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April 11, 2008 |
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Don't Be Selfish
FOUND by Mike Brooks
in Chicago, Illinois
One morning my wife and I found this note under our windshield wiper. I imagine it was left be someone who hadn't lived in a city very long, or didn't understand the ebb and flow of parking "spaces." Or did I actually park like an a**hole, but not notice?
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Missing December 12, 2007 |
Look Into My Eyes February 17, 2002 |
New Unauthor... December 09, 2008 |
When It Comes... November 25, 2008 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
*Yawn* Another parking note.
Does Mike Brooks own a bug or a hummer?
There's always gonna be half a parking space leftover. Might as well be his car that enjoys the buffer.
Come on now... how does the note writer know who was parked in front of the recipent, and how well?
I hate when parking note bandits assume that they know, at a glance, who in the world is responsible for a city's lack of parking spaces.
I have no time for the big city.
Hmmm. if myspace.com/michaeljamesbrooks is this guy, maybe he drives a tourbus...?
Quite a few hits on the name for Chicago.
Sounds like the note writer has spent a lot of time in S. Europe, where parking is quite literally bumper-to-bumper, and people leave the handbrake off so you can push their car to get out after they park you into a space by double-parking behind your car. In Spain and Italy, if the car fits, it's minimum distance!
Once you get used to parking like that, it takes a while to realise that the whole world *doesn't.*
I'm living in Korea, and people park here wherever they can find a space. Crosswalks, curbs and sidewalks included. Most people have their cellphone number embroidered onto a little pillow on their dashboard, so if they've hemmed you in with their double parking, you can call them to come move their car.
Spam protection: 454 divided by 2 is what? A mighty difficult number to figure out on my fingers!!
I don't understand why everyone is on the side of the parking offender. He's obviously being a jerk. I think the writer of the note is being pretty reasonable - the smiley at the end signifies perhaps his realisation that he might have been a bit mean in giving you this note.
There is a niceness in knowing I'll not only never recieve one of theese notes but nor will I ever feel the need to leave one. Sure I see people park like jerks but it really doesn't matter I walk everywhere take the bus if it's too far and though public transit on a wet day in rush hour smells so bad and feels so gross you swear you'll never do that again...I meet the most intresting people on the bus and skytrain.
Parking in an intersection, I love that name. The cell phone number on a pillow would cause some stalker issues here.
baby basil!! So that's how they do it!! I just got back from southern France where people park just as you describe. Bumpers touching. We took pictures. And wondered how they move their cars out of those tight spots. In France there would be no such thing as half a space left over. Because there'd be a Smart Car in it.
Usually when in Europe I'm like Rogue Pirate and take public transportation (it's fun and not as smelly as in this country) so I've never had the experience of having to budge someone's car so i could get out of, or into, a parking space.
Interesting about the cell phone pillows in Korea. Fascinating things one learns about different cultures, all right here on Foundmagazine.
"Damn.. I'm in a tight spot" (O brother where art thou)
I am severely dissappointed with both "Mike" and "Found." Lately there have been more and more letters that were written to the submitter. That is not found. That's like saying, "So I found this letter in my mailbox." Ridiculous. Forcing finds is just not right. There is an element of randomness that draws most of us in here. Park how ever you like but actually have patience and FIND something.
I agree with Freonz.
I like the face at the end. Not smiley, not frowny. Very non-committal.
@William - Just because it was *found* on his car doesn't mean it was to him. The intended recipient could easily have passed it on after they read the message. Perhaps they even thought he was the one who wrote it.
Whenever I need to get my car out, I just pop a Footos in my mouth and the guys from the Foo Fighters come and move it.
It is not a parking note, its a note about a guys "perfomance". Apparently he leaves a little to be desired... About half a car length to be exact.
I couldn't imagine parking like that and it makes me thankful that I live where I live (which happens to be a city but a much smaller one).
I went to the Bahamas once and their driving really freaked me out at first. Eventually, I understood that there was a "method to their madness" (as you might say). The locals had an understanding...if someone cuts in front of you let them cut. They signal to each other differently as well...with their car horns. That was a little unnerving and a bit of a culture shock. They do that in Costa Rico and Guatamala as well and probably in other countries that I haven't visited.
so many times in my life have i wanted to leave a note on someone's car like this. never on the street (obviously not knowing what the parking situation was before i arrived, therefore not knowing who to blame) but ALWAYS at places like target or the mall. these pompous assholes that park in two places because they have a bmw or something. it makes me want to ding their doors on purpose. i mean, if you are going to park in two spots, at least be courteous and do it in the BACK of the parking lot!
