July 21, 2008

5 Free Things
FOUND by E! in Santa Barbara, California
I found this on State Street in the downtown area. It was sitting in one of those fire hose hydrant alternative nozzles on a movie theatre building. It was written on the back of an advertisment for a life skills planning guide.
Just me in my house
Hmmm. I sense sarcasm.
+ July 21, 2008 01:08 AM +
Blaze in KS
That is very . . . Life In Hell, a la Matt Groening.

GREAT find.
+ July 21, 2008 01:51 AM +
Puckhog in life skills 101
The writer should have rounded it out to 7 things and included the root causes... Laziness and Stupidity.

+ July 21, 2008 02:22 AM +
Gloria in excelsis deo
I used to live in Santa Barbara. None of those things are actually free there. It's an expensive place!
+ July 21, 2008 02:29 AM +
orinoco womble in wimbledon burrow
Laziness and Stupidity are not the exclusive causes of these things. "Downsizing" by execs who have spent the employees' pension funds on their own luxury lifestyles can cause retired workers to be penniless and homeless after working 65+ years, 40+ hours a week. Poverty and homelessness certainly can and do cause loneliness and death.

Puckhog, you're waaay out of line on this one. I hope you never find yourself in the situation of so many senior citizens in today's America--no pension, no healthcare, no one cares.

Can you spell "compassion"?
+ July 21, 2008 04:58 AM +
Librarian in the woodwork
Hey, maybe they don't cost YOU anything, but they cost me plenty in taxes, tithes, and time. (Not that I'm complaining.)
+ July 21, 2008 05:22 AM +
lars in all my forms in the nwc?
i'd say there's a price for all of these.

let's not be all crotchety on each other today, huh?
+ July 21, 2008 05:26 AM +
CarlaSue, looking doubtful in Indiana
I always thought the best things in life are free. I'm kinda rethinking that now.
+ July 21, 2008 05:35 AM +
Nay-sayer in the bleachers
womble, you're the one that's waay out of line on this one. America's social security program, which may be broke one day, isn't broke right now. The only excuse for anyone being penniless and with no healthcare is because they have chosen to live under a rock. We f'ing give healthcare and money to people that aren't even citizens!

Go visit your granny, take her out to eat and quit your socialist sniveling.

+ July 21, 2008 06:10 AM +
Lee in Philly
On the brighter side, that parking lot they set up in Santa Barbara so that homeless people with cars have somewhere to sleep is free. Oh, and the beach is free. And looking at the sand sculpture of the soldier that one veteran guy does everyday is also free.

Housing in Santa Barbara, however, is decidedly not free.
+ July 21, 2008 06:17 AM +
Agent Ling Hi in the Orient Express
Library books are free if you return them on time.
+ July 21, 2008 06:53 AM +
some chick in an avant garde, free improvising, experimental rock music group from Britain
.."the best things in life are free.
but you can give them to the birds and bees.
I want MONEY.. that's what I want."

Puckhog's comment might have been harsh, critical and cynical, but I wouldn't say he's waaay out of line. This is the Found Magazine comment board. This is the birthplace (well, maybe) of panty crickets and other such delightful concepts. It's okay to be harsh, critical and cynical. Even Judgenmental.

Erleichda.
+ July 21, 2008 06:59 AM +
Night in gale
Foundmagazine.com is free!

Nice Find E!
+ July 21, 2008 07:03 AM +
mona lisa in counting her blessings
opinions are free, too.
so is sunshine, and rain. and snow.
+ July 21, 2008 07:06 AM +
Lance Pants in a trance
Ms Lars, it's ok to be crotch-ity with me any old day.
+ July 21, 2008 07:10 AM +
Farmer in In The Dell
Our local garage still gives away free air for your tires, and several of my friends have frost-free freezers. My bank offers hassle-free checking accounts, and the organic section at the supermarket sells free-range chickens. Freedom's everywhere; Let Freedom Ring!!!
+ July 21, 2008 07:13 AM +
Child in time
it's the good things that are free - that find's author seems to have traded his sense of humour and will to live for ab wee speck of cynicism and up to four of the items on the list - if not by now the final one, too...

