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November 30, 2007 |
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Ted and Allyssa Note
FOUND by Natalie
in California
It seems Ted's heartfelt apology isn't enough to win back Allyssa... I especially love the little cartoons; Allyssa's crossed out his and drawn one of her own. Do you think she's stabbing him?
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Back to the Old Ways October 17, 2005 |
Don't Be So Hard... July 05, 2005 |
Pelvic Floor June 20, 2005 |
The Closer I Get to... May 03, 2006 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
I like how he isn't a partial ass. He's an asswhole. And the illustrations are a nice touch. A little harsh, though.
Is the rounded W in the invective a pun in the form of a clever rebus or is the "whole" thing a misspeling?
she's bitch slapping him. you go girl.
Allyssa has to be the coolest high-school girl ever. I wish I had known better than to take shit from boys at that age.
I believe it's just your average smack-down. You go, girl!!!!
I don't believe the rounded W was a clever rebus, because the other W is shaped the same way.... it's probably just a misspelling.
This is pretty much the best thing ever.
WDTD?
(what did ted do?)
I bet he went out with tiffani.
THAT WHORE.
sidenote- notice the handwriting tilting all over the place. Any handwriting analyists out there who could tell us if he really means it? (the ASSWHOLE comment, on the other hand, is pretty clear.)
p.s. wasn't there a recent lawsuit by a girl who sued her prom date when he ditched her at the last minute? I'm pretty sure she won. Completely different scenario, of course, but interesting, nonetheless...
I think yesterday's find began with "I'm sorry" too, didn't it?
i'm generally a pretty spot-on speller, but damned if i can figure out why i can't get "analysts" to look right. i'm totally certain there's no "i" in it (just like there's no "i" in team...blahblah)
Tom's handwriting looks pretty girly. And the same person drew the pictures, for sure.
Okay:
Ted passed this to Alyssa. She passed it back with the "What the hell do you think?" He passed it back with the drawing of her stabbing him in the heart, which I find very sad/sweet/emo of him. Then she wrote "ASSWHOLE."
Ted, you can do better. Call me. :P
I think the drawings were done by two different people... Ted's drawing, that Alyssa crossed out, depicts Alyssa as being somewhat more well endowed that her self portrait pic.
I think she is stabbing him in the back. Maybe he back stabbed her.
LOL! I love it. Gets the message across.
I'd give a cookie to know what he did. I've known so many guys like this (and been related to a few)--they act like jerks and then think that boyish smile, puppy eyes and "I'm soooo sorry" will make it all OK.
Note: It doesn't.
I've gotta say it too: You go, girl!
"The Bible says to love my brother
But I so good have grown
That I love other people's brothers
Better than my own."
Don't know why this brought that old rhyme to mind.
I think the (w)hole thing (apart from 'ASSWHOLE') was written and drawn by one person. Possibly Ted, turning his little drama into a jokey story to make himself appear cute and therefore be forgiven. So he gives it Alyssa with a cheeky grin -- 'see,I'm cute, we can go to the prom after all, can't we'? And she looks at it snd says 'Funny, huh? Asshole. Oh, I can do funny too -- ASSWHOLE!'
Or he actually added the 'ASSWHOLE' himself too, having gone through that whole scenario in his head and realising he isn't cute after all, just pathetic and wrong, and is now filled with terrible self-loathing and feelings of inadequacy.
WAAAAHH!
Maybe.
The W in asswhole is another illustration that he is a complete ass, as in a whole one, rounding the W even to be in the shape of his whole ass.
Ah, teen angst. I wonder what Ted did? I think I'd get on well with Alyssa!
I originally read 'prom' as 'pron', aka pr0n or porn, and was quite disappointed when I realized he was asking about something as tame as prom. Peh!
This is an awesome find!!! I love how Alyssa wrote her response on the note, complete w/illustration! Excellent!!
i think i should title the story of my life: "Are We Still On For Prom?" that kind of hope is rare.
Good for Allyssa!!! Yay! Guys, I'm sorry doesn't get you out of everything.
Haha.. asswhole! jurk! lyar!
he loves her more than he has ever loved "anyone else". therefore he is seasoned at this w(hole) love game. she wasn't his first and won't be his last. he will get over it. he will go to prom, albeit not with allyssa. oh, to be a teenager again....
who names their kid Ted? ted is an old man in a cardigan, with his teeth in a glass. He doesn't belong with Alyssa, Sadie is his mate.
tho Alyssa might have said yes, but Ted sees her as fatter than she sees herself. It looks like a stabbing to me, not a bitchslap. I don't think she's going to forgive him anytime soon. She's already got a date to the prom. With Jeremy, Josh, or Dane.
