 |
August 10, 2007 |
|
 |
|
|
Paper Can't Win
FOUND by Mary Ingram
in Moore, Oklahoma
This was an interesting piece of paper someone in my math class found lying on the floor in the hallway. I kind of see his point. What IS it about paper, anyway?
Sign in or register to start a profile and keep track of your comments. You may also post without creating a profile, but you'll have to answer some tough spam protection questions.
Bedtime Songs September 10, 2008 |
Slow Learner October 26, 2006 |
I Never ... December 15, 2008 |
Happy Spaniels July 26, 2008 |
 |
|
 |
         |
We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
This is beautiful! What a rant.
i completely agree. i know the game wouldn;t work if the wasn;t the circular aspect to it but they should have chosen something better than paper cos its unrealistic.
oh wow this is wonderful! i would love to meet the author. funniest thing i've read in a while
...granted it's a weird, irrelavant rant...but I love it...this is one of the many great things boredum produces.
This is the best find ever.
So hilarious and so true. I always loose at rock, paper, scissors because I make up something like dynamite. Seriously, what can beat dynamite besides nuclear explosion?
I've read this before, it seems very fake to me and why would someone spend time printing this out?
I really appreciate this find. I am pretty much rolling on the floor laughing.
People who randomly rant about such things really entertain me. And he's so right, too!!!
Why do we give paper so much power?
HAHAHAHAHAHA, thats a knee slapper.
If you type one of those sentences into google, it comes up as a quote, so it probably wasn't written by the person who printed it out, but that's ok because it was pretty funny anyway :)
This is hysterical. It sounds like an audition monologue.
Oh my GOD, it's so funny. He's so ANGRY.
har har
Personally, I just love that it was printed on a piece of paper. Take that, rock.
i picture dennis leary's stand up comedy from like 1995. source check!
'Bout time someone stood up to Paper and told it like it is.
i heard this from dane cook. frikken' hilarious. one of my favorites.
Paper beats rock because of an ancient Chinese custom. Legend has it that a Chinese emperor would place the Imperial Seal (usually a carved stone) on top of a new law if he approved of it. If the emperor did not approve the law, he would place the paper on top. Thus, placing paper on top of a rock became a symbol for defeat.
i usually go with the claw. its a mix between paper and rock and can tear both to shreds.
Absolutely hilarious!
This is hilarious!
Compounded by the fact that I have just finished watching the 'That 70s Show' episode where Fez struggles with this very concept. Very entertaining!
If this guy tried to punch me I would Karate chop his ass with my open hand. Nothing beats a Karate chop, nothing.
THIS IS THE FIRST FOUND TO HAVE MADE ME LAUGH OUT LOUD. I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING NEGATIVE TO SAY
Freakin' awesome. Doesn't matter where it came from, it's awesome.
okay. that was brilliant.
my friend and I have had this argument before. I love it.
It's creepy how this sounds like it was written by one of us.
Oklahoma has some amazing finds. First a hippo boat, now paper. I'm on my way!
YEAH, UNWORTHY IN A SHORT, PLEATED SKIRT. I DON'T THINK IT'S CREEPY BUT IT COULD HAVE BEEN WRITTEN BY ONE OF US.
PS- LET ME TAKE A MOMENT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I AM PLEASED THAT YOU STILL NAME YOURSELF AFTER MY LIST OF FEMALE QUALIFICATIONS AFTER THIS LONG
ALSO, I'VE RECENTLY MADE MY FIRST MYSPACE ACCOUNT AND SEEING AS YOU PEOPLE ARE MY CLOSEST DIGITAL FRIENDS, I WOULD LIKE YOU TO LOOK INTO THAT SO THAT WE MIGHT COMMUNICATE ON THAT MEDIUM.
THANKS, FOUND REGULARS.
KRAMER & MICKEY: Rock, paper, scissors match.
MICKEY: all right, rock beats paper.
KRAMER: I thought paper covered rock?
MICKEY: Nah, rock flies right through paper.
KRAMER: What beats rock?
MICKEY: Nothing beats rock.
this one of those chain e-mails that gets forwarded a zillion times.
buy the t-shirt that fits this find at:
http://barrysfarm.net/store/single_view/25
well what is the link to your myspace page mr. sea salt..?