could have done so much better it seems.
NEVER TRADE SMILING FOR ONE OF THESE "FREE" THINGS.
i for one live in a place with an excessive social security system- if you're down on your luck you may still eat and sleep in a safe place, and you'll still get basic medical care and even a bit of money. i'm glad this system exists, find it fair that everyone chips in from their tax money. but someone getting bitter over a situation that one's too scared/lazy/stupid to change makes me laugh, even if the laugh is just for venting a bit of the anger.
being given chances that in other places many people don't ever even dream of, and giving tese chances away just for being able to get sulky about one's life, one may just not be fit to live.. waste of life. compassion is too f/$((ng easily given. no quarter for nihilists.
+ July 21, 2008 07:19 AM +
lars in all my forms in the nwc?
@ lance: you get around. but i'm glad to be on your short list. or is that a long list?
+ July 21, 2008 07:30 AM +
Thank you from all of us in the Atlantic surf
Don't forget persecution! And low self esteem! Emotions are free! And shame and guilt. Guilt free.
+ July 21, 2008 08:05 AM +
just dancin' and singin in the rain
Everybody's free, everybody's free, everybody's free
Everybody's free, everybody's free, to feel good, to feel good
+ July 21, 2008 08:22 AM +
Sammy Davis Junior Jr in a bummer mood
I would say that sometimes death is not free (depends how one dies)

masturbation is free
+ July 21, 2008 08:54 AM +
nadine in a quiet place
A few more free things in life:
Compassion
Hope
Love
+ July 21, 2008 09:00 AM +
fooch in the happiest place on earth
I remember a few years ago I was in Berkeley and went inside the huge public library. I went through the computer area and saw most every computer being used by a homeless person (sorry, but they were easy to spot) and I thought,"How cool is that!" You can be homeless and still have an email address.

And, true-that! Library books are free to borrow.

Oh, you some bread is wheat-free.
+ July 21, 2008 09:20 AM +
Lady Guinevere in Sir Lancelot 's chamber
"I guess I should say
This is all that I need
Music and you and the air that I breathe
+ July 21, 2008 09:38 AM +
Eva in in the garden considering the apple
The writer of this find is not, IMHO, having a good day, possibly not a good week or good year. Probably why they are considering the life planning skills class, and then riffing on the "free" things that can make life miserable (note that misery is not on the list), if they don't exercize those life skills.

+ July 21, 2008 09:38 AM +
Lolita in a fog, just waking up
Sammy Davis Junior,Jr, is that allowed on this blog?

Librarian, right on. I am wondering how many of the 'regulars' with those kind of signs I see around the town I work in are making more money than me everyday.
Not that I am complaining, of course.
+ July 21, 2008 09:48 AM +
mona lisa in google land
lots of things are free, if you're a freegan. Cool article on telegraph.co.uk, if you're interested.

+ July 21, 2008 10:12 AM +
Clover in the sidewalk by the movie theater, suspiciously eyeing a fire hose hydrant alternative nozzle
If anyone's grumpy it's prolly cuz y'all didn't get enuff of your Found fixes over the weekend. It was pretty dang quiet. And there were a couple good finds, too. Perhaps you might wanna go back a couple of days. Get a found fix and get happy! Tra la la la la..
+ July 21, 2008 10:38 AM +
Clover in the fancy-dancy library
In my town it's not free to check out library books. You have to show proof that you live within the city limits to get a library card, and that's NOT free. If you don't live in the city limits, you have to pay a fee to use the library. It is free to hang out inside and read the books off the shelves, though.
+ July 21, 2008 10:41 AM +
Feeling in coherent
Death isn't free. Ask a mortician.

Air! Air is free!! No Charge!!!
+ July 21, 2008 10:42 AM +
Delonghi model CT12 in another time, another place.
Sammy Davis Jr Jr.. Masturbation may be free, but not always GUILT free.. (especially for Catholics!) (is that why you're in a bummer mood?? LOL JK)

Fooch-- Oh Man, Berkely has one of the most AMAZING libraries! And that's the only city I've lived in (out of LOTS!) that makes getting computer access actually DO-able for the homeless. Everyone else sticks them in a catch .22 esque rigamarole.. no address, no library card. no library card, no computer. no temp. GFYS, basically.