OMG I can totally relate to this one. Stupid men and their insincere apologies.
ted isn't an asshole; but eveidently an ass altogether.
Right on Alyssa! More girls need to learn at a young age how to stand up to dumb-ass men who take them for granted. This chickey is ahead of others her age! You go girl!!!!!!!!!!
Well, at least he's not half assed.
Two different people did the writing. Note that the 'w's in the man's note have pointed bottoms; her 'w's have rounded bottoms. The dot under his questionmark is just that, a dot; hers is a little circle.
Ted totally did the first drawing and Allyssa did the second. Ted drew them with three fingers per hand, Allyssa only drew 2. Also look at Ted's "w"- it has points, Allyssa's is curved. So this is a two person dialog.
"But I wuuuuuv you!". Ted is such a player. No girl should have to put up with wrongdoings and false appologies. I have to admit to fantasising about slapping guys the way Allyssa was in the cartoon.
Allyssa ROCKS! I wish I had known at that age how to tell boys where they could stick their insincere apologies. Ted's a whole jackass, and Allyssa rules.
Ted probably told the entire football team that he went all the way with her.
Good for Allyssa for not settling for this lame, standard apology. She can do better. She obviously has no self-esteem issues.
I think Ted is truly sorry, there is a downward slant to the writing each time he mentions his wrongdoing, indicating sadness, dismay, etc. However, there is an upward slant when he asks for forgiveness, meaning he was hopeful that his apology would be accepted and all would be forgiven. I'd think he was pretty crushed by her answer. I'm totally behind her decision to dump him, though. The note apology, even if sincere, is cowardly.
That is most definitely a KNIFE in her (drawing's) hand. Too bad for Ted....
Dear Allyssa and Ted:
The put the lines on the college-rule paper for a reason. USE THEM.
Love, D
PS. Sorry about the typo. I meant "they".
I think this note was written by two girls in class. One of them was playing the part of "Ted" and the other was writing her reply as if he had really apologized. My friends and I would do this type of thing all the time.
Poor Ted! But what a hilarious find! I love the cartoon Allyssa bitch-slapping cartoon Ted.
Ahhh. I wish I had Alyssa's guts when I was in school. But I was the pushover in love.
I think the only thing he could have done to have absolutely no chance of forgiveness is sleep with her sister. Or her best friend. I would never have had the guts to tell a guy where to stick it in highschool!
I like that he is the whole ass. ass-one-sixteenth!
So, to summarize your comments:
1) Men are assholes ("dumb-ass men who take them for granted")
2) Men are insincere
3) Men are liars
4) An attempt at reconciliation should be met with violence
4) Violence against men is awesome, whether it be bitch-slapping or stabbing or verbal abuse
Nice. You seem like such charming people.
Sand, you’re so right. Check out this, kind of reminds me of the illustration.
http://shizzville.com/bitter-film
I'm with Disappointed. I'd really like to know what Ted did before coming to some sort of conclusion about the righteousness of Alyssa's slapdown. I mean, if it was just standard "wah, he didn't read my mind" crap, and he doesn't even know what the hell he's apologizing for, then shame on Alyssa. Come on, fellow females - you know you do it too!
I agree with Samantha is Lafayette. I wish I could have stood my ground like Alyssa in high school
disappointed should take things the way they are intended. We are girls, supporting a fellow girl. Typical high-school reaction. I happen to dig men quite a bit, but they are occasionally in need of a bitch-slap. And, by the by, anything that would require him to ask if they were "still on for prom", was bad enough to completely deserve a bitch-slap. So nyer nyer nyer.
I think Scout is right. I think this is a practice run. Alyssa's BFF is helping her cope with whatever wrongdoing Ted perpetrated, and helping her figure out what to say IF Ted does grovel and beg forgiveness.
It looks like two different' peoples' handwriting, but the cartoons look to me like they're done by the same artist.
Also, Disappointed is spot on. And imagine the outrage if the gender roles were reversed, and a guy was depicted knifing, slapping, or smacking a chick.
I like JD's handwriting analysis.
I get the same spam protection question almost every time.
JD, nice analysis, I knew someone would nail it!
Pepper, thanks for the priceless video link!
the handwriting looks very girly. i think this is something that a friend would write to another as a joke.
asswholes.
Darn! I signed on too late and everyone and now I have nothing new to add.
Oh, he is alllllll of dat ass.