/SALTINTHESEA
i found you..
Man, I live in Oklahoma I'm torn between being stoked to see stuff from my home state but jealous that I'm not finding any cool shit.
This is one of my favorites ever, though. No doubt about that.
YOU'RE NO SHERLOCK, I GAVE YOU THE LINK
holy hell, that is about as beautifully said it can be. Amen!
this is dane cook actually... one of my fav quotes by him :)
This find is halarious, but this year some friends of mine got into random things and found this website http://www.worldrps.com/index.php?option=com_frontp which is also a great laugh. The question is: What does paper do to dynamite? Also, we learned how to use the Scissor Sandwich. The site is a great laugh though.
i like how it's typed and grammatically correct. Rare. Thank you annoying guy. i don't know if i believe you you, but one can never have enough ancient chinese antidotes to toss around at cocktail parties.
DON'T BE JEALOUS THAT YOU'RE NOT FINDING COOL SHIT, MATT. SHERLOCK COULDN'T FIND ANY COOL SHIT, EITHER. OK? GET IT? OK? HAR HAR HAR.
I, too, have seen this before. In fact, I found it so hilarious that I put up in one of my blogs on MySpace as though I had written it. I originally stole it from someone else's journal. I thought I was sly. Guess not.
Still funny though. :)
NOBODY CAN PULL OFF IMPERSONATING MY EXCELLENCE PROPERLY
I really like that annoying guy who explains everything. And this found, whether "authentic" or "original" or not, started my day with a genuine chuckle.
I never threw dynamite playing this game, but I always thought "marker" or "sharpie" should beat paper.
I can't wait to whip out this argument next time my lovely girlfriend throws paper at my rock.
Hmm. That sounded kind of dirty, in a weird way.
This is so weird! I was actually just thinking this as I was playing rock paper scissors with my friends...although I didn't punch any of them.
What a fantastic find!
You won't fine the true impersonator working his/her magic today. I'm tired and frankly getting mona lisa, salt, hotmom, and occationaly rex all riled up is tiring after awhile. However, their pretentious "wowing" comments make them good targets.
Oh I love this. This made me laugh outloud right here in the cafe.
I've always wondered about this - I'm glad someone FINALLY said something.
LOL! I knew it all along! Love this find.
I laughed out loud, too. Why is this game sometimes called "Rochambeau"?
wow. this is the best thing i have seen on here in a long time. reminds me of my brothers somehow. definitly a great find.
Rhapsody: I use dynamite, too! It looks like rock, but with my thumb stuck up for the fuse. I own everyone at rockpaperscissorsdynamite.
I liked this find a lot more before I knew it was a Dane Cook quote. It's still pretty hilarious though. I especially like the part about punching someone in the face.
YOU ARE NOT THE FIRST TO IMITATE ME, IMPERSONATOR, AND PROBABLY NOT THE LAST. DON'T GIVE YOURSELF TOO MUCH CREDIT. THE ONLY PERSON YOU COULD HONESTLY RILE UP IS HOTMOM AND THAT IS BECAUSE SHE IS SO EMOTIONALLY IMMATURE.
Damn, Oklahoma is getting all kinds of love at Found these days. Maybe we could finally get a Found visit here? Pleeeaaase?!
Also, I agree with Matt- how come I'm not finding any cool shit here?
This find is hilarious- 'oh shit, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you'. hahaha I love it!
For some reason, I feel a little annoyed at the creepy remark today- what the hell. Also, am I the only person who finds it really irritating every day when people start commenting that: 'this is fake', 'this seems fishy and unauthentic', and 'oh please this font is TOTALLY in photoshop 75.2, everyone knows that'? I dunno, maybe I just woke up bitchy this morning, but it makes me wanna smack someone.
I really enjoyed this found; it cracked me up! But not as much as the comments crack me up on a daily basis. Thanks to the FOUND guys and all of the commentators (sp)for 'rocking' my world daily. Guess that Prozac is finally kicking in...
The paper tis mightier than the rock.