Dear William in Miami, please start up a website to entertain us ASAP!! I can't wait to see what you have to keep us all happy!!
Sorry for boring everyone. The beauty of the note, which for some reason wasn't posted with the above was the drawing the person made on the other side, which I may post later today.
For the record, the gap between me and the car in front was made by the car in front I consider myself a quite courteous driver, parker and city dweller.
I was just coming back to mention that the myspace Mike Brooks above is not this Finder Mike Brooks.
Mike, you didn't bore [ALL OF] us, and we KNEW you're an okay parker! Thanks for sharing your Find with us, and let us know if and when you post the other side somewhere!!
@William: I won't say that I'm "severely disappointed" with the FOUND community, but I agree that finding is better when it is spontaneous, serendipitous, organic, if not a little whimsical. And @kc: if Mike drives a VW Beetle, then there is a pretty good chance this note was meant for him.
I've received a couple of weird/interesting notes in my day, but the only way they'll make their way here is if they blow out of the back of the garbage truck (once I finally bring myself to get rid of all the paper I freight) and end up at the feet of a fellow Foundhound.
But the point is that some Finds strike us as magical and others send us to orphanpuppiesintrouble.net for something more amusing. Take the good with the bad and wait for another midnight...
But the REAL question is: If I took a job at a paper recycling center purely for the sake of finding good Finds, would my employment cheapen the finds? Or would it just confirm that I am a hopeless loser? Please advise! The completed application is here on my desk ready to be sent...
Hey, not your fault at all... You know how people are on the internet. Always brash and prentending to be unamused as if they have something soooo much more interesting... By the way, thanks for checking in... Its always cool when submitters comment.
I can't tell you how many times I've been tempted to leave just such a note only to be seized by reason when I realize I have no idea what the landscape was like when this guy parked. Such is life in the big city! Now I wonder if Mike Brooks uses lawn furniture to save the street spot in front of his house when he shovels it out after a snow. That would make him a true Chicagoan.
To TPTB at Spam protection : A dentist IS a doctor.
Not so CLever.. not a hopeless loser.. a Hopeful Finder!!
Maybe I'm just gullible but I couldn't find orphanpuppiesintrouble.net. =(
Probably just gullible...
Probably a friend of Jason's. Why else would we have to see another parking note?
Hey Googling the finder, thanks for the wrong Mike Brooks myspace post. Found a new artist to check out. I probably would have never come across it otherwise.
Thanks to Mona for Buck 65 turn on (even though he's a little more famous) I probably wouldn't have come across these days (older).
@Mike Brooks, aw, shoot! There was a drawing on the other side? That would have saved the note from mediocrity. Wish we could have seen that part. We've had several learn-to-park notes recently and one that included art would have been a welcome change. Also, pardon me for being a judgnmental bitch at the witching hour; I was sleepy and had no business posting.
Not so clever, the sounds like Finder Heaven - if you can avoid getting the axe in the first week for pawing through all that Found raw ore.
living in a chicago suburb, i can say that when someone parks not-all-the-way-up....its VERY annoying. the white line that designates the length of street that is parking permited is limited. and the person at the very top of that line likes to leave a half a space in front of them rather than parking all the way to the end. they dont NEED the room as they just drive foreward and theyre out of the parking spot. so assuming this is what the guy is talking about...he has every right to complain. i have had to park down the other block many times because of this.
Spam protection: Do you see a doctor or a dentist for a toothache?
Parking notes usually bore me as well, but last night my housemate and I were walking to collect our pizza, when we witnessed the most awesome display of incompetent parking EVER: Rather than pull carefully up alongside the long stretch of open curb, this particular individual waited until she was directly in front of the pizza place and then sort of jerked the wheel to the right. Then she shimmied the car back and forth once or twice before shutting the engine off and climbing out, leaving the car half in half out of traffic. (Seriously: Cars were having to cross the yellow line to get around it.) We stood there for a minute in open mouthed amazement as she walked past, and then went to get some soda. When we walked back the car was still there and had two notes tucked under its windshield: One read “You are a very inconsiderate person and should be forced to go back to driving school,” and the other (my personal favorite) simply read: “Dude, You suck.”
I like the completely neutral face at the end. It really adds something. :-|
Ginger
I read that face as a response to how that last sentence went. Like "Man, that didn't come off as zingy as I wanted it to."