I imagined Allyssa as a bitter feminist who couldn’t wait to jump all over Ted for making the slightest infraction.
I hope Ted ended up going to Prom with a hot cheerleader and had himself a great night of groping in the backseat of his dad’s Buick.
ah. prom groping...
(**hang on, i'm daydreaming**)
Ted: "So is that a 'No' then?"
You know... Here is a different story:
Alyssa is a super popular girl. She is pretty, sexy and damn smart. Having man arround them make her feel powerfull.
She found Ted, a sweet cute guy in her math class. He is shy, a bit on the reject side, but he is kinda cute. He was the perfect prey. She walked up to him, did her stuff, and now he is totally hooked on her. I mean to a point even Alyssa is a bit freaked out. She even told him "yes yes, i'll go with the prom with you ... *sigh*"
Out of shame, she didnt really told anyone, and now Jerry, the cpt of the football team asked her out for the prom. She need to give a ride of Ted, and fast. So she start to make all kind of fake jealousy scene, explosing anger for the slightest thing and trying to make a total ass of Ted, so she have reasons to dump him. At the end, Ted got to bring the notes of friday class to Catherine who was sick and live on his street. Perfect excuse, Alyssa dump him.
Ted is so hooked up he try every little cuteness he can to get her back, even cute little drawing, telling her he never loved anyone the way he love her and that he want to go to the prom with her. Alyssa strike back with one of her favorite manipulative quote (asswhole) and put him in a guilt trip even more.
Ted wont go at the prom this year because, the only person he wanted to go with was Alyssa...
PS: I work with teenagers all the time. Im a bit shocked to see that girls can be as jerks as guys ... I think its neat that its now equal... But insteed of girls being manipulative, i rather have liked if nobody was getting hurt, I guess its a little utopia inst it ? :P
You go girl! Dump his sorry ass right before prom..way to go . Then next step is to get another guy way hotter then him and run Teddy down so badly that he will never have a date again.
P.S lilly quit trying to steal the shotters thunder with your stupid and lame poser stories...bag...
You know, I wonder how many of the people who are saying 'right on!' to this girl are projecting their own experiences here.
I know I have my prom date story that makes me feel a little bitter still (16 years later!), and therefore want to cheer this girl on. Anyone else?
i love this. and yes, i hope she's stabbing him.
Pepper,
clearly the figure in this cartoon has previously injured each of these ladies in horrible, unspeakable ways. He thinks he can waltz up all innocent and act like nothing happened (or he was too drunk to remember), but he has another thing coming to him. he is not telling the whole story, only the story that will get him sympathy, so he can go around telling all his buddies, "all I did was say hello, and she bit my head off!" further (false) proof that women are emotional and irrational.
Either that, or they were all on the rag.
There will be no dancing at prom when you don't have any damn feet. And what the hell is Ted wearing? This couple sucks a whole lot of ass. I printed out a copy just so I could slap them.
Lily I don't care what ass says. I like your story...wish somebody could fill us all in the real story. I'm proud of Alyssa for standing up for herself. More of my friends should have.
Hey, why is everybody so down on Ted? we all make mistakes, right? doesn't everyone deserve a second chance?
Ted, from one stupid jerk to another, I feel your pain.
I think Ted was truly sorry, WHATever it was. He really sounds sincere, and all he gets back is a misspelled "fuck you" complete with a cartoon beating severe enough to practically break him in half. Ted, you deserve a lot better...call me, and we'll beat Allyssa up together. Then, WE'LL go to prom together.
it would've been SOOOO cool if instead of ted, it would've been a stacy or a lisa or a tracy writing this! bring on the girl on girl!!
I am so glad Wombles don't go to school or have proms...we are just apprenticed and learn by watching and doing.
This does tie in with this weeks "strange longhaired kids holding disturbing things" theme...Alyssa is holding a knife there, clearly, and her actions vis a vis Ted are most disturbing (I do not discount that he may have done something disturbing first)and Alyssa certainly has long hair.
I agree with Ashley. I bet she crossed out his drawing and wrote her "What do you think?!" and he sketched another drawing of her stabbing him and she responsed with "Asswhole!" If you look closely at the characteristics of the drawings, they are very much alike. And the "AAh!" is more consistent with Ted's handwriting than Allyssa's.
you know... guys are funny. There are those who are self aware, who communicate better with women, and then there are those who don't really 'get' what's going on. Those are the one's who sit around with their buddies, and say "WTF just happened???" This is not meant to be anything against them, its just the way they are.