Chrome Toaster- what's the hand symbol for sharpie? i bet it kinda looks too much like the hand symbol for cock. What beats cock? Scissors? Paper cuts? Rock smash? Hmmm... maybe the question should be what DOESN'T beat cock?
Does it make you want to hit someone with a rock, Mickey B?
I can never win at RPS. I always get messed up,and end making sort of a scissor/paper meld...
anyone see the episode of 30 Rock (maybe i should just stop there...).. where they play that game "boff marry kill".. where you give three names, and you have to say which you'd do which to?
Remember when the comments were mostly about the actual find, instead of other garbage? You know, I actually don't mind SALT when he is merely commenting on the find itself, but then someone starts in on him about the caps, or they comment on his comment, and then every bloody page becomes the tedious off-topic SALT show.
The first rule of Internet trolls is to NOT FEED THEM. When you don't feed them, they go away. But you guys just keep feeding SALT and feeding him. Now it has even spawned a MySpace page. A troll. With a MySpace page. Sigh.
This find is clearly a sexist rant written by a very angry, women-hating young man. He chafes at the idea that something so obviously non-phallic could be more powerful than a rock.
Mickey, check the Events tab. I think FOUND is coming your way this fall. I had found something and I sent it in a few months ago but still no love. I am saving the other stuff I found for when they visit here. Then I'll show THEM some love....
As for the find we have here, it only made me think about when I saw the RPS tourney on ESPN. The whole time I watched it (why, I don't know), all I could think was, "Why isn't this on ESPN 8,The Ocho?".
Sorry, I'm really hungover...
my brothers play a form of "rock, paper, scissors" that they call "anything, anything, anything". it's just what it sounds like really. they each pick an object at random and whoever has the better argument wins!
This is so hilarious, and something I have always wondered about. Rock paper scissors is such a dumb game. I wonder who thought it up in the first place. Anybody know? Maybe I'll check Wikipedia.
I CAN'T WAIT TO ATTEND A FOUND EVENT
I went to a Found event and it was great! These guys are genious to come up with this way of making a living. They're skipping my town on their next tour tho. Boo-hoo. :(
I was wondering if Mona is one of SALT's myspace friends.
why limit comments to the find? have you never had a conversation that travels all over the place, and when you end up, you cant remember what it is that spawned all of your verbiage? That's what the comments section is like. Wanna RPS about it, In its entirety?
BTW, i think someone is impersonating SALT today.
my kids say i'm too old to have a myspace.
I FIND IT MODERATELY FUNNY THAT A NUMBER OF YOU CANNOT COME UP WITH YOUR OWN RIDICULOUS INSULTS FOR ME. AFTER THE FOUND GUYS CALL SPAMMERS THE TROLL, YOU ALL JUMP ON THE SHITWAGON AND ONE AFTER ANOTHER I'M CALLED A TROLL BY THE TROLLS THEMSELVES. DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT PEOPLE COMMENTING ON MY COMMENTING TURNING THIS INTO A SALT FAN CLUB. YOU'RE DOING THE SAME THING GETTING ALL UP IN ARMS AND EMOTIONALLY OUT OF CONTROL BY DOING SO
AND PEOPLE ARE, MONA
I'm going to play "anything, anything, anything" now.
Mona, you're not too old for MySpace. My daughter won't be my friend, and probably thinks I'm to old, but I have lots of other friends. Get a myspace, we need more older and thoughtful people on there. It's good for the environment.
LOVE THIS!!! First Found item to be cut and pasted on this 'puter! Thanks from whoever wrote it!!!
Bwa-ha, I’m going to play 'anything anything anything' at my friend’s party tonight. Hello popularity!
Believe it or not, my girlfriend and I have made many decisions using "paper, rock, scissors". It is not so bad if it is just accepted as it is.
This reminds me of the friends episode where they played rock paper scissors and Joey thought he won by fire but Pheobe retaliated with water baloon. http://youtube.com/watch?v=o_xH__mg03w (or search youtube for friends rock paper scissors).
I think this was taken from demetri martin's special on comedy central, Person. he has this rant in it...
