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September 24, 2008 |
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Doritos Will Help
FOUND by Sarah
in West Warwick, RI
I love this. I found it in the front lobby after school one day. I read it out loud to my friends and we were just entirely perplexed as to which high school student would write this. I especially like the cross-out of "lock" and the two lines through the 'cent' symbol.
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
plez tell me this is a joke or that the note wuz found near the special ed class.
I like that they can spell "Doritos" correctly, but not "key."
This has to be an in-joke, given that the "ransom" is "2 dollars and 6 cents" (including sales tax!) and that "Doritos will help you!" Obviously someone wants junk-food money. You can't just drop money outside a locker and expect it to stay there...the "victim" is obviously paying off a friend in person.
When literate people try to pretend to be ignorant in writing, they do tend to misspell simple words and yet get the hard ones right. It's a classic clue in 1930's mystery movies.
Aw, c'mon...28 * 15 at this hour of the morning?
This type of extortion has been going on in schools as long as there have been lockers and snack treats. Probably longer, actually.
When kids come to my door selling things as a fundraiser for their school, club, or whatever, I write "Extortion" in the memo block of the check. Actually I only write it on the carbonless duplicate because I don't have the guts to write it on the actual check.
Ahahaha! This has got to be a joke between 2 friends...
Cute, but the writing...erm printing in high school?? That's the REAL question.
Kids don't know how to wirte cursive anymore. It is barely taught in schools because they are too busy craming them full of the stuff they need to pass standardized tests so "no child will be left behind." Some kids have a bit of a hybrid script-printing but Miss Kittles penmanship books are out.
Same Sarah from West Warwick as yesterday???
Same one!! Sarah is quite the lucky girl...2 FINDS in 2 consecutive days? WOW!
She even stated that she had FOUND the first FIND along with another one...so, I'm presumming this is it?!
I believe she posted on her FIND yesterday, too.
The authorities will NEVER be able to track down the perpetrator of this fiendish kee-napping. I mean, think about it, how many Locker 384s must there be in that one school? Oh, wait a minute ... I think I sense a glitch in the plan.
Also, I don't think it shows poor spelling as much as what happens when someone used to texting tries to communicate on paper.
I like geek's use of the term " snack treats". Anybody want a snack treat?
Years ago I took a chair from a co-worker's office. Throughout the next month I left ransom notes in her office, under the windshield of her car, in her lunch bag, or wherever else I could think of.
At the end of the month, the chair mysteriously showed back up in her office, along with a framed collage of photos showing all the places her chair had been during its month-long adventure: sitting in the middle of a highway, in the top of a tree, in a cafe at the museum of history, on the steps of the state capital and at the front gate of the governor's mansion.
I'll never forget what a pain it was to carry the chair all around the city to take the pictures. The security guards at the governor's mansion probably haven't forgotten me either.
Pastor Z...
You are seriously cool!
@ Pastor Z ... but did you get the ransom paid to you?
I also found it funny that the author can spell "doritos" and the word "again" (which I had trouble spelling for the longest time) but the word "you" and the word "key" are the difficult words.
I thought it said "if you want to see your ROCK.."
so at first I thought the perp was stealing the little fake, hollowed out rock in which someone had hidden their house key, then thought better of it, and only kidnapped the key. (then later I thought Hockeu 384 was some sort of address... glad that's all cleared up.
messygirl in Boston, you might be delighted to know that in the elementary school in which my young'uns are enrolled, they are, indeed, learning cursive (well. the Kindergartener is learning DeNelian, the older one cursive) and their handwriting is coming along beautifully. (of course they're also being cram packed with that standardized testing bullshit, computer lab, and hooray for this little village, they actually still have Art class AND Music, unlike the big city school we moved from last year! woo hoo!)
A ransom note seems so much more sophisticated than holding a kid upside-down by his ankles and shaking him while waiting for his lunch money to fall out of his pockets...
Interesting...Pastor Z is really Jim Halpert.
About the Find: Doritos, although tasty, especially the Naco Cheese variety, never did anyone any favors. I mean, it's not like they're HoHo's.
I wonder if runn 'in late lives where I live? My kids also learned D'nealian. I'm pretty sure that they still teach cursive everywhere, maybe some people stop using it after a time, but I'm pretty sure that's their own fault then, not the education system's.