Disappointed, i don't think violence is the answer to anything, not even violence.
and do people's dad's even have Buicks anymore?? Do teenagers still have sex in cars??? i dunno. I'm asking.
Dear Allyssa:
Pleeeasse take me back. I need a date for the prom and Tiffani dumped me.
p.s. sorry about the V-neck sweater, my mom hasn't done laundry in weeks.
haha nikoli, that was probably his reaction to this.
thank you, becky, for putting Disappointed in his place. As girls, we are naturally spurred on to encouage each other in times of need, as this obviously was for Allyssa. We all wish we had her courage.
Ted OBVIOUSLY is offering some cheap apology so his friends don't think he's a loser without a prom date. Ted can't possibly be alone, so he wrote this to Allyssa pleading for her back, only to be knifed in the back. Once again, you go girl.
mona, i am sorry to tell you that (as a teenager myself who does not have sex in cars, or anywhere else for that matter) yes, teenagers do still have sex in cars. a lot.
here in my car
i feel safest of all
i can lock all my doors
it's the only way to live
in cars
Actually, my father never owned a Buick nor was I ever groped in one. I only used “Buick” because I thought that it was the least sexy sounding vehicle… and somehow, in my mind, Teddy and the cheerleader’s romp was all the hotter because of it. In a Buick there would defiantly… be more fumbling for zippers... steamier windows… grinding… panting…
God, I prey my husband is reading this and ravages me in our Altima…
Here in the bar
people come up to me
and they say
"aren't you the guy
who sings like David Bowww-ie
in bars..."
Thanks Lily, that was great. Please ignore the putdowns and keep on keeping on! If you really don't speak English, you're having a better go at it than plenty of people out there (or in here). Please come again!
Orinoco -- ah, but Wombles do go to Proms... I've seen them skulking around the Albert Hall many a time. Of course you don't have to pay for your ticket -- you have your own secret tunnel under Kensington Gardens, that emerges under the fountain in the middle of the arena. But I won't let on.
)*j*( xx
Well my instinct would be ted was caught cheating or flirting with other girls.
However I like to think maybe Allyssa is actually evil. I imagine her being a rich spoiled brat that gets jealous easily doesn't truly care for him and likes to control men with her long ebony locks as dark as her heart and eyes as cold as the tundra.
She requested he venture on a quest for the mystical teeny weeny doggy of Caer-Bannog
She already requested the bunny from her dead ex. The teeny weeny was to match her prom purse exactly...
However foolish ted arrived at her door with the pup at the wrong time she was trying on her prom dress with her minions and well the puppy was chewing on his head pretty good on thing led to another and the blood squirting from his forehead ruined her dress although a cold was or trip to the drycleaner would fix it all she was mortified in front of her minions and so he is an asswhole .....
She's going all "CARRIE" on him in her prom dress.
I'm (thankfully) out of the loop, but the wombles thing is stale to me. The other day one of you said wombles don't have sex, but just clone later on or some weird shit. Stop it!
she is clearly holding a dagger and is stabbing him. how can you not see it?
claire... good to know. thank you for the update. I just wasn't sure if kids still did that kind of thing. Seems like a lot of parents are so unaware of what their kids are doing, there's no need to skulk off in a car and have hot, steamy, window fogging sex.
Jodababes.. you're right, the Buick is the least sexy sounding car. loooooooooved your analogy. hope you get ravaged in the altima too.
Maybe the misspelling on asshole was something like a *internal joke* they used to make while they were still in love... So Alyssa came up with the word just to try to hurt Ted a little bit more.
(mona lisa, I don't know about Buicks in California, but in Florida... There's a lot)
Y'all must love the Jerry Springer Show.
I wish I had had the courage to write a response like Alyssa's.
Hey, only.. give it a try. Like NIKE says. you Just Do It. The courage comes after that.
well, Lila, just like old canadians, old buicks go there to die.
haha. go alyssa!
dont diss the wombles.
It would have been funnier if she called him an asswhore.
I hope Ted doesn't grow up to be a man who can't apologize. I hope Allyssa learns how to forgive.
Alyssa's round W's turn me on!
Dear Ted,
How YOU doin'?
Your BFF,
terrieissovery
This is the perfect time to revive the "judgmental bitch" label.
That's "judgenmental" bitch, L.
