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October 29, 2008 |
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Brattiness Is Next to Godliness
FOUND by Marian
in Morada, California
Found this on my trip from Cali to Missouri on a Greyhound bus. There were two of them-- someone noticed them on the floor and I picked them up, read them, and decided to keep it.
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Puffy Jacket March 10, 2006 |
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Ceiling Treasure January 15, 2007 |
So Walk On September 27, 2005 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
...said Miss Manners.
How can you be both a butt and a butt face at the same time?
Oh, my.
My little brother went through a phase where every other word out of his mouth was "butt." Mom and Dad told him to stop using the word "butt," it was verboten, and so he started using weird random words to insult people, paired with "head." Whatever he was looking at, or thinking about, or whatever popped into his head. And then he'd defiantly tack "BUTT" on to the end of it ANYWAY. Sometimes twice.
"I hate you, Blaze! You fencepost gravel melon carpet beetle cactus BUTT. HEAD. BUTT!!!"
It was frigging hilarious, and it cracked me up so hard I used to rile him up just to get him to do it even though it REALLY made my parents mad (I was, like, eleven, and he was six, what do you want?).
This note reminds me of better days. Good find.
Insults in blue crayon! The height of mature expression! Boy, if you can't dazzle em with footwork, stun em with infantile bullshittery!
"you are a brat, loser, butt, butt face, and stupid and rude".
But wait, that can't be all! Is that an arrow in the lower right? So I assume there are even more insults overleaf? Only the finder will know...
When I was a pre-teen, there was a week one summer where my parents were out all day (both were teachers, so usually when we were home, they were too). After the second day of having my two brothers and me all race to the door when my mom got home so we could tattle, she told us to write our grievances on a piece of paper. We had strict rules against touching someone else's paper, which is important.
When mom got home the next day, she took the necessary time to unwind and then pulled out the lists. Here's a sample:
X hit me (times 3)
Y sprayed water on me
X lied on his list about me (times 2)
X cheated in Monopoly (times 8)
She kept some of them in her box of treasures, along with the photos of when we tried to cut our own hair, etc.
I wish my kids would fight on paper.
AND it's all spelled correctly!
I agree, Librarian. Miss Manners or not, Blue Crayon is a great speller! She got "loser" right, and remembered the double t's in butt! And I'm so glad she didin't start with, "u r".
..and stupid and nude.
I appreciate that everything is spelled correctly and nicely punctuated.
Gimmie back my blue crayon or I'll take it from you and stick it up your a**!
Oh geek, that sounds exactly like what a teacher/parent would do. Even down to the saving of the lists. I had teacher/parents too. And now I am one.
When my daughter was about four, she heard the "butt-head" insult in preschool, but she thought they were saying "button-head." So that was what she said when she wanted to insult someone.
I wonder if this person also smelled like butt....
If you write a note like this - are you allowed to call someone else rude?
This is obviously a love note.
wow! this is a rare find. an original, hand-written personal daily affirmation used by rush limbaugh. priceless.
@Clover--Buttonhead! Teehee!
My son is almost 5 and he is going through a really OBNOXIOUS phase right now. Everything ranging from insults to humor has to do with butts, pee, poop, farts and burps. I guess it's his only frame of reference, being 4 and all, but it drives me crazy! I've gone from trying to ignore it to forbidding that kind of talk in the house. Kids....can't live with 'em, can't lock 'em out of the house...
@ mlm, "can't lock them out of the house..." really? uummmm... i'll be back in a sec. i have to go unlock the door.
this is the worst fortune-cookie fortune ever.
There were 2 notes? What did the other one say? Oh, the agony of not knowing.........
I like to think that on the back it says something like 'but I love you' That's kinda how I feel about my husband sometimes..............;D
The worst part of all this is that Marian found this (as part of a set) on the floor of a Greyhound bus and picked it up. And kept it! Her mother failed her. Where does the courage come from to pick up anything off the floor of a bus without using tongs and rubber gloves and sealable bags?
