 |
August 17, 2008 |
|
 |
|
|
Asshat!
FOUND by Minton Clark
in South Burlington, Vermont
I found this in the Price Chopper parking lot. Obviously, some jerk parked his car across two or more spots. I like the way the author emphasizes the offender's obvious sense of entitlement by underlining "you," as well as the use of "asshat" as opposed to the more pedestrian "asshole."
Sign in or register to start a profile and keep track of your comments. You may also post without creating a profile, but you'll have to answer some tough spam protection questions.
Mr. Roboto September 06, 2006 |
Clean Friends ... July 17, 2007 |
Live Every Day May 18, 2008 |
List of Things ... July 14, 2008 |
 |
|
 |
         |
We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
Asshat! What a great word! Gets the point across..very well. And yet still civil...ish
Sounds like the writer and reciever of this Find live near each other and have an ongoing parking-space feud. Maybe they live in the same complex and the recipient has a nasty habit of taking the writer's pre-marked (with apartment number) space...and Asshat wrote a nasty note about it to the effect "How many spaces do you need? You have your own premarked space, stay out of mine!" So when the writer saw Asshat taking up 2 or 3 spaces by crossparking, they saw their chance for a little revenge.
"Asswhole" isn't pedestrian, is it?
Personally, I would have emphasized the word "need".
Are we sure this isn't a Refind? It looks so familiar... is anyone else having deja vu all over again?
"Asshat" implies the parker has their head up their ass to the place they can wear their own ass as a hat. 24/7, I assume.
I know a few asshats. They all park like asswholes.
I had an asshat once. but it messed up my hair when I wore it(you think "hat-hair is bad, you should see asshat-hair)
also wearing it made me look to donkey like.
(hhmm, Donkey in Denial. has a ring to it...)
@monkey: asshat hair! asshat hair! coffee out the nose, asshat hair!
and i suppose the size of the parking space would be relative to the size of the asshat... 10 gallon asshats vs average asshats...
Gloria - At first I too thought I had seen this one before, but I think I'd remember the word asshat!!! I love that the writer can be aggressive enough to write the note to begin with, but then gentile enough not to curse!
Great find!
I agree with Nightingale; I would have emphasized YOU. However, as baby basil said, maybe it was a reply; it does have that sort of ring to it.
Asshat?? Heh Heh Giggle Snort Snort!
"Gentile enough not to curse," Dimples? Don't kid yourself, gentiles curse a lot--tho whether they do so more or less than Jews I couldn't tell you.
Heh Heh Giggle Snort Snort!
(I can't get the late '80's commercial jingle out of my head.. "Price Chopperrrrr, Super Center!! Pricer Chopperrrrr, Super Center!")
HLOLWSCOMN
(although I was able to avoid spewing on my keyboard)
Once again: WWW.youparklikeanasshole.com
Asshat
Asspants
Assbowtie
Asscumberbund
Assteeshirt
Assjoggingshoes
Assbelt
Asssocks
Asssantahat
Assnavyblueblazer
And that's the end of my creativity I'm afraid. It's been a busy wkend creativity wise for this bear.:-)
Clover, what are you agreeing with?
f-yeah, gentiles curse.
Smallbear, I didn't know that website existed. I just looked at it, and bookmarked it. Too funny (like this site).
Is 'deja vu all over again' redundant?
me thinks, yes. (of course, Gloria, I know you did that on purpose).
I wonder if the Green Man likes cheesecake?
I put a note on someone's windshield in a parking lot just this week. It said "It is way too hot to have your dog locked in the car!" It was about 90 degrees outside. A big barking dog in a big truck at Ace Hardware. Looking back now, I should have called 911.
The note-writer obviously visits the same boards and blogs as I do--"asshat" is a standard variation used on the intertubes.
OmegaMom, would that be the SDMB? that was the first place I ever heard that term.. probably back in 1997 or so. (I've never actually heard a human being utter the word. I've only seen it in print on the 'net.)
i've heard it irl, hip hip hooray, tho i've never used it myself.