In another town, another time, I mailed a postcard to each of three homeless people at MY address, so that they could show "proof of mailing address" and obtain library cards, use the computers and contact family members. It should not be so difficult to exist. (Scary Larry, hope you're happy, wherever you are.)
+ July 21, 2008 10:47 AM +
Effie in Oxfordshire
Well, according to the walker brothers, loneliness is a oat you wear, and if you are homeless, a good coat has got to be a must, so things are looking up already, coz he's got a free coat.
+ July 21, 2008 10:53 AM +
Effie in Oxfordshire
Or it could be a cloak, but that'd be handy too, coz then yoy could use it as a blanket as well.
+ July 21, 2008 10:54 AM +
Effie in Oxfordshire
and the first post should have said COAT not oat. though that'd be handy too, very filling are oats.
+ July 21, 2008 10:54 AM +
Feeling in coherent
If you wear oats, then "feeling your oats" could be considered obscene.
+ July 21, 2008 11:06 AM +
Jess in Lewes, England
you can actually get free food by going in to supermarket skips, they throw out a ridiculous amount of food that's in date. Music is free, at least, you can make music for free, just grab some cans and you're away! Of course, you can always download music for free, but shhhh...Hugs are free, so are kisses, though people might think you're a bit strange if you start kissing them randomly. Smiles are free, as are your parent's or sibling's old clothes. Ooh, and of course, the best one has to be sneaking a bag of sweets between two layers of popcorn when you're buying some at the cinema :D They never guess...
+ July 21, 2008 11:13 AM +
L
What about cake? Let them eat cake.
+ July 21, 2008 11:59 AM +
Jonathan in London, England, where there are FAR more homeless beggars than there used to be (I blame Mrs Thatcher)
'Unemployment' and 'Homelessness' are not free -- you have to earn them by having a job and a home to lose in the first place.

I'd guess this was a card propped up by a beggar next to his hat or begging bowl? Not that it would have persuaded me to hand anything over.

Once you realise that money doesn't really exist, the concept of 'free' ceases to have relevance. Things may have a cost or a value, but money is only a human invention for the transference of value.

It's possible to be penniless and happy. As Henry Miller said, once you hit rock bottom the only way is up. When you have nothing, you have nothing to lose.

In his case it evidently helped to have generous friends though.

(But someone said to me the other day, you're only four salary cheques away from the street...)
+ July 21, 2008 12:21 PM +
You might know me
Sadly, the cost of a couple of these things is one's dignity.

+ July 21, 2008 12:22 PM +
Micha in wardly smiling
Smiles are free... even at McDonalds
+ July 21, 2008 12:39 PM +
nadine, listen in g to Blondie
Dreaming is free
+ July 21, 2008 12:58 PM +
Librarian in the woodwork
@ Fooch ... in some parts of the U.S. (as in its urban areas) homeless folks are a huge part of the regular library clientele.

Sure, we got computers. We also got newspapers. And magazines. And brochures, leaflets, and pamphlets. We got free information of all kinds. And air conditioning in the summer, or heat during the winter. And bathrooms. Oh, and books.

Mostly, no questions asked (of the patron, that is ... reference librarians live to have someone ask a question of them). Just behave, more or less.
+ July 21, 2008 01:11 PM +
Feeling in coherent
I'M FREE- I'm free,
And freedom tastes of reality,
I'm free-I'm free,
AN' I'm waiting for you to follow me.

If I told you what it takes
to reach the highest high,
You'd laugh and say 'nothing's that simple'
But you've been told many times before
Messiahs pointed to the door
And no one had the guts to leave the temple!
+ July 21, 2008 01:24 PM +
Sarah in Boston
The person forgot walking on the beach. Sheesh...in Santa Barbara? How bad could things actually be.

http://sarahheartsdesign.blogspot.com/
+ July 21, 2008 01:46 PM +
Effie in Oxfordshire
@ Jess. Are you in Lewes in Sussex? I have a friend who lives just outside, in Cooksbridge. That's all, just allowing Real World and Internet a brief collision.
+ July 21, 2008 02:26 PM +
A Ghost in the Lost and Found sings:
"Find the cost of freedom buried in the ground.
Mother Earth will swallow you, lay your body down."

-Neil Young
+ July 21, 2008 03:31 PM +
Sammy Davis Junior Jr
@ Feeling...great Who song.

@Delonghi: bummer mood was from the beginning posts for this Find..a bit of a downer (no other reason..wink..wink)
+ July 21, 2008 05:58 PM +
kiki in Laquerta, MI
So a neutron walks into a bar...
+ July 21, 2008 06:00 PM +
Name Withheld in Undisclosed Location
@ Sammy.. hee hee.. I like how your post up there came right after "everybody's free to fell good, to feel good, to feel good..."

That's good stuff.
+ July 21, 2008 06:46 PM +
daniela sifting though stuff in here
let's not forget other freebies:

lice (yuck)
cable TV (if you have friends who know their way around cables)
a ride to wherever on a bike
dinner at your parents
+ July 21, 2008 09:32 PM +
daniela sifting though stuff in here
...and kudos to womble for your thoughts (and mine) on social security. Proud to be Canadian!

On the root causes of destitution: poverty and wealth are directly related. You can only be rich at the expense of someone else. Be you a country, a corporation or an individual...that's the only way anyone ever got rich (or poor) in the history of this planet.
+ July 21, 2008 09:37 PM +
Clover in a fit of giggles
Oh good. Everyone cheered up. That's better.

