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July 10, 2008 |
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What I Value in a Partner
FOUND by Eric Keenleyside
in Ladner, British Columbia, Canada
I found this list on top of a baby change table in the women's washroom at a drop-in play group.
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No Water July 17, 2005 |
Roadside Picnic August 27, 2005 |
Gentleman's Agreement March 13, 2005 |
The Wired Stocker September 04, 2005 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
A chance to be first, but nothing to say. All I can do is snicker.
My favorites on the list are "built for speed" (as in "designed in a wind tunnel"?) and "sense of ha-ha" (I may hafta start using that phrase!).
It's not clear what a manogoma is, but it sounds useful.
She must have crossed off big dick as she realised that this would effect his aerodynamic proportions. A massive schlong flapping about would definitely hamper speed.
it may slow the speed slightly but add so much stability, not financially but still,
After sixteen plus years of marriage I can add a few things...
Someone who picks up his own underwear off of the floor...
Someone who helps with dishes or takes out the trash once in a while...
Someone who doesn't fart in bed...
In Your Dreams
I do not fart. I scrub the toilet.
I don't sing out loud
before it's time to wake you up.
I'm the man you hoped I'd be.
I remember to pick up Chinese and
forget what you said about Ginsberg.
You know I can be trusted.
You don't have to pry it out of me:
you know you're the girl of my dreams.
I thought this was a man's "partner" wish list, until Eric told us he was in the "women's washroom." What was Eric doing in the women's washroom?
perhaps Eric is the housekeeping staff?
I went to some sort of positive thinking workshop, and it said, that while you're supposed to list the negatives, its only to determine what the things are that you want. Whatever you spend energy on, the universe will bring you.
manogamous ... hmmm
phil and ander would be good names for boy twins.
managoma=monogamous? magnanamous?
"sense of ha ha" made me cringe and think of someone who likes "Garfield"
Also, not "short" that's just mean. Methinks if you are at a Mommy-and-me playgroup (ie single mom) you should focus on getting a good guy, and not wether he is "built for speed"(?)or tall enough. Good call on crossing out the "Big Dick." Who needs that, you already got (at least) one kid.
What my partner values in me:
no obsesion with speling
Good call on figuring out managamas= monogamous. That's definitely it but I had no idea.
It's funny that a person who would list things like "big dick" and "wimpy" decided to try to spell out "philanderer." Rather than "cheats on me."
Maybe it's not a single mom leaving it at a daycare center, perhaps it's a lonely, single employee, daydreaming about Mr. Right while her young charges are enjoying naptime...
Spam protection: rock, paper, ______
How the hell do you spell scissors?
Glad she crossed that one out. I'm still in the running!!!!!
After reading these comments, I realize that manogomas is supposed to be monogamous, but I thought they were trying to spell magnanimous. Which is an interesting trait to look for in a potential mate.
I'm built for comfort, I ain't built for speed.
Wow, I'm glad someone figured out what that was supposed to be.. I was seeing "man gomas", and couldn't come up with a thing.
@ Effie and fuzzy monkey, ya'lls made me laugh out loud.
Thanks!
I was thinking Man gomas was something to do with big ole boobies... but ...?? Yes, he must be devoted to my bazoombahs.
Alrighty then. Effie's comment made me snort java monster out my nose. seriously.
I'm confused...
Why would you want your man to have manogomas, when that is a serious form of cancer?
- and -
What is wrong with being a philander which means someone who collects stamps?
You're not so great yourself, Sweetie!
Damn you, Alan, for beating me to the philately line.
For the record:
1) everyone farts in bed, but not everyone holds the covers over your head afterwards.
2) if it were me, I would have crossed out "dancer" and left in "big dick".
I wonder if it would be ok if he was a philadendron? They're tall, aren't they?
I definitely want the sense of ha ha (That one made me LOL)
Why cross out the big dick?
What did she cross out after the word 'victim'...it almost looks like a $
Maybe being a philander isn't that bad.