When I play RPS I always pick rock I guess because it seems like it is superior to both paper and scissors and should therefore beat both. It might be a good strategy to bet that your opponent will pick rock because of this. I like to thumb wrestle better.
yeah, animal? this group doesnt accept anything as is.
thanks, Clover, maybe i'll take your advice, and get myownspace.
SALT.. i knew it.. i just knew it...
it's a stupid dane cook joke.
that guy is so effing annoying.
MONA LISA WON'T JOIN BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T WANT ANYONE TO FIND OUT HOW OLD SHE IS
Hey feeling better, you should look at this: http://www.sharingmachine.com/nd/ndsearch.php?searc
I think I know what happened here...and I speak from personal experience. Picture this: this kid, bored off his ass, sitting in front of a computer, knowing he's supposed to be working on some lame assignment, decides something, hell, ANYTHING else would be more entertaining. So, he thinks for a bit, staring at a blank Word doc, and finally it hits him: "Rock, Paper, Scissors", man! So, he types it up, not bothering to include punctuation, cause who bothers with that shit when something is really grinding their gears? Then he prints it out, just...cause...and decides that he doesn't want it anymore, leaving it for someone else to find, so that they may spread the word of the injustice of "RPS". I only think of this as a possibility because that's pretty much how I spent my entire English course one year. I mean, no one in that class got anything done. One person repeatedly sent our teacher hate mail while she was in the room. I once left a print out of a genius argument saying that it really sucked that both Goofy and Pluto were dogs, but Pluto was actually treated like a dog. I mean, if he was a "real" dog, he would have eaten Mickey's mouse ass. But NOOOOOOO....
Mona Lisa, that last comment from SALT didn't sound like him. I think you've been duped. However, mundane and lame comments from you are pretty common. SALT however....
Sorry Felix it seems it has already been established that this RPS theory was jacked from comedy central.
@ cassisu in side, smiling -
Thanks! Now I gotta check out SALT's myspace...
Probably the best found ever.
I agree. Intelligent person indeed.
Oh, well, the theory seemed plausible to me. I just knew way too many guys like this in high school. They probably just typed it up as they remembered it to give to a friend or something. And screw Comedy Central, they don't show anything good anymore anyways.
That was Hilarious! I love that found! That right there made my week!! (And boy, has it been a doosey.)
On a serious note: what's with all the bickering lately? People, lets just enjoy the Found. The comments can surely roam, but why the need to bash each other? Don't you have something better to do? I still don't understand why SALT is the main target either. This is several days running. I guess it's the caps - haha!
Anyway, it's Friday! Enjoy yourselves. I hope everyone has a good day. Cheers.
SALT - I AM SORRY BUT 'THE FOUND GUYS' DID NOT COME UP WITH 'TROLL.' THE CONCEPT OF INTERNET TROLLS (SHIT DISTURBERS WHO POST JUST TO GET PEOPLE RILED UP) HAS BEEN AROUND FOR LONGER THAN THIS SITE HAS EXISTED. IT'S AS LEAST AS OLD AS THE CONCEPT OF 'FLAMER' (SOMEONE WHO POSTS UNJUSTIFIABLY ANGRY RESPONSES FULL OF HYPERBOLE) AND DON'T TELL ME 'THE FOUND GUYS' INVENTED THAT, TOO.
INTERESTINGLY, BOTH 'TROLL' AND 'FLAMER' HAVE OTHER VERY SPECIFIC MEANINGS TO THE GAY COMMUNITY AS WELL. A TROLL IS AN OLD UGLY MAN WHO TRIES TO SLEEP WITH PRETTY YOUNG GUYS AND A FLAMER IS A QUEENY GUY WITH A LISP.
I actually just had the "dynamite" argument with a friend. I've always used dynamite (simply the index finger extended all other fingers curled in) -- scissors cuts the fuse, rock gets blown up... and not to start another rant but... paper puts out the fuse
HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND TOO KITTEN. LOVE YOU
SO WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME IS THAT YOU'RE AN ACTIVE MEMBER OF THE GAY COMMUNITY
sigh.
see y'all on monday, i'm outta here. have a nice weekend. I'm tired of the bickering, too, Kitten. And tired of the impersonation.
