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July 02, 2008 |
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Forgotten Marlboros
FOUND by Nicholas Gates
in Milwaukee, Wisconsin
This is an empty pack of Marlboros, found in the stairwell in my apartment building. I say it's addressed to forgotten love; my girlfriend says it's addressed to the person who littered. Who knows?
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To Get Mysteriously... November 29, 2005 |
Just a Little Happy... December 16, 2005 |
Straighten It Out... January 06, 2006 |
BJ from the Blone September 26, 2005 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
Very poetic. I like it. Kind of Allen Ginsburg-ish.
This is almost word-for-word what I said to my family when they left me behind at a neighbor's barbeque when I was about 5 years old. Yeah, we had a big family - all the more reason to notice that there was more room than usual in the Ambassador station wagon!
We ignorant sloths are always glad to have a new member descend into our particular circle of Hell.
I admire the writer's economy of words to illustrate his point.
He probably could've written more if he wasn't saving the "Miles".
I dislike litter bugs too . . . smokers, on the other hand, are usually likable . . . but throw your frickin' cigarette butts in the trash!!
nicholas, you've probably heard this before: your girlfriend is right. again. and will be many, many more times.
Dontcha love how the two Finds of each day are related to each other?
But who picks up trash, composes and inscribes a message, only to put the litter back where it was found?
Wasn't this one posted earlier in the year?
I prefer the word,'sloth' for a 'litterbug'.
I haven't regressed into the darkness of ignorant slothfullness in over two weeks!
That's what I was thinking, Freon.
I am having a case of deja' slothfullness, too.
is this another one that was submitted by both the GF and the BF of the finder team? Must Investigate. Please stand by.
Okay. a Found search of the word "slothfulness" produces:
For the Love of Guinea Pigs, April 29, 2008.
http://foundmagazine.com/find/4184
I guess that title and Finder's bit DIDN'T go with the note. somewhere there's a guinea pig picture that we really NEED to see now.
Blame it on Cain. Don't blame it on me.
(ohwoe) It's nobody's fault.. just seems to be his turn.
Last night my digital cable went haywire. I still got all of the stations; I just couldn’t access the channel guide. After flipping for awhile, I decided that it was too much work to have to figure out what was on by actually watching for a minute or two. So I put on a bootleg copy of Sex and the City... which turned out to be the biggest steaming pile of corn kernel encrusted poop I’ve ever seen. And two+ hours long. It was so bad that there was nothing left to mock. I watched to the bitter and totally un-liberated end and I’m pretty sure that I did only because it was easier than having to watch TV without the channel guide.
I just think that I should be taking some of the responsibility off of the Marlboro Man's shoulders.
"Jane, you ignorant sloth"
Singing:
You get a lot to like with a Marlboro...
Filter, flavor...
Pack or Box!
Really, I'm not as old as I come across.
I'm sorry, am I missing something? What photo? Guinea Pigs?
Hmmm. I don't know, Alan.. yesterday with the Flying Nun and now Marlboro commercial jingles? It's okay though- my mental image of you is still intact.
I want see the guinea pigs.
(and I just had to use a calculator for the spam protection...)
You have to appreciate the "whomever" used instead of "whoever".
Hate to break it to who ever this note but the "regression into the darkness of ignorant slothfullness(sic)" began at the beginning of time, when the first human walked upright. Not at some time in recent memory.
Cherry,
I can also recite comedy bits from Jack Benny, Monty Python or Brian Regan at will.
a very handy skill indeed...
I vaguely recall the Marlboro jingle, but now have the Chesterfield's "a silly millimeter longer 101s" slogan replaying again and again over the background music of "No Matter What Shape" by the T-Bones (which was used by Benson & Hedges) playing over and over in my poor widdle head. And all because of trying to remember the Marlboro jingle.
How does this passive-agressive little missive make the writer of it a better person than the original person who dropped the litter in the first place? Pick it UP, but don't write on it and put it back, you ditz--throw it in the trash where it belongs!