Ah, it's a european thing, so that's what the deal was with the crapface who parked behind me, touching my bumper the other day. Not only was I a little cheesed that he put a nice scratch in my bumper, I also spent a good ten minutes trying to figure how the hell he got in there (he was about 6 inches from the front bumper of the car behind him). I thought maybe he had a hover car or something.
So much angst, so much deference, so much consternation, all for the placement of an automobile. The so-called asshole-parker is a friendly Darwinian reminder that these things just have to go. We should glory in the rashly, foolishly, biggly-parked car. The car is passe. It's on the way out. It's a matter of time. Thank god for the double-parked Hummer. Well-behaved drivers and parkers endanger our collective survival. Parking poorly is a friendly harbinger: THIS CAR, AND EVERY CAR SUCKS, HERE, THERE, AND EVERYWHERE.
Long live the double-parked bicyclist!
In the meantime park your car like an asshole. Eventually it'll be good for the survival of the species.
I forgot to park a comma between "CAR" and "SUCKS".
Yeah, I care.
Yeah-- what was the point of the neutral smiley? A smile or a frown or an angry face I can understand, but to make a face that's "no face"?? *tsk tsk* Insanity!! ;D
More than once I've been stuck circling the blocks looking for a spot because of people not pulling up close enough to the car ahead (assuming the space was there when they parked), or to the end of a driveway or something. But just as often I see people pulled up soclose that there's no way anyone can exit the driveway in question, or back their car out of a space made too tight by a more recent park job.
I *definitely* appreciate drivers trying to save space, but I find just as often that people are equally ignorant in their driving habits in their misguided efforts to "do the right thing."
Coffee intravenous, that description of the bad parking job made me LOL! Thanks!
@ Coffee: Great story. These are gems for another website: http://youparklikeanasshole.com/ Share the love.
And :-| is most certainly a passive aggressive pulling of the punch. You don't want to laugh it off with a smile :), or make it seem too nasty with a frown :( . This is the look of our mothers when we have disappointed. The look of our spouses when we did again what we promised we wouldn't do again. The look of the concerned citizen bemoaning newcomers to his neighborhood and the threat of Hummers to all virtuous things.
Get in line with ragamuffin and get on a bike.
Well. I must say I appreciate the new site traffic to my myspace page over all this :)
This was definitely not my "find," but certainly entertaining, and we definitely have note-leavers such as the above on our street as well.
And shameless plug: my myspace page is kinda just for fun, I'm not really a solo artist, but I am in a pretty serious band (Common Shiner--check 'em out).
peace&love to the finders of all sorts,
and to the too-many Mike Brooks',
- Brooks 2
I feel that the found items should be just that.
Not items that are left for you. Not notes that people have left (Even if you don't know that person and you parked like an asshole!).
I think you should stumble upon your finds and then give to Found Magazine. It's not very interesting reading the note and then finding out that the finder is the recipient....there's no mystery...nothing to interpret.
The fun of found is to let your ideas run wild and your imagination create crazy, insane or far fetched ideas about how it came to be.
Jason,
Could we see the otherside? I think that would be more interesting...
Jason, I second Winston's request, and would just like to add "thanks, and we love youuuu..!"
And I love what SO CLEVER said about :-| being the disapproving look of our mothers.. of course, accompanied by the phrase.. "we are NOT amused...!"
:-| Have a Day.
Growing up, my family refered to the :-| look as "small mouth", as in "Mom gave me the small mouth after I told her about the dent in the fender."
Captain: you have such a valid point. Nobody can really tell who parked first and who left first. Also, I liked the "i have no time for the big city" line. it made me chuckle since i check found every few days or so. I checked it 2 days ago and read the ones before it that i had missed. I grinned when i read the post it note. I recently moved back to texas from new york. i, too, have very little time for the big city.
p.s. people should stop whining about the 45 divided by 3 question. if you don't automatically know it's 15, then i don't know what to tell you.
Damn, Jason, in the world according to Pepper, you know EVERYBODY!!!
Sweet Home, Chicago.
I think my brother in law wrote this note. It looks like his handwriting and he lives in suburban Chicago. He totally would have said something like this: not cussing, not threatening, not really angry sounding, just trying to educate the world one passive aggressive note at a time.
I’ll betcha 5 bucks the drawing on the back is a diagram showing the proper way to parallel park. Whaddya say, Real Mike Brooks? Am I right? Great Find, by the way!