Whether this Found was original or heard from a comedy special is irrelevant. It's still fun to find a random scrap of paper with some non-sensical rant on it. Seriously people, chill out. This is the Internet. Just the Internet.
I love this! I laughed out loud.
Now, does anyone know who said this?
Is this from a George Carlin stand-up bit?
Or that anxious Richard Lewis?
Or what's that guy that does the angry rants sometimes on the weather forecasters?
Does anyone know who originally said this?
It's hilarious. Made my day.
salt, let's get hitched!
Love this! It's about time somebody wrote down the rules to that stupid game.
Of course we all could argue what wins for days.
"Annoying Guy Who Explains Everything:"
- Thank you! I love stuff like that - sounds perfectly logical to me.
"delani:"
- I really enjoyed your comment about as much as the find! LOL! I'm also going to remember the claw for future reference.
"Seinfeld Episode:"
- *Grins ear to ear* You just made my day - again.
My job is done.
Oh no, Mona Lisa signing out. How much you wanna bet she'll be back.
IT WOULD BE MORE APPROPRIATE TO PLACE BETS ON HOW LONG IT TAKES HER TO COME BACK
UM, IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH BEING AN ACTIVE MEMBER OF THE GAY COMMUNITY? IN FACT, I AM ONE, YES. DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?
YOUR CLASS OF PEOPLE ARE JEOPARDIZING THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY UNIT
i love this, it's crazy and funny
SALT... I do like you most of the time, but when you make stupid, ignorant comments about gay people it makes me hate you. I know you honestly don't give a shit about what I, or anyone else for that matter, have to say, but I just thought I'd let you know.
Even though I am not gay myself, I fully support the gay community and gay marriage. I have some gay friends and, to my knowledge they have not "jepoardized the scancity of marraige and the family unit".
I'm sure your life isn't filled with goign to church, praying everyday, following all the laws and not doing anything to ahrm any other person. How are they any worse then you are?
WHAT I SAID WAS A STOCK CLICHE THAT EVERONE SPITS OUT. IT WAS FUNNY TO ME BECAUSE IT'S SAID SO OFTEN THAT IT'S MEANINGLESS.
WHAT'S WORSE IS YOU SPIT OUT TONS
I DON'T CARE WHO'S GAY AND WHO ISN'T. EVEN THOUGH BEING A MALE HOMOSEXUAL MAKES YOU LESS OF A MAN, THAT'S A PERSONAL DECISION
Well, well, well...SALT'S colors are finally showing. I just knew it.
There always was something in between the pseudo-intellectual-dreck you spew on this great site that just SCREAMED: Homophobic!
You what they say - 'when someone shows you who they really are - believe them.'
FOUND MAGAZINE SITE MODERATOR:
I think gay-bashing ought to be grounds for perm dismissal from this site.
There is so much of that crap out there already - and it's certainly not in keeping with FOUND MAGAZINE....imo.
DID YOU EVEN READ THE REPLY ABOVE YOUR POST?
GEEZ, TALK ABOUT SLOW
Does anyone have the number for the guy who wrote this? I think I need to be friends with him and perhaps bear (bare?) his children...
"FOUND MAGAZINE SITE MODERATOR:
I think gay-bashing ought to be grounds for perm dismissal from this site.
There is so much of that crap out there already - and it's certainly not in keeping with FOUND MAGAZINE....imo."
Since no one can tell who is really who around here anymore, if this really is the FOUND moderator making this statement, just a question here: SALT bashes *everybody*. Is bashing gays worse that bashing women, which SALT has definately done? Giving him a perm dismissal should have been done long ago if that's the grounds. Not that I advocate that.
SALT is here to make people laugh and think. Does anyone really believe that such character as SALT would really spend his time day in and day out to come here and look at finds and rile everyone up? Come on, y'all, SALT is a persona, a character. If he were real, he couldn't be peeled away from the ESPN site or the porn sites that his employer hasn't blocked, or some other stupid crap that hot-headed, beer-swilling, overly-macho, testosterone-laden cavemen love so. Geeze. He's a joke. And I enjoy him, among others who visit this site. Get over yourselves.