"An empty Marlborough pack," perhaps. An empty pack of Marlboroughs sounds like ciggies agonizing in an existential crisis, knowing that they are the causers of cancer and suffering. "We're just so empty!"
Freonz
La la la laa
La la la laaaa
It's to the litterer. And yet even more anthropomorphizing! I think we have a theme over the past week or so.
Take a look at http://foundmagazine.com/find/4184
This note really gets around!
That's a lot of big words.
@Alan--I might be with Cherry on this one. You're not old, but you can recite Jack Benny comedy bits? Did you know Moses on a first name basis, too?
@regression in to the darkness:
Toviah? Hell, yes! Alan and the big guy used to hang out all the time.
Alan would toss a lit match under a shrub while Moses was distracted and wait for him to say, "Look! A burning bush!" Everyone would laugh except Moses, who never seemed to get it.
@Midlife re duplicate find. Hmm. Yeah, what's up with that? Can someone from Found explain what's going on?
This reminds me of another find I've seen before.
Thank you Midlife! Because I am finding that I cannot always rely on my memory. For one thing, I don't remember it as what appears to be two pieces of paper. But, there it is.
Now if I could only remember the guinea pigs.
@ Midlife & Watson with 'Pooping' Sherlock -- THANK YOU!!
When I thought this looked familiar, I'm afraid that I started doubting my bendable mind. Whew!!
And Jason, what'd you do with our Guines Pigs??
Awaiting further elucidation... :-)
Camelia, who are YOU? You can find me if you look in various places. CuriousKat did. I hope that you do too. :)
"Clearly, Watson, this note was written by an unemployed suspect holding an Artium Baccalaureus degree."
"But how, Holmes, how do you know this?"
"Elementary, my dear Watson. Only an individual with an advanced degree in English Literature would have not only the motive and opportunity to plant such a missive, be poor enough to be forced to put scraps of soiled cardstock to use, and also possess the ability to so eloquently write such a pointless cry in the wilderness. I like to call this deduction the "Theorum of Takes One to Know One."
"Brilliant, Holmes, brilliant!'
Jen says this was on a photo and Nicholas says it's on a pack of cigarettes. It looks like a pack of cigarettes. Oh yeah, Jen's was actually a photo of guinea pigs, wasn't it? I forgot.
It's a bummer because I had a good theory. It was that Jen scanned the find and submitted it, and took it with her to Milwalkie where she lost it in Nicholas' stairwell.
I wonder if that has ever happened? And if not, if it ever will happen?
*Milwaukee* Oups.
What happened to Camelia's question?? The one right before I asked, "Camelia, who are YOU?" I know my memory is not THAT bad!!
Ahh -- THANKS JASON!! (I had inadvertently slipped, loving' my Found family, and used a snick of my REAL name dodooo... dodooo....
I've got a HUGE response post I'm grewing up -- I'll be posting it later -- please check back Clover (at least!)
*I* do need to point out that one of my faaavorite characters on Kidz' TV is "Snook", the Sloth on the Wide Wide World.. (They live in the World Tree, a tree that's the biggest in the world & has tons of critters and characters all around. He's slow, but not slothful.
Okay -- sloth (animal) vs. sloth & slothfulness(one of Seven Deadly Sins). Now I get it!!
@Sammy Sammy Davis Davis -- I *loved* your "Jane, you ignorant sloth!!"
Be back somewhat soonish!! from ~CaMElia (in cloak & dagger once more!!)
Hi, Clove! *waving hello* What was Camelia's question? Because I see a question from her to Jason on my screen.
Waving helloooo at Midlife, too!
It's "To whoever forgot me," not "To whomever forgot me." Bad grammar. No biscuit.
"Slothfullness" is a sesquipedalian word for sloth, meaning indolence, idleness, laziness (it is also one of the seven deadly sins, along with envy, pride, gluttony, greed, lust, anger and lack of concision). "Slothful" is an adjective that means, "characterized by sloth." "Slothfullness" awkwardly remakes a noun out of the adjective.
