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July 17, 2008 |
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New Years Resolutions
FOUND by Jenn Phillips
in Vancouver, B.C., Canada
My grandfather found this and thought it so cute that he brought it in to show us all. He never specified where he found it. I especially love the 'Winner" sticker. I hope they all kept to their many resolutions!
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
The whole family goes to bed at ten? wow
speak chinese at home? awesome!
i visulaize a happy little clockwork family that plays the piano together, does their math workbooks together, follows ben franklin's early bird advice, exercises, eats right, scrapbooks properly and reads. kinda like the little dolls that live in the big clock at disney world.
on the other hand, my family is doomed to having warcraft addicted teenagers, a non-cooking mum and dogs that sneakily pee on the carpet.... thinking about the happy family makes me happy in my chaos~
(which i love, math workbooks drive me nuts)
I'm always disappointed when stereotypes are reified . . .
I just added up all the hours this would require, and there aren't enough hours in the day without double-booking (like doing the pleasure reading while on the computer; or practicing the piano while swimming; or speaking Chinese while sleeping).
Will it count if they dream about drinking milk and water during a workout?
When Mom looks for part time work - she will surely want to mention the dinosaur award she won for compiling this list.
My household is almost like this one, except we don't speak Chinese, or play the piano, or work out, or.. well.. nevermind. My household is NOTHING like this. Does this mean I won't get a "winner" sticker?? Dang it.
I guess I'm just gonna have to try harder. But if it involves math workbooks, we're all doomed here.
Kid's Goals:
1)Get mom some medication
2)Put ourselves up for adoption
Mom. Gotta love her.
I usually don't equate weight lifting as a cure for back problems. Maybe it's different for the Chinese.
An hour and a half of computer time?? Surely you jest.
Why is the family's list a list of "resolutions" and the Mom's list is a list of "Goals?"
The page looks torn off at the bottom. I wonder if there was once a "Dad's Goals" list. Maybe he tore it into little pieces and chucked it. Maybe he folded it neatly and placed it in his wallet, as a constant daily reminder. Or on his mirror... Or is Dad's entire list covered in #3 up there?
You know what I like the least about this list? That it's typed. I like seeing a list- maker's handwriting. And it was probably typed in Word, so the program would have corrected any misspellings. This Find is too sterile.
Change the year to 1997, change Chinese to French, change computer time to TV time, and this list could have come off my fridge. Horrible. Absolutely horrible. (Except mine would have been illustrated with little drawings of each activity.)
Btw, how is it possible to leave for school only 35 minutes after waking up?
I live in a diverse neighborhood, equal parts White, African-American, Asian, Hispanic and various others. You never, never see the Asian kids playing outside. According to the neighborhood kids - not allowed - must stay inside to study.
That being said - bring on chaos!!! My kids remember the times I let them play hooky from school so we could go to the lake, or to the arcade to play video games and make ourselves ill on too much pizza and candy. I'd rather make memories than achieve perfect attendance or maintain the highest grade point average.
And kiddos did just fine - one graduated with degree in biochemistry, cum laude and the other graduated with double degree in music ed and music performance, also cum laude.
OOps I guess that's 55 minutes.. definitely enough time to get ready for school. Just skip the shower and grab an Instant Breakfast on your way out the door.
I wanna go to happy's world!
Eat more fruits and veggies?? In our neighbourhood, it's also diverse in ethnic backgrounds, however, the Asians DO eat alot of fruit and veggies!!
I guess every family is different, though.
Can we say, TOFU?
And, TURBO- I thought the EXACT same thing you said...you'd think heavy weight-lifting would make your back worse, but if it's like therapy then the lifting wouldn't be so heavy and probably be done in a different manner, too.
My resolutions every year, are NOT to make any!
Clover - I used to get up for school a half hour before I went to bed - then walk 20 miles uphill in the snow with only worn socks on my feet!
Kids today - they've got it dead easy.
And ALAN- I bet it took you 2 hours to walk to that school because it was 10 miles away, right? LOL!
You've got a great sense of humour, hun!! Reminded me of what my Grandparents and parents would say to us as children!
OOPPSS! make that, *20 miles*...sorry!
This reminds me of a Supernanny episode that was on recently. It was a Chinese (or Vietnamese-I can't remember) family. The kids were so loaded up on "activities", that sometimes, the Mom would fix dinner and put each child's meal in a plastic cup so they could take it in the car to go pick up another child from yet another activity! Geesh! I vote for lying on the couch after dinner and playing video games with my son (he's too young to have homework). With all of those resolutions and goals, someone is bound to feel neglected, and I say it will be Dad.
@Beldar ... you're SO right! I can't IMAGINE how anybody would find enough to do on a computer to use up an hour and a half each day.
alan, I think you're quoting Monty Python!!
No, no Jonathan my material is all completely original
- if by 'original' you mean stolen from someone else.
...and now a word from our sponsers..CCTV
Milk=GOOD, Soy milk=BAD
JALBUM, the choice for all uber achieving chinese super moms!
Growth charts with photos!! (ha ha ha stupid americans who write on walls)
What if the family doesn't want to speak chinese or play piano? Maybe they would rather start a punk band or play dodge ball.