Effie - the coats and the oats - you're making me laugh!

Free Man!
http://www.foundmagazine.com/find/4074
+ July 21, 2008 10:29 PM +
Librarian in the woodwork
@ daniela ... There's no such thing as a free lunch; and there's no such thing as a free dinner with your parents.
+ July 22, 2008 08:13 AM +
Nay-sayer in the bleachers
@ daniela, I hope you live long enough and work hard enough and earn enough money that one day you will realize what a perverted idea socialism really is. Or if you choose to live off the public dole and not make anything of your self, stay the hell in Canada because I don't want my taxes going to support your lazy butt and any of your children.
+ July 22, 2008 09:45 AM +
Mr Humphries in the gents' clothing department
I'm free!
+ July 22, 2008 02:10 PM +
daniela sifting though stuff in here
@Librarian: free dinner with my parents does exist (as long as I don't include guilt and questions I don't want to answer, which I suppose means it's not free :)

@Nay-sayer: Well, I work my ass off, make a very good living and support my own. While I don't enjoy paying taxes, I do so with the full knowledge that the money is paying for recreation programs, health coverage and a multitude of other things. Unlike my counterparts south of the border, I don't pay a penny upfront when I go to the doctor or hospital, nor do I pay schooling costs for my daughter's excellent education. Cheers! Have a nice day.


+ July 22, 2008 04:21 PM +
Smallbear in the Cave
Everyone please ignore Naysayer, he or she was probably potty trained to early and that's why he or she is such a grumpy asswhole.
+ July 22, 2008 04:28 PM +
Puckhog in late rebuttal
O.W.,
Last time I checked, this forum wasn't "Politically Correct Found". It is just plain "Found". So don't worry I won't find myself in the situation you mentioned because...
1. I'm not stupid.
2. I'm not lazy.
3. I'm a good speller. (Which means not only can I spell "compassion" but I can also spell "knee-jerk reaction", "myopic" and "pontificating" as well.)
Maybe you are acquainted with some of these retired, penniless senior citizens that aren't stupid or lazy and due to your compassionate nature you feel the need to defend them. My hat is off to you.
However, this is no reason to accuse me of being "waaay out of line".
I'm not saying that I don't have compassion for the stupid or lazy folks whom I see writing these desperate signs with which they litter the streets(on many occasions I've given them money and/or clothing). I'm just saying that instead of being stupid and lazy and littering the streets with these stupid signs go out and wash a window, recycle some metal, pimp yourself out even but just quit fucking crying about how the world delt you shit for a hand of cards and at least fucking try to do something about it! I'm sick and tired of hearing stupid, lazy people blame everything that's wrong with their lives on everyone else and that the world owes them! What the hell is wrong with these people? Can't they figure out that if they put one foot in front of the other they can eventually go somewhere?
Whew! Now at least I feel comfortable with being called "waaay out of line".
+ July 22, 2008 04:54 PM +
Buckaroo Bonzai
"Hey, hey, hey. Don't be mean. We don't have to be mean because, remember, no matter where you go, there you are."
+ July 22, 2008 04:59 PM +
Terrie-Is-So-Very in totally-unique-ville
Hugs are free.



...unless the person you hug feels you up, in that case, not so much, but usually they're free.
+ July 22, 2008 05:45 PM +
Anna Nimity
Well then, here's a free hug for Puckhot.. I mean Puckhog.. sounds like he needs it.. (and I can almost promise I won't try and cop a feel.)
+ July 22, 2008 11:27 PM +
sick in tired
The republicans are out in force today...or is it just the summer heat that's driving up the drama quotient?

Who's pontificating now, puckhog? Not to mention emoting.

Yawn.
+ July 24, 2008 12:36 AM +
Puckhog in the left lane
Call me anything you want but don't call me a Republican.
+ July 24, 2008 11:50 AM +
Eric in North Dakota
TANSTAAFL, acronym to live by.
+ July 24, 2008 05:47 PM +
Jonathan in acronimity
Eric --

please explain!!

TTFN
+ July 25, 2008 05:31 AM +
Brak_Silverbone in back of beyond
@Jonathan: TANSTAAFL stands for "There ain't no such thing as a free lunch." Created (I think) by SF author Larry Niven.
+ July 25, 2008 11:53 PM +
Jess in Lewes, England
@ Effie - I should really check old finds more often! Yeah, I do live in Lewes, Sussex. I used to babysit for someone in Cooksbridge, and weirdly enough, one of my best friends is called Effie xD It's a small world!
+ October 29, 2008 10:05 AM +

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