I think this find is hilarious. I had to keep the coffee from spewing out of my nose.
My guess, middle school-ish, using 'text' writing (as many kids use these days).
HAHAHA....Doritos will do for any ransom.
$2.06 is all the ransom was? Plus a bag of Doritos?
I'd say.."Keep the kee...I don't need my school books, anyway!"
@ Terrie
I know it's a shocker, but they don't teach kids how to write cursive anymore. Keyboarding skills are considered more valuable. My 14 yr. old son couldn't read the vacation postcard that his grandma sent him and it wasn't because her penmanship isn't impeccable. I want to teach him how to write, but he says it's "archaic".
what's denealian? d'nealian? whatever. Sounds like a religion where you worship Neal Patrick Harris.
I'd rather have a bag of m&m's
oh, and baby basil, as an herb yourself, you should know that the answer to 28*15 is the time for a different sort of herb.
This kid is never gonna get his Doritos. His locker number is actually 843; his brain is just too fried on MSG and WTF to keep simple details like that straight.
The kid at locker 384 is gonna be pretty psyched to get a free, mysterious snack treat.
Mona, it's a style of handwriting.
Really in Truly, I am shocked, I can see how keyboarding is viewed as more valuable. I don't think cursive is outdated and should still be taught. But I do know quite a few people who can't read or write in cursive, though I know they learned it.
Personally, when I write notes, I print. When I write letters or when I write things for myself to read, I use cursive. My print is not nearly as nice as my cursive.
This note is indicative of so many young people of today; they have text-mess. "language", and are somehow dropping their ability to write the word "you".
Perhaps an English teacher should have been waiting at locker 384 for a basic spelling lesson?
Pastor Z has seen Amelie.
I'm not Jim, but I AM Polish.
The ransom I demanded for the chair was cruel and inhumane. The victim was a graduate of Duke University, so the note demanded that she post notices around the office expressing her love for Dean Smith. coach of the University of North Carolina Tarheels (this will only make any sense to those familiar with NCAA Basketball). She later told me that meeting those demands was about the worst thing she ever had to do.
I, personally, write in a print-cursive hybrid. I guess it's just something I taught myself along the way for the sake of expediency. Oh, I learned proper cursive, but I guess I grew out of it.
Taco flavored Doritos and Pace Picante sauce is just about the best snack EVER!
money and doritos...a great ransom! maybe he/she should've asked for a drink as well in case he/she gets thirsty after eating the doritos. OR MAYBE...
that's what the money is for! so he/she can go and choose what they want to drink.
inflation, indeed! gone are the days when kids just yell "I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!"
Yuo know what I mean?
Pastor Z - HAHA! you should post those pics on the internet with the story and become the next famous blogger :P
I'm in my last year of school, and they only teach handwriting in primary school over here, mine's terrible - it's like my hand wants to slant, but my inner modernist is telling me to go straight xD I've been trying to improve it more recently, but it's hard to kick old habits...
I love how the author of this note spells "you" wrong but can spell "leave" and "doritos"
Sarasara, that's one of my hubby's favorite movies!
(isn't it funny how the spam answer is 420 and the subject matter is Doritos?)
I picture the author of this note as a greedy bum in training. I mean, come on, what's the $2.06 to buy? Probably just another bag of Doritos then he/she has gall to ask for another bag if the extorted wants extra "help." Please, that's just like an alcoholic on the corner asking for money for "food" then having the gall to ask for a beer outta that six pack you're carrying home. Soon Jr. High Extornionist here will be adding extra zeros to that $2.06 and trading in locker keys for car jacking with baby still in the back - just trading one addiction fer another. Today Doritos, tomorrow the rock.
i bet it was my boyfriend that wrote this note, he loves cool ranch doritos and to him it would be a worthy ransom.
ACTUALLY ... the second line of this Find is the single word "turkee" [yes, yes, with the 'rock' crossed out in the middle]. But look at the remaining letters: t ur kee.
I'm also thinking that the "Dorito's" [note the apostrophe] is to give help to the person who wants more turkee (give her power, stamina, and so on), and has nothing to do with any ransom.
Either that, or "Dorito's" is someone's nickname.
Or maybe the rest of you are right, and the writer can't spell standard English. I can't decide.
so wrong on so many levels.....
Although, I do remember my friend and I kidnapped a Gumby figurine out of a friend's car and had a great time leaving random, poorly-crafted, ransom notes. Aahhh...those were the days of very little conscience.