Mom should look for FULL TIME work so she can make use of her controlling tendencies OUTSIDE of the home.
Wow, I think we have a three way tie for the 2008 "Goody, Goody, Goody Two-Shoes Awards...Isn't that just SUPER!!!!
acceptance speech lineup:
Jenn (also Chinese)
The grandfather (yep, Chinese)
The typist (Chinese, but is eager to be whatever will get her kids into the best schools)
I have one word for Mom...Get a Freakin' FULL Time Job!! Your kids will be much happier. (Good idea on the fruits and veggies, though)
If the whole family is amenable to this plan, these people are waaaaaaaaaay too wholesome and ambitious. The mere thought of this kind of self-disciplined, vanilla lifestyle makes me nauseous. Have a beer, Mom. Give some to the kids, too. And why not get Dad a hooker to help with his back problems? Hey, you never know what might work.
@Flargy--Agreed! Although, the hooker would have to be one of those small, Asian hooker-types who would actually walk on his back to help it.
I'm typin my list, checken it 5 ways, gonna get Mary back if takes me all day.. Come on' everybody now!
Speaking of five ways, where's Mona?
Aah, the wisdom of Flargy again. Where've you been, guy?
Yeah, right. For "Resolutions for the Family" read: "New Rules for THE KIDS to follow." Notice that Mom's "Goals" repeat a very few of the "resolutions" which would indicate that she doesn't consider them binding on herself.
Wake up and smell the spirulina, Mom. If you don't lead by example, this is just a wish list. If you want everyone else to do this stuff you'd better be willing to be out in front, showing them how, cheering, not scolding.
I heard The Cheese Bank has some part time openings.
And I only see 17 New Year's Resolutions on this list ... nowhere near 2,007 of them. What's up with that?
I love this - it's cute and has a tone that suggests it might have been a list compiled together w/the kids in a family meeting.
Some of the things are rather inspirational too!
I think Mom used up 1 1/2 hours of computer time making up this list.
We have to guess the family is Chinese, but her flawless spelling and grammar leads me to believe English is her first language - and probably American-born - hence the call for a healthier lifestyle.
Kind of like how the last comment (as I'm reading it - Just Jan's)has the exact opposite sentiment from all the others.
Personally I can't even see these lasting the traditional 2 weeks after New Year's day.
I hope it was written with some awareness of how unlikely they are to be kept, and some humour. But I fear it wasn't.
hhffpphhmm !!
I don't know why you all say this is going overboard -__-; Seriously.
-Everyone should eat more healty. That doesnt requiers much time. Cooking maybe? But I cook everyday and it doesn't screw my shedule.
-There nothing wrong about fixing a time to get up (they are obviously always late if they have to specify the time they need to leave) and a time to get to bed (kids always try to go to bed AFTER the bed time.
-Speak chinese at home is good too. If it's your roots, you most keep them. First step to stay in touch with a culture is to speak it language. This doesnt add any time to your shedule. My childrens speak our native language at home.
-Do your homework. Period. How many of us got in college and slacked off because we just never learned to dedicate a certain amount of time by day to study? Most of us.
-The mother want to learn piano too. I see there a great mother-childrens bounding time. Why not? Maybe it's just for the mother too. And it's just 20 minutes!
-Computer addiction is now acknowlage as a real problem. Same goes for videogame addiction. When you see more the back of the head of your child than his/her face... when they rush dinner because they "have a instance to finish" or a "notorious Monster" to slay... When internet take more space then real life. YOU and your CHILD both have a problem. I do think 1.5hrs a day for a young kid is far from engouh, same goes with TV.
-Cleaning up after eating and playing is just normal.
SERIOUSLY! there is NOTHING wrong with this list. I don't know why you all went up saying it was made by a compulsive mother and so on -___-; It look like a familly sat at the table and took resolutions together. I think it's sweet and lovely.
I wish all familly was so well organised. Maybe I would have less kids calling at the help center I work for.
@sophia
this is THE BEST!!!
cleaning up after eating is just normal??
if that theory really holds true.. then why does lister need to put it on the list?? huh smart tee pants?? huh???
I'm am SO taking that and engouh. They are mine, mine, mine
Weight lifting DOES strengthen the back muscles , therefore making the back stronger and in time less pain.
I hope this family didn't forget their goals just because this piece of paper was lost.It's so cool but the fact that it was lost makes it sad. "The heck with the stinkin goals...grrrr"
To all: Please refer to my comment from yesterday's Find, to know my thoughts on this one. (The one about bullshit)
since when is a dinosaur a winner??? I thought they were extinct
I think we need to all speak more Chinese at home. I vote for that.
On second look, I see it is another frickin' list and not a ballot.
Only 20 minutes of practicing piano!? I had to practice for a whole hour. It paid off too - while it lasted
@Sophia.. thank you, now I feel better. There's more than one way to do things right. I think you've got some good points (obviously, or this list wouldn't look so much like mine in the old days!)
And what is your home language? Just curious.
Still, I'm not making lists like this anymore. FYI.
If there really were a Cheese Bank, I'd be broke, because I would eat all my assets!