Don't ya' just love when folks don't grasp blatant sarcasm? Gay-bashing? Hardly.
I'm also a wee bit amused that the very person who was complaining about flamers and trolls proceeds to post an unjustifiably angry response to the accused.
cassisu in side, smiling -- i love natalie dee.. and tfd.. and mtts :-) and charles
LMAO! that is great! this was written by a great mind!
Salt IS a joke - that hit it on the head.
Being a gay man does not make you less of a man. It just makes you in the top five of Salt's hate list.
Funny find.
I hate that game - sounds like the writer does too.
haha i wish i knew the person that wrote that.
NO, ANON, GAYS WOULD NOT BE ON MY TOP FIVE WORST PEOPLE OF ALL TIME LIST. I CAN TELL YOU WHO WOULD, THOUGH
WICCANS
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS
SIGUR ROS
BJORK
THERE YOU HAVE IT.
Ok, I didn't really find it creepy, but I don't usually have time to comment in the morning and when I did today, I just couldn't resist. So sue me.
PS-Salt, thanks for noticing. 8-)
And I've got a moderately ridiculous original insult for you: What's the difference between salt of the earth and Salt in the Sea? Salt of the earth is HUMBLE. (It's all in fun, darlin'.)
I'M AS HUMBLE AS IS HUMANLY POSSIBLE FOR SOMEONE OF MY STATURE
LOL
I think Salt in the Sea IS Chuck Palahniuk (who I think is a fucking great writer, by the way. Fight Club and his short story "Guts" are awesome).
Salt, why do you hate Chuck so much, anyway?
I WOULDN'T HATE CHUCK PALAHNIUK SO MUCH IF I WERE A 14 YEAR OLD HIGH SCHOOL GIRL
Felix, are you still in France? Cuz I love France. I wanna go, but didn't get to this year.
Siiiiick :)
<a href=http://www.comedycentral.com/motherload/player Martin's rock-paper-scissors bit</a>
Crap, I didn't know it wouldn't hyperlink. I can't figure out how to delete that. Sorry.
This find gave me a chuckle. Nice tidbit on how this came about annoying guy. Last time I played, it was a drinking game. I guess we didn't have a quarter. Funny, I can't remember if I lost or won...no wait, i'm sure I won. I always win!
ohh mannn, find me this wonderful, wonderful human being so we can be bestest friends.
No shit, true colors indeed. Ssarcasm can be hard to spot in print. However, to look at his myspace he is only 24 and from Dallas, TEXAS (Red). I don't believe I was that narrow minded and stupid at that age, but some are, besides who would have anything against Wiccans? Christians or Xtians as Turbo, Rex, Flargy, Matt, eggs1234, Pixie, Pepper....shit the list goes on and I'm on it too. Sorry SALT, you just ripped your panties.
Why is TEXAS in caps? Is salt's being from TEXAS supposed to indicate something? Inquiring minds just want to know. I have met some perfectly nice people from TEXAS.
And if you think only two things come out of TEXAS... Well, ok.
I saw the 'find' and laughed out loud. I then started reading the comments and was a little disappointed that it is probably just the print out of a comedy sketch. And then I gave up reading the comments because it's not enjoyable to read all about Salt - sorry, SALT - and the vacuous worlds of those who encourage him/her.
But hey, it's the nicest find since 'tough bounce.' Check that one out!
Hey Me,
Thanks for the head's up on "tough bounce" - I love that.
This was a good find.
talk about narrow minded...
First of all i wasn't "bashing" SALT as a person, I was just saying that his comment was extremely ignorant. I'm sorry if I don't recognize scarcasm through a fucking computer screen, usually when people are scarcastic you can notice it through the tone of their voice of their facial expression or whatever anyone does to make you notice it. But when someone is typing it's hard to notice which is why people have to either be careful what they're scarcastic about OR just say what you really mean!!
I wish I had some paper to suffocate someone with right now, If only paper did the trick...
who is the impresonater? He/she makes me feel unconforable and watched... you have a very sick mind.