I forgot to mention the kidnapping took place over 20 years ago and I have really grown as a person since then. My positive affirmation - " I do care about other people's Gumby dolls "
Mona, the religion where you worship Neal Patrick Harris is called "Doogie Howserism."
Just wanted to add my $2.06 worth.
I can't tell my kidnapping story until the statute of limitations has timed out.
HA! Pastor Z! I love Dean.. and Roy!
The Hoho sisters were used to being called many things:sweetandsquashy, choco crack and worst of all: whores. They were all of these. Having been born twins who were chocolate cupcake-like snack treats and having the misfortune to be born in a town filled mostly with families of Doritos, teasing and down right hostility was their birthright.
Then one day they decided to get their revenge. A plan was hatched, like a giant prehistoric bird out of an equally giant eggshell. This plan involved kidnapping an office chair from a big shot local Dorito named Pastor Z who's kids had been tormenting the hoho sisters for years. Ever since the cylindrical snack treats had barely come out of the oven. Now Pastor Z was a really sneaky snack chip and had in fact been a "client" of the older of the two Hohos, since said Hoho was barely 14. (But that was a secret,to all but the Pastor and the Hoho.)
Anyway, Pastor Z was a priest of the Denealian religion and often spent hours practicing his fancy scripted letters over and over on cheap paper until his hand nearly fell off, in order to become closer to his god, Doogie (neal patrick harris)Howser in full Catholic school nun drag. So one day while said pastor was engaged in such practice the Hoho sisters stole the chair right out from under his 45 degree angle bum and sent him a oddly phrased, badly spelled, and not being DeNealians, hard to read note.
The Hoho family mysteriously moved soon after that to spread their creamy goodness to other snack cakes and bright orange chips in another town.
I teach D'Nealian handwriting to my 2nd grade students. The printing of D'Nealian letters has the little tails at the end to help kids more easily transition into cursive later on. You can google it and see examples...if you care! :o)
I'mma start finishing all my sentences and notes to others with "Doritos will help u!", particularly ransom notes that have not successfully proved to be fruitful.
Yes, indeed, same Sarah. I feel bad! When I got the email I said to myself, "Are they just reminding me from yesterday?!" Maybe it's because when I find things I usually wait until I have more than one so I can just scan them all at one time. Hmmm...
Anyway, I had forgotten that I found this. Holy crap, it's still hysterical. Oh, and it was found where the Juniors' lockers usually are (not near the Special Education rooms). And with my high school (well, former high school)? The bad spelling doesn't really surprise me. I think whoever wrote it was probably trying their best... XP
Ooh!! Ooh!! Alan, can I tell it?
The lack of cursive script in this note is the least of my worries about this individual's writing skills. There are also spelling mishaps and punctuation violations. Apostrophe abuse is the worst. I was all ready to laugh this one off until I saw the apostrophe in Doritos.
This thread brought back memories of my university days, when my stuffed seal was stolen during the Iran hostage crisis. It appeared locked in the fire extinguisher box with a blue felt bag over its head and a sign: "SEAL HELD HOSTAGE: Day 1". The numbers changed each day, even at weekends. I never caught anyone opening the cabinet. We thought maybe it was the janitor of the dorm, an otherwise kindly and unassuming older man who was a sort of surrogate grandfather to everyone in the building.
We left cookies, cupcakes and other treats in his office as propitiation, but the "hostage situation" lasted until after Christmas break, when the seal was suddenly freed and reappeared in my room in the middle of the afternoon when I came in from class. The kidnapper was ever revealed.
@Baby basil Hope you learned to always be kind to the janitors! If you aren't, you'll probably regret it, sooner or later. :)
doritos and $2.06, hahaha...i love the randomness in the dollar amount. i can just see the poor guy that lost his KEE..."DAMN...i'm short 6 cents..."
The last time someone said, "Doritos will help you," I was completely wasted at a party at 2 AM, getting ready to ride home with my boyfriend where my mother was up waiting for me. I thought it would help me get sober...but...it just helped me puke. Which made me feel a hell of a lot better anyway. Luckily, I got home and mom's van was gone. She was around the road at my grandmother's. I don't know if the Dorito Magic was what helped me out that night or not, but I've loved the taste of Vodka and Doritos ever since.