Holy shit... does this mean that today is Found Magazine's BMOC James Molenda's BIRTHDAY??? IF that be the case, Happy Birthday, James... have a beer on me. (I sent you guys six bucks the other day- really- but I sent it to Ann Arbor. Tell Davy to use it to buy you a beer!!!)
Hey, Seriously, your number FIVE fan: we'll have to ask Night to verify if it's her boyfriend's birthday. And don't let Davy buy anyone unless it's something other than that garbage beer he drinks.
I went to an awesome Chinese restaurant in Flushing NY that was vegetarian; was surprised (and confused) to be served delicious beef and chicken. Found out months later IT WAS TOFU!! I would have SWORN it was meat in taste, texture and presentation. If I could cook tofu like that I would eat it all the time. Also, I have signed up for a Chinese class at our local community college this fall and can't wait to start. Just felt like sharing.
When I was a kid we had a Chinese housekeeper. Can't stand Chinese food to this day. Egg rolls do no make good after school snacks.
Ok, so wait, what's the "garbage beer" Davy drinks? because all I've seen him drink is some mysterious amber-colored liquid in a water bottle..... Maybe summa that?
...do NOT make good after school snacks.
Oh, right, he's drinks water. Sure. And that blue liquid in the giant blue cup permanently attached to my hand is gatorade.
I think our friend Flargy called his beer 'burro piss'. Now that's a lovely visual to sink a lime in.
One more thing--I'm listening to your playlist.
Aha! Well then, maybe you could supervise, just to make sure it's like a Redhook ESB, a Dead Guy Ale, or maybe even a good ol' Montana Moose Drool... (and now you really have me wondering about blue liquid in giant blue cups.. what DO you sip to see you thru?)
Hey then.. check out my new pics (keep on Rockin' album) and let me know if it's ok to do some with select FINDs on them.. (Television, Bunnee, Love Me, The Happy Monkey.)
No profit to me.. just FREE ART (free Rocks, TYVM, Cringe) and your URL on the flipside.
Blue vodka and Fresca. (Remember Fresca?) But I've been known to drink other things even though I've sworn off all dark booze (that Jack makes me a little nutty). And, of course, I'd never turn down a malt beverage.
One of these days I'm going to have to swear off drinking and visiting Found. Probably should do that before I end up posting something totally regrettable.
Pass the smarties, please.
Cheers!
I saw the rocks. They were great. And I saw all those rocks in the pics of Night's vacation and I thought you would have had a blast with them.
You absolutely should make some rocks with Finds on them. How about that blue whale?
I love M*A*S*H but don't know that quote.
Alright, you guys really need to sign in if'n you're gonna carry on a conversation. How do you think it makes me look that I can actually follow what y'all are chattering on about?
Gramma used to paint on lake rocks all the time.
Well, Night, you must be really smart to be able to follow all this.
Shoot--on the other hand maybe we're not as cryptic and clever as we think. Hmm...
Is it your boyfriend's birthday or not?
(*well, the last word was aroused.. but I prolly shouldn't get into that. There's been enough randiness on Found this week I reckon.)
Blue Whale. Check.
And Night- it makes you look SUPER COOL! That's how it makes you look! (I'm not signing in. And you can't make me! If they don't follow simple instructions, offered freely MONTHS ago, then they don't need to know. Right? Right?)
Cheers to you guys, too.. and to anyone else who's listening at the mo'.
How about that cute little cat drawing from the Find about the cat that peed in the laundry basket? Not as cute as happy monkey but close. OR ANCIENT VIVI! That's a good one. Oh, wait, that would be hard to put on a little rock. Gonna have to get a big one for that.
Coldplay on Leno or Cougar on Letterman? This is why I need a dvr!
Oh God.. decisions decisions.! Love Coldplay, but Cougar.. (wait. Cougar? I immediately thought John Cougar, but that's not his name anymore is it? whatchoo talkin' 'bout, willis?)
The good news is.. There's Youtube! And tomorrow, whichever one you chose to miss.. you can probably catch on youtube.
I agree that Ancient ViVi is a litte too.. intricate.. (well, maybe. I'll have another look.) I surprised myself with a couple of those, so I might give it a whirl. Good idea on the cat pee one. Adding to the list.
Yes, Cougar Mellencamp whatever. I guess that just goes to show hold old I am. Darn.
Can't wait to see the next batch of rocks. And tomorrow I'm going to feel like there are rocks in my head.
Cheers!
Who is James Molenda and what does BMOC mean?
BMOC= Big Man On Campus. James Molenda is one of those. (in the Found Magazine World.)
And he's kinda cute.
And apparently it's his bday today. (or I guess yesterday, if you're in the Eastern Time Zone.)
sophia, for real? oy.
@Too late: James from Foundmagazine.com!
Happy Birthday, James, from your own lil Fan Club!
Oh now I see who James is.. he's a found celeb. And I thought he was one of those Pseudo Historical Figures whose name I didn't recognize. IS he among them? Well, gee, Happy Birthday wishes are in order! Happy Birthday James Molenda!
James Molenda apparently has nothing to do with the flying Wallendas. I was highly disappointed.