Again sarcasm is harder to see in print.
still enjoying the find, since this morning...after reading all the comments, i still enjoy it...sure dynamite can blow up rock, but so can frozen water, so i spit in your face. water also makes scissors rust and water fragile, so i guess its only Gi who can ever truly be dominant over all...and that was a reference to Captain Planet...also...i hate to add to the other off-topic topics...but water dissolves salt. i think everyone just needs a hug.
Omar...
You think nothing beats a Karate Chop? You obviously have never had a fried Pork Chop with extra fat. Beats a Karate Chop all day long...
I love this find...best I've seen yet.
You know, I find it hilarious and amazing that when SALT first appeared on the scene, everyone hated him from the get-go. Then over time he grew on some to the point of people professing their love for ol' Salty-boy just yesterday. Today, SALT has managed to get back on some peoples shit lists.
Not mine. Just that I find it funny how quickly some can waiver in their devotion.
Has anyone heard of "Rock, Paper, Scissors 25"? It's a very extensive setup of Rock, Paper, Scissors with 25 different elements, all set up to beat each other and get beaten equally. Lots of fun, but hard to memorize!
chill.
also, this is a demetri martin joke.
@ Rex Winsome, actually, to throw "marker" or "sharpie" in the game, simply extend your middle finger.
The thing about Salt is that he started out as an awful troll saying obnoxious things; but since he's toned it down, I've actually kind of loved reading his posts. As long as you take him as a persona and with a grain of salt (lol), I've had no problems with him.
Love the find, by the way. It makes sense that comedians (as bad as Dane Cook and good as Demetri Martin) would use rouchambeau as material.
The game Rochambeau (Reaux Sham Beaux, which is identical to the game Rock, Paper, Scissors).
courtesy of wikipedia
I usually comment , then go back and read some comments . That way people's pissy "faker " comments and personal flirting and shit don't make me mad . I don't know why it does anyway . I love this find ! I have thought about the same thing before .You could drop a rock on paper that's held out and it would rip right through it . Rock is hella tougher than paper . Hmm ...
i think some people cant see Salt's sarcasm because they dont exactly know his personality. or just dont know what he usually says. i am also a member of the gay community, and when i read his comment, i thought it was hilarious. although i do laugh almost every time i hear that, even if it is coming from right wing bigots. keeps my spirits up when there really is no reason to be happy after hearing that
this is my new desktop background
Actually, it was said by Mitch Hedberg. Awesome comedian.
This is truly funny. I *hope* Demetri Martin said it first, because he is one of my favorite comedians. Dane Cook is ok. Don't know Mitch hedberg...will have to google later.
As to the debate about Salt or no Salt, here's my 2 cents worth. Humor is a beautiful thing. Funny thing about it, not everyone has the same sense of humor. Some people love Salt, some hate 'em. Personally, I don't. But why hate him? Whenever he says a comment that annoys me, I simply roll my eyes and read on...
"Pepper in in your nose said:
i like how it's typed and grammatically correct. Rare. Thank you annoying guy. i don't know if i believe you you, but one can never have enough ancient chinese antidotes to toss around at cocktail parties."
I hope I was not the only one to catch the irony that Pepper commented on the professional style but used an incorrect word, antidote rather anecdote, further in the commentary.
Rock, Paper, Scissors is a metaphor for power, money, and intelligence. power beats intelligence, intelligence beats money, money beats power.
bahahahahah! this is the most beautiful thing i have ever read
Wow, Matt, that's brilliant. I'd never understood this game anyway.
I still like the ancient Chinese explanation (or antidote) though.
This is probably the best thing I've ever seen posted here.
Hell Yes.
This totally made my day and put a smile on my face. Best thing I've seen in a long time.
That's from a Facebook group that I belong to. It's called "There's no fucking way paper beats rock". Someone must have printed out the description of the group.
This is not original. It's stolen from a comedy routine. Someone just printed it out.
Yes! This guy has put into perfect words my own thoughts about the darn paper-rock-scissors game! I think I just spent 10 minutes laughing hysterically.
I have thought that exact same thing many times!
i laughed.
and laughed.
and.. well, laughed.
:)
I laughed HYSTERICALLY. I now have a whole new perspective on rock paper scissors. I would like to know who wrote this, we would probably get along GREAT!
hilarious.
one of the best rants i've probably ever heard!