I agree with NIGHT IN GALE...emphasize the word, *NEED*...not *YOU*...then the the author would have got their point a wee bit better!
Love the word, *ASSHAT*!!
@fooch
I thought I was stealing the phrase from a movie (Repo Man?), but it seems to have come from Yogi Berra.
I would have also emphasized NEED instead of YOU. Or even emphasis on ASSHAT. The note author sounds like they are teasing or smart, but the insult at the end indicates otherwise.
I don't mean smart, I mean smart-assing.
TELL it, parking po-lice.
Love your list, Smallbear.
These are clunkier, but I find that "Ass" is pretty much the perfect prefix for all occasions:
Ass-teapot
Ass-question-mark
Ass-6-pane-window
Ass-wonder
Ass-beefcake
Ass-don't-ask-me
Ass-don't-sass-me
Ass-don't-ass-me
Ass-don't-take-me-to-task
Ass-keep-your-ass-off-my-grass
But then again...
Ass-me
Ass-you
Ass-dog-named-Blue
Ass-little-steam-engine-too
My favorite is assclown, but asshat is also good.
And yes, I think need is the appropriate word to emphasize.
I found my first angry parking note at my apartment a few weeks ago. It was too pedestrian to submit though. It simply said "learn how to park!" It was not attached to my window, thank you.
@ Mary
I find "ass" to be a great intensifier, like the word "very", but used as a postfix:
"Check out that big-ass SUV."
"That was a silly-ass movie."
"Be careful, that is a steep-ass hill."
how many parking spots do YOU need? Because I need a minimum of three.
Thanks,
Asshat!
@ Sammy Davis Junior Jr:
They do sell them in Wisconsin. They look like cheese.
@Cousin Eddie: no wonder I couldn't find one. I need to drive to Wisconsin.
AssMuff.
Vill in, that sounds Greek to me.
No, not greek.. it's ass muff. I-sick Ass Muff. He's very famous.
Asscan.
"Gotta visit the asscan. Hang on."
Ok..had to look it up:
ass end of space (my favorite):some remote location extremely far away
ass barnacle: someone is scared to do something
ass beer: the last sip of beer in a bottle or can
ass clown: A person who by ignorance or stupidity takes up unnecessary amounts of your time.
This is my friend's page of "ass idioms", started for the benefit of our Italian friends who found Americans' liberal use of the word "ass" confusing. It seem to have stalled out a few years ago and alas, lacks asshat. Now I have a new word for him.
http://www.groupedia.com/fun/ass_idioms.html
Today, I am a bit more enlightened, due to the extensive vocabulary-building postings.
wellnow. If we can add a W (my favorite letter!) to asshole and get Asswhole, what if we add a W (still my favorite letter!) to Asshat and get.. AssWHAT??
I like that. I like that just fine. Asshat just doesn't make sense.
What about ass haggis?
And I happen to LIKE silly ass-movies. (although I'm really more of a T-man)
My husband says "asshat" and "assclown" quite often. At least once a week. (Is that "quite often"? I'm not sure.)
Living underground as I do, TV reception is not good, meaning I'm not up on all the slang. So excuse me while I show my ignorance: WHAT is a "candy-ass"? I know it's derogatory, but I can't figure out if it means a) a childish wuss b) someone who is supposedly "gay" (in the derogatory sense) c) someone whose ass you'd like to...yes, well.
Any info appreciated.
Hahahahaha!
Asshat is one of my favorite insults!
@Orinico--I've always thought that "candy-ass" meant someone who is a sissy, or someone who is gay. Either/or, or both!
Honestly, all the *asshat* stuff about made me wet my pants laughing. (Would my asshat have been wet? You bet!)
I can't wait to use it in conversation!
http://www.asshat.com/
I've never heard candyass referring to a gay person. Just to a chickenshit, a weakling or a wuss.
Whenever I see asshat, it looks like asphalt at first. I might start calling people asphalt, see what results I get. At least Mommy can't get mad at me for swearing, right?
How closely does asshat relate to Poo hats?
(http://foundmagazine.com/find/695)