Really really tired, I was gonna go straight to bed but I was hungry first, so I decided to snack on a Clif Bar. I was reading the ingredients as I was munching.. green tea, equivalent to 50 mg caffeine. ERRGGG...! I wanted to go to sleep!! Too late! I had ingested it all. What an idiot. I mean, Clif Bars are energy bars! Who eats an energy bar when they want to go to sleep? Dumb. Dumb. So I picked up the computer, started reading the comments, and found Pepper's link. The movie was pretty good, but at the end it says, "Thanks to my good friend caffeine." Why does this weird stuff constantly happen to me? Well, I guess if I gotta be awake against my will, I might as well be entertained by weird stuff.
Actually the school play was not in the lawn. I am in the lawn. Trying to sleep. z-z-z-z...
MOM! haha Dane doesn't need to end up with Alyssa, hes happy with Rachel
What about the possibility that Ted and Allyssa both suck? It's a very good possibility with all the hormones and not-quite-fully-developed prefrontal cortexes of teenagerdom going on.
Or is the plural of cortex cortices?
It's definitely two people drawing this: look at the way the hair is drawn. Also, compare the texture of the dresses. Speaking as a teenager myself, it is altogether highly plausible that they both suck, butter in the fridge. And they probably both went and whined to their friends afterward.
thesoundbites.blogspot.com
dear hard butter,
your argument could be altered slightly to speak to the innocence of these two "not-quite-fully-developed" teens. maybe neither of them suck, maybe they both have made mistakes, and will probably make some more.
love, soft marge
Very possible, but I prefer to punish the little barnacles for being teenagers under they learn that being a teenager is not okay. :D
oh stop it, butter. teens are wonderful. why don't you sit on the kitchen counter a little while and soften up a bit.
Jonathan, different kind of prom. the one referred to in this note means fluffy dresses and acne'd teens in bad tuxes. Not music fans waving union jacks.
Offspring, i was just using the name as a stereotypical modern teenage name, and i wanted to immortalize the latest addition to the string of offspring hangers on.
not that i think Dane is stereotypical at all... or his name...
I thought the smiley face indicated I was being facetious. Guess not. O.O
awww, I was just playing with you butter. sorry it didn't sound that way.
That's the problem with the internet, you can never tell what the context is behind the words. Thought for a second you might be joking, but decided to cover my ass in the event you weren't. Heh...
with names like butter and margarine, we could only be joking. are you covering your ass with butter?
Of course. One must always coat liberally in order to seal in the juices.
ok. just checking. don't poke it with a fork, though, or the juices will seep out.
are you two talking about?
"I can't believe it's not butter."
hellooo fabiooo....how do you seal in your juices?
butter.. margarine.. butter.. margarine.. butter.. margarine... Parkaaaaaayyyyyyy
Allysa, learn to spell.
Allysa drew the second picture, it's done in the same pen, that's for sure. I think she wrote asswhole also.
Women know how to really make it sting.
Pepper told me at the Senior Swing-out that she saw Ted at the Mall hitting on that skank who works at Hot Dog on a Stick, so there was like, no WAY I was going out with him. Oh and, Hi, cheap apology much? He couldn't spring for a mylar ballon or a teddy bear? Asswhole.
To mona lisa, JodaBabes and lila- I'm a teenager (well, 20 now) in California who had a lot of sex in my old Buick. My friends call it a sofa-car...it's actually comfortable! I think the Buick is secretly the sexiest car ;)
Allysa in over her Ted said:
"He couldn't spring for a mylar balloon or a teddy bear?"
I say:
Materialistic whole're. Somehow thats supposed to say sorry better then a written apology? This will only teach him to cynical towards women. At least the Allysa in the note replied with enough ambiguity to give her the benefit of the doubt in that the shes a bit more fair and level headed then any of the vengeful twats here. "You go girl?" You don't even know what he did wrong. Sounds to me like the guy is whipped and forgot to do his girlfriend's Homework.
I hate when people call it "prom" instead of THE prom. It makes it sound like it's a bucket of some kind of substance:
"Eeewwwww! I got prom all over my $150.00 hairdo! Mr. Chauffeur! Turn this limousine around this instant! Chop chop!"
I don't know why it bothers me, since I really don't give a flying fuck about proms. Thankfully, I never got suckered into going to one.
Many of you have commented on how self assured Alyssa is for a teenager, however nowhere in this note does ir intimate she is indeed a teen. I believe she is a teacher--probably not English (assWhole), probably not an Art Teacher (she probably would have at least five fingers on her drawing) maybe a Martial Arts teacher. Whatever kind of teacher she is, she's had Ted in for a little more than detention--no cleaning the erasers for him, unless that is some new euphemism for porking your teach! I had a teacher like that and she was fucking delicious!
hahaha...Ted was OWNED!!! good for Alyssa...too bad she can't spell =[