Loser butt butt-face! Can't wait 'til the next opportunity I have to use that! Oh, wait - I'm not seven any more. Dang.
But wouldn't that put a great spin on a grown-up argument? "I'm sorry, Curious, your work just hasn't been up to par lately, and we're not sure you're on board with the team."
"Oh, yeah? Well, you're a loser butt butt-face! So there!"
I tried to bring back "So?" a few years ago - it effectively ends ALL arguments - but it never caught on. Beyond me.
AND the lines are very straight and level across the page.
....in bed
Grumpy,
If it weren't for that type of "throw germaphobia to the wind" behavior, there would be no Found Magazine.
butt and buttface - yin & yang
or an "Ouroboros" > a dragon eating itself.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ouroboros
and you would have to be stupid and NUDE to do this kind of activity....
This note is a perfect example of why it was so important to me to give my daughter a sibling.
No one shows the depth of love and honesty like they do.
When my daughter was about four, she knew that there were certain words she was NOT to say.. (those grown up words!) so she figured out the worst possible insulting "cuss word" she was allowed to say: booger poop.
She's nine now, and still uses it on occasion.
the finder said there were two notes. What did the other one say? Was it as eloquently written as the first?
The second one was not presentable, since it was covered in booger poop.
I did a cross-country trip on Greyhound about 20 years ago and, if it is anything like it was then, I'm surprised they weren't both covered in booger poop.
I think booger poop is my new favorite phrase! I can't wait to work it into a presentation at work.
The only response to someone who calls you a "butt-butt face " is to turn the other cheek....
I rode a Greyhound bus about 20 years ago and vowed that I would never, ever ride a Greyhound bus again as long as I live. It's true about losers, butts, and stupids.
Good point, Flargy. But, Kathy in Silicon Valley totally gets it. The perfect phrase to describe the blackish, unnamed gunk on places like bus floors is booger poop.
Many thanks to "getting my mouth washed out with dawn dishwashing detergent" for sharing this phrase with the world. I shall use it judiciously.
Wow ... I don't think those are the daily affirmations Jack Handy was talking about...
I'm glad I took my cootie shot before reading this Find.
And you're bad in the sack!
...I know you are, but what am I?
or..
I'm rubber and you're glue. whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you.
neener neener neener.
Oh, PS.
Let's All use "booger poop" on a daily basis, and maybe, just maybe we can bump it into the Found Lexicon!
@mlm - You can lock them out of the house but,"The dingo might eat your baby!"
Monkey, you just made me laugh.
@Clover: Thank you for explaining that "rubber/glue" thing. I've been away from kids for a looooong time and here near the Common the phrase has been reduced to "rubber glue, back to you"--sort of teen shorthand. I couldn't figure it out.
@mlm -- my daughter just got done being 5,and all of her insults and jokes have included "butt, poop, toejam, butt-pee, butt-stink or smelly socks" for the last few months. I tried to adopt the ignore-it-and-it-will-go-away philosophy, since there is no actual profanity involved....I am still waiting. I did feel better seeing that someone else is going through this, too!
@Miss Gredenko--It IS good to know that others are going through this. It's also good to know that it's not just boys who do this type of thing. Of course, it's another thing when the actual profanity starts. We think we're being quiet when we use cuss words, but apparently, we're not. He got frustrated at his Playstation the other night (my husband was playing with him) and he muttered, "God damnit" under his breath, I think just to see if he could get away with it. He didn't, of course, but it was fun to watch my husband try to keep a straight face!
I appreciate the blue crayon writers' honesty. what an awkward position this poor person must of been in to have to be the one to tell the recipient that they are a "brat, loser, butt, butt face, and stupid and rude"
What a burden to have to bear.
imagine being a "butt, butt-face"? Hope to God that I am never referred to like that !!!
i love how the little arrow entices you to read more..lol.