Short??? Big Dick??? Come on...What do you think?? You're gonna' get someone as perfect as an Adonnis?
That's why she's still single....
Apparently this woman wasn't as particlar when it came to "What I Value in a Baby Daddy"
Maybe she put "Big Dick" on that list
I've known a few women with this handwriting and they are all serious control freaks! Especlally if they write in ALL CAPITALS.
Maybe HE won't want a self-absorbed manipulator and controller? She better start going to Mona's course about positive thinking.
Or perhaps she's actually having doubts about her present partner and trying to rationalise them before she kicks him out.
(I don't see 'love of children' or even 'animals' on her wish list btw!)
How about --
You can't specify the features in a mate that are going to 'click', so approach everyone with an open mind. However 'right' the person is, some compromises are bound to be required. Go with the flow, be happy and secure in yourself, have fun with whatever and whoever turns up.
I think she used to date a wimpy, vertically challenged, less well-endowed guy named Phil Anderson but forgot the 'son'
By the way, the etymology of 'philander' is Lover (philo) of Men (andro) which might not be what this straight woman is looking for.
Find a person who loves you for exactly who you are. good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome what have you. The right person will still think the sun shines out your ass, thats the kind of person thats worth sticking with
people with sun shining out their asses should not eat beans.
Why do I get the feeling that if this were a man's list about his ideal partner and "big tits" or "shapely ass" were on the list (even crossed off) it would be a source of controversy?
Hmmm... Dennis Rodman's dad is named Philander (and apparently he is one, too).
Why did they scratch out big dick.
Matt is right.
And I'm not sure that a 'big dick' and 'built for speed' is a great combo. If I had to choose to be one of the two, 'built for speed' would not be anywhere close to that list. I didn't think women liked the 'speedy' guys.
@Farmer--I really liked that! At the risk of sounding ignorant, did you compose that? It's very touching with the right blend of humor and tenderness.
I think this note was written by a younger woman (early 20's) who naively thinks that she will find a man with all 16 qualities on her list. At least she crossed out "big dick", because, yeah, that's REALLY important in a lasting relationship. If you happen to GET a big dick along with about 5 other items on the "wants" list (integrity, sincerity, supportive, communication, and sense of ha-ha), then you are really lucky! I know I am.:)
Her list of what she doesn't want has 8 items on it. I propose that the older she gets, the "wants" list will become shorter and the "doesn't want" list becomes longer. Unless she finds Adonis (thanks, Holly!) before then.
should have replaced the "big dick" with "oral pleasure"
If this woman finds a man with these desired traits, she will ultimately emasculate him. Stay away, guys. Stay away.
You want him to be 'secure in his masculinity' after you've scratched off his 'big dick'. Kind of asking a lot isn't it?
Is "BUILT FOR SPEED" a euphemism for "not fat"?
What I Value in a Partner:
Steady Employment and Bonus Own Transportation....And I wouldn't have scratched out Big Dick
Basically, she just wants a man who is perfect. Is that so much to ask? A man with all good qualities and no bad qualities whatsoever. A manly man's man who lives up to her every expectation.
If he is too great a dancer sweetie..you probably won't be his type if you know what I mean I would have kept big dick over good dancer
At one (low) point in my life, my list was pared down to:
Has a job
Has a telephone
Has a driver's license
(I've since given up . . . on lists.)
forgot to list in the "don't want" column:
*mama's boy. (He's just lookin' for another mama.)
*substance abuser. (she's young. she probably doesn't know that yet.)
*chauvanistic, mysogynistic
Is there a distinction between "things I value" and "Things I want" or "things I look for"?
For some reason, I pictured the writer as having a conversation with her best friend about how she picks shitty men. Her friend suggests she get out a piece of paper and really evaluate what she wants. She writes down the first two, and while trying to think of something else important, just swings that big dick out there to get a chuckle out of her friend.
lol @ turbo.. just swings that big dick out there. Is that what you do when you want to get a laugh?
For some reason, I can't get it out of my head that "built for speed" is a euphemism for "circumcised."