If this person really wanted to make a point, they should have printed this rant on a rock, not a weak-ass piece of paper, or maybe on a laser or some sort of a triton. Now, that's power.
http://ekarj.com/114/rockpapersscissors/
He must've printed it off from Karjala's website.
TOTALLY a blog rant (like others have mentioned)... FANTASTIC stuff regardless!
This is hilarious! I love the fact the he took the time to type and print it.
this is stole from thebestpageintheuniverse.com.... good try.
i want to meet him. this is so very hilarious. kind of reminds me of someone too. lol I LOVE THIS it might be my favorite find EVER. and that's saying something!!!
that's a quote off dane cook.
I bookmarked this last August and I just found it again now. Still makes me laugh. This kid is awesome ahah
Can there be anything dumber in the universe than a rock-paper-scissors CRITIC? lol does he really try to beat up people who say paper beats rock?
LMAO!! LMAO!! LMAO!!
This is JOKES!! and with all honesty I have NEVER thought about it!! Kudos to whoever managed to type this out, print it off and leave it lying in a corridor! The joys of being jobless...i love it :D
GOOD EYE lAWRENCE-- I THOUGHT IT WAS MADDOX TOO THE SECOND I READ IT AND i HAVEN'T BEEN TO HIS SITE IN YEARS. hOW IS THIS A FIND? I THINK I AM GOING TO JUST WRITE SHIT DOWN AND SEND IT IN NOW. "OHHHH LOOK WHAT I JUST FOUND... IN MY PRINTER TRAY!"
IS THERE NO FILTER FOR THIS SORT OF THING?
The spamm protection was actually rock, paper,..? How fun is that?
AHAHAHA That made my day!!
can i just let everyone know..
this is not something a random kid made up.
this is actually a dane cook skit.
he is a comedian.
I really like this. Hehe ^^ It's totally something I would say too. I'm such a freak like that. But seriously, it reminds me of this kid in my class when I was in 7th grade who always challenged people to Rock Paper Scissors and would make up his own objects that could never be beaten.
Now adays, we call that RPS 101. Look it up. It's really interesting how anyone could learn 101 hand signs and which beats which. O.O
It's just to even the game up dude - chill out....y'know 1 beats 2 2 beats 3 but 3 beats 1. Scissors, paper, rock. Now you cd play with numbers but it's kinda boring, so you make shapes and the flat of your hand is n easy shape to make but what the fuck does it look like I mean two finger, yeh I fugging get that scissors, a clenched fist - hell yeh a rock now the flat of my hand - t'fuck cud that be? A kite a fucking kite you telling me a kite no way - a road a piece of road yeh that fucking works but then how the fuck do scissors beat the fucking road no contenst scissors would be fucked so a flat thing - a piece of paper, kinda goes wiv paper, you be cutting paper up sometime why the fuck not but you got to make things even in the game or there's no fugging use you just pick rock all the time and win or end up both of youse picking stupid rock every time and then it'd be like stupid.
ahahahahahahahahahah
Good find! I heart a good rant.
But seriously....this is why we play cockroach, twinkie, nuclear bomb. Or is it man, cockroach, nuclear bomb? shit...it's been ages idontknow. thehangoverdoesnthelp
I'm usually able to make grown up decisions and compromises without the use of a silly little game. There is still the law of "dibs"
This is a joke from the stand up comedian Demetri Martin. Let's go for some originality.
Anybody watch the movie 'Brazil'? Robert DeNiro's death scene is possibly the best i have ever scene. One point for paper.
Thats Why Bear, Ninja, Cowboy is a significantly better decision maker. While the outcomes of rock paper scissors make no sense BNC follows a very logical pattern. Clearly, a cowboy could shoot the bear and win. However Ninjas clearly would never get shot because the cowboy would never see them until they got stabbed in the back. However, though the ninja is sneaky, stabbing a bear in the back just wont cut it, as it will then promptly turn around and maul out. Its very logical Bear > Ninja > Cowboy > Bear...
But if it SANDPAPER, it can sand away the rock into dust and dull the scissors, making them inoperable.