Of course, "humankinds'" should not be plural possessive. There's arguably only one humankind.
Also, "regression" seems to be the wrong word; the context suggests the writer probably meant "descent."
And "ignorant" doesn't logically modify "slothfullness." One may be knowingly idle or lazy, after all. They are two distinct qualities.
"Degenerate" is almost certainly misused, although I'm at a loss as to what the writer actually intended. Finally, the comma after "person" and the lack of a conjunction there creates a comma splice.
Other than these small details, it's still a complete non sequitur filled with adolescent hyperbole. That's what makes it a good Find.
blame it on the RAIN...
Hi Kat! Sorry, I went away.. hope you're still there. The question was, "Clover, who ARE you anyway?" (or something like that) and also she said something about how we had simultaneously posted almost the same thought at the same time, which has happened before (this time it was about memory being unreliable). It was directly above my question to her, which makes my question to her make more sense..
But now I see why it disappeared. Wow, that was quick work, Jason!
I'm still here. I've been poking around old Finds. After my lunch date on Monday I've had soooo many more questions so I've been doing 'research'.
I thought about you a lot today as I was weeding and pulling out all the clover in my garden. I may have even cursed you (sorry!) a few times.
Ouch!
@Midlife Crisis in Ca., brilliant post!! I'm still laughing.
Only 22 days 'til Ancient Vivi's found birthday!
Hi Clover... I've been seeking thru my docs & files for notes from when I've done some research on my Found buddies. I found out you're in Oregon... and, one of the 'ditties' I saved - in a file by itself - is this one:
Clover in the lawn with the unicorns -
When my daughter was little and it was her turn to say grace at dinner, her prayer was: "Dear god, thank you for all the unicorns and Pegasuses in our imaginations."
Still seeking & sleuthing some more...
Oh boy... I posted (and lost) my loong post earlier. I'll probably recreate it tomorrow.
BUT - Clover, I googled "Clover Oregon" and found this flickr pic titled "Crimson Clover, Oregon"... it's a wow!!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/85772568@N00/4045
(first I tried "clover in the lawn" -- the very first suggestion was "KILL clover in the lawn"... I knew I had gone astray!!)
Hey, Camelia: The same exact thing happened to me when I tried to find Clover (and a few others). Don't even bother googling Mona Lisa unless you want to research art history. But if you keep it up you might still find Clover. I can think of some good hints even...
@Midlife- Brilliant! Alan also used to tease him because of his inability to swim. Needing to part the sea and all, you know. "Can't you just use a floatie, for pete's sake?!?"
Hey, Regression: I think you might be thinking of Noah. Alan told him a floatie would be fine but Noah had to go and build that big boat.
Camelia... sh-h-h! Your comments are makin' me laugh though.
Did you check out that Crimson Clover pic? (I also picked up another [somewhat useless] bit o' information... "crimson clover is used to dye [New Zealand?] wool.."
See? I'm already a bit 'shaky' on the details!!
I loved the unicorn & pegas-i quote though!!
I'll poke some more...
@ Same thing happened to me ~~
Re: "Hey, Camelia: Don't even bother googling Mona Lisa unless you want to research art history."
Something tells me I'd got on one of them goose chases if I looked for Librarian too!! lol
How's your quest going, Camelia?
How's your quest going, Camelia?
Midlife -- hey! How ya been?
Alan -- how about the Goons, Peter Sellers solo routines, I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again, Tony Hancock, Victor Borge, Joyce Grenfell, Anna Russell?
Not that I want to get into the 'I'm older than you' game...
And no, I DON'T remember Much Binding in the Marsh or ITMA.
I knew this post looked too familiar. FOUND messed something up here....
http://foundmagazine.com/comments/4184
Hey saUsage police! I think by "degenerate" the writer meant "lowlife." They wre probably high. It WAS a good Find, wasn't it?