P.S. I love the irony of the word "parking" squeezed in between "overall spaces". Lmao! That addition would've been suggested just for clarification purposes by my sister, who surely handed him the pen and paper to write the note.
@So clever, your employment at a recycling center JUST for the Finds would only cheapen them if you SOLD them to Found Magazine!
I'm not knocking that kind of work at all whatsoever, but it seems it would cheapen your intellect and education, don't you think? (I know you were being sarcastic.) 8-)
Name Withheld in Undisclosed Location,
He knows everybody that gets their find posted on here, cause he gets to choose.
Nightingale, that 'PARKING' is just like an Italian driver trying to squeeze his Fiat 500 into a too small space!
(boink -- ding -- honk -- Italian swear word)
Otherwise - parking notes = boring :-(
Grammar note btw:
LESS space (singular)
FEWER spaces (plural)
I thank you.
@Turbo in the Thunderdome- thanks for the Footos comment, made my day. I needed a good chuckle :)
spam question was: do you see a doctor or a dentist for a toothache? answer: aren't dentists doctors? (didn't work)
Jonathan, bless you for the grammar note. That is one of my major pet peeves and a very common grammatical error.
@Jonathan, love your description of an Italian parking!! Sound effect and all 8D
@Clever, Ahhh darn, I wanted to be the first to mention: www.youparklikelikeanasshole.com.
@Smallbear: happy (now belated) bday. Sorry to steal your thunder.
In Spain the only reason you would get a nasty parking note would be for NOT leaving the handbrake off. I have seen more than one, saying things like "Leave it FREE, you idiot!" or words to that effect. Park where you want, we all know there's not enough space for car population, just make sure we can move it!
@ Clever, no need to apologize,it's my own fault for not posting sooner.:-)Thanks for the B'day greetings, I'm celebrating all weekend so they are not truly late.
Yeah in hot water and not so clever,
That's what I was gonna say!
Happy belated birthday, Smallbear!
okay.. so after getting up early for my Found fix before work yesterday, and after pondering parking in general(something I rarely think about, parking being a very minor problem in my little city) I drove to work, arriving a tad bit before the opening bell.. to discover an evil parker in the parking lot where I work. I have never seen this. Someone with a humongous evil black 4-wheel-drive pickup truck had parked in such a way as to take up two spaces. He had a "BAD BOYS" stencil in his back window. I was tempted to leave a note saying, "go to foundmagazine.com for free parking advice" but that vehicle was too too scary. And it is hypothetically owned by someone I work with; this was the employee parking lot.
If there is a 1.5 car space:
a) pull to the front so that if the car behind you leaves and there is space behind him it leaves two spaces.
b) opposite of a
c) pull to the middle so that if either car leaves exactly one space is left.
d) it doesn't matter because a 1.5 sized space means that 2 cars can't fit in that space, but c is worse than a or b in the long run because it will never turn 1.5 spaces into 2.
Secondly, unless you have been watching cars come and go all day, the chances that you know which person parked badly thus leaving a half a space and whether that was a good or bad choice is nil. Move out of the city, direct traffic all day, or refrain from PA notes that reflect your ignorance of how parking in the city operates.
wow, it's insane how many people leave angry parking notes on/near people's cars these days.
this just reminded me of i note i left someone while i was in high school. my friends and i were in a parking garage and couldnt find a spot anywhere and there was a giant suv in a spot that was clearly marked "compact cars only". i thought i was beyond hysterical and left them a note that said you are not a small car.
So I saw this note and thought of the guy my sister and her friend used to live with. He would leave little passive aggressive note like this all of the time. I remember one time he drew a diagram of how they should park int hte garage. He was an asshole, which is why they moved. I really think he wrote this. The hand writing even looks like his handwriting, plus he goes to Chicago like evey other weekend. So funny!
I once had to park outside an Italian hotel late at night, in an unfamiliar rental car, in a car park which was basically a patch of mud on top of a cliff with no guard rails or anything. I managed to squeeze into the one remaining space at the edge of the car park without falling off the cliff or touching any other cars. So I was not amused to find a note on the car the next day (in English) saying 'PLEASE PARK MORE CONSIDERATELY IN FUTURE'. Pah!! Wish they'd left their handbrake off, then their car might have 'accidentally' rolled off the cliff, oops.
I remember when I was a kid, my mother found a card under our windshield. It had a picture of mickey mouse shooting a bird and said "F@#k you! Thanks for parking so close, next time leave a can opener so I can get my car out."