard advertising commercial property for sale and the agent's name was "Duhsten" (as in, Duh, my parents were so stupid, they didn't know how to spell Dustin). So you know if there is a person old enough to be a commercial property manager, then it's not just the current generation that's stupid.
@manda--My name is also Meghan (spelled with an "h") and no one has ever spelled it correctly, ever. It's the Welsh way to spell it and there are about 6 or 7 accepted ways to spell it. Growing up, I hated it because there was no one else named Meghan anywhere! Now, however, I have grown to like it(it goes well with my last name).I do find it everywhere, but not anyone my age! (I'll never tell!)
@Tess-- That's unbelievable!(But incredibly funny) I heard about a schoolteacher who is the friend of the family who had a set of twins in her class and there names were Pajamai and Matresse, as in pajama and mattress, but pronounced paja may and matrisse!
haha this made me laugh, because that's exactly how my dad asked my mum to marry him
he wrote a note to her saying "Dawn, will you marry me? check one. Yes (with a box) or No (with a box)"
hahaha
she checked yes :)
awwww...reminds me of that country song...doesn't look like it ended well for britnee though =[
the 4th box is always the hardest to make.
This appears to be a child, my guess 7-11, observe the hand writing and manner which it is written.
It's so nice to see the classics still remain!
Knew a kid named Taiwan. Why name your kid after a small Asian country? Then there are those names which are fabricated after too many crack sessions... Twikonda, Rofrequa, Conseeqa, etc. Also knew a Tyrone Hightower. Always thought that was a cool name.
i swear this is my sisters note. same hand writting and everything. her name is brittani and thats exactly how she writes her name
Is Brit having trouble remembering how to spell her name there?
Also, I like the final ultimatum sound of the note being tempered by the "Ask Later" option among the check boxes. Wishy washy.