No worries, MLM!!!
@ JONATHAN- Excellent outlook, sweetie!
And finally, MONA...I'm laughing, uncontrolably<-sp? aloud!!!!!
What's really scary is that the handwriting looks EXACTLY like my Dad's.
brainproblem, there are lots of places you can go to get counselling when you find out your dad is homosexual. (not that there's anything wrong with that)
@ thinking... now that you mention that, i think the same thing. (although i can't see how a foreskin could slow you down)
@Holly, tell me you didn't read turbo's comment the same way? I spit coffee out my nose when i read his post. I think, from reading the posts of various Found readers, that you could probably tell a Foundian by the coffee spray marks on their computer monitors.
As a newly divorced single mom, my list is a little different...
Must haves:
a job
good teeth
a basic ability to survive on thier own
Must not:
be an asshole
..oh and be good to the kids...of course...but the above list is just for me stuff, and I should include *likes me* as a must have, too!
@The Juice: "Likes me"? Are you desperate or something?!
I meant to say, "Don't be so picky!!" but really screwed up the joke. Sorry, Juice.
After my first spouse left, my list was very short:
str8
As a tall lady myself, I once dated a guy who was significantly shorter than me. I didn't have a problem with it, but *he* did, and it made things miserable after a while. If we asked someone to take our picture, he had to be up on a curb or I had to be sitting down. He would style his hair up high, and get offended if I wore shoes that had any heel to them at all. So, while I think this is an unrealistic list, I defend the lady's right to ask for a guy who isn't shorter than her.
My list includes 'pulse' and 'respiration.'
@ Effie: HAHHAHAHAHHAAAA. Love it.
I'm still confused... how is one built for speed anyways and wouldn't that impede his monogamy? The crossed off big dick made my day... and how it is in the top 3 but financially stable is almost at the bottom... must be too young to realize how miserable a partner with no job is... even with a big dick and great dancing skills
sorry but
short guys + crossed out item = <3
My Great-Uncle Horsecock's untimely demise came about as a result of the immense size of his member. Being one day at the top of a tower, he espied an exceedingly comely maiden passing beneath him, and in his state of excitation his manhood grew so large that he became unbalanced and fell to his death.
So, dear readers, a Big Dick is not always a blessing.
Though perhaps his small feet were to blame.
She should have put small dick under the what I don't want column.
My husband is shorter than me. I've worn a pair of wedge sandals, I'd really like too though.
..and I mean I have never worn wedge sandals.
How is it that Big Dick got onto the same list as integrity, sensual, supportive and the like? Shallow!
For the sake of starting a polemical discussion I'm going to argue that, -(and I fully believe), - size has absolutely NOTHING to do with making a woman feel GOOD. (I see some of the less endowed men smiling at present.)
I'd take a man with valuable traits over a Big Dick any day...plus that just means that a lady can teach him how to overcompensate in other ways. ( Ahem.)
Size does count if we're talking about his bank account.
I have a little brother named Adonis she might be happy with... Too bad he's the same age as my youngest child.
MONA- I did read TURBO'S post the same way you did, darlin!!! Hahahahaha!!
I also agree with other Foundians monitors having *nose-sprayed* liquids all over them!!!
@ ME IN SOMEWHERE- Absolutely, positively correct!!!
The quote about the sun shining out of your ass if from the movie Juno
Just thought I would point that out
Kayla: where (what?) is osh?
Haha. After my last break up I had a quick checklist when any of my friends would suggest a guy to me...
*Drivers License
*Job
*Bank account
If he had those three things he was already 3 steps ahead of the last one and therefore deserved at least a chance!!
@Kayla in osh: The quote about the sun shining out of your ass was in common use long before the movie Juno was released.
Just thought I would point that out.
BUILT FOR SPEED!!!
this is FUNNY.
i wonder why she crossed out 'big dick'?
i love a 'sense of ha ha' too. it's probably my favorite quality in any person. that didn't sound right. oh well. you know what i mean