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January 05, 2009 |
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Grinding
FOUND by Aaron Matthews
in Thornhill, Ontario, Canada
I found this note folded into a square under my desk in Hebrew class.
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
hmmm. how grinding relates to any or all of the disney bitches is far beyond my comprehension. (but I have a feeling that if it hurts, maybe you're doing something wrong.) (fiona and dorothy aren't disney though, are they?)
by the way, listwriter, the "girl cowboy" in Toy story 2 was Jessie, the yodeling cowgirl.. (voiced by Joan Cusack. gotta love imdb.)
Aaron Matthews' Hebrew class seems to be fertile ground for Finds. Way to go, Aaron!
Wait, who's Fiona?
Shrek's love, Princess Fiona. ("human" turned Ogre in Shrek, ogre in Shrek 2 and Third.)
i'm so confused.
I had to hangdog back from the playing-card Find to see this one.
"Grinding hurts my legs" sounds like the kind of response a Disney girl would give to a chat-up line, revealing that she has no idea what it means. Of course no Disney girl has ever done more than that one magic kiss, right? She probably thinks "grinding" is what you do to make corn tortillas and kneeling by the grinder or standing for a long time at a kitchen counter could possibly give you sore legs and feet after awhile, so she went with that, little knowing that all the Disney witches were sniggering into their black bell-sleeves.
"Love! Hi Rick, and Dave, and Pop, well Good morning Mom!
Love! Get up, guess what? I'm in love with a girl I've found!
She's really swell, cause she likes church, Bingo chances and old-time dances.
Reality, it's not for me and it makes me laugh.
But fantasy world and Disney Girls, I'm comin' back."
If it's a list of the hottest cartoon chicks, it is missing Leela and Amy from Futurama, Betty Rubble, and Judy Jetson, to name just a few.
Why would you capitalize "Toy Story" but none of the names? Inconsistent.
This is a pop quiz. Which character's name translates to "Grinding hurts my legs" in Hebrew?
"Who are Disney Bitches raised by their Dads?"
give me my 1000 bucks Trebek....
... Yes! We also would accept "Who are the offspring of dead Disney mother characters."
(as for the grinding ...apply ice packs and take some asprin)
Was "Dirty Dancing" a Disney flick?
(And if it hurts your legs, you're probably doing it wrong.)
Whoops, just echoing your very atute observation, Reading from left to right. Great minds....
A young Jew's wet dreams? (No offense intended)
Adding to Reading's and Nightingale's observation:
If it hurts your legs, you shouldn't be doing it upside down.. (Whaaat??? " I don't know what I mean by that, but I mean it." J.D. Salinger)
(clearing throat)..Nala was a lion.
Just thought that was important to bring up.
Why is the declaration in quotes? "Grinding hurts my legs."
This is a very weird find.
"Grinding hurts my legs"
My list would look entirely different.
AHHH! The visualization is too much.
Aren't you supposed to be preparing for your bat/bar mitzvah in Hebrew class?
when i'm in school and someone says something funny i write it down in my notebook. maybe this person does the same thing?
oh and belle is absolutely the best disney princess
What does Dorothy have to do with any of this?
The complete homework assignment could have been "Write an essay describing how three of these characters could have gotten themselves into a situaiton where they would have been able to say 'Grinding hurts my legs'. Explain why you would not have been allowed to watch that situation played out on screen even if they are cartoon characters. Include two ways you will work to get that image out of your brain before shabbat."
i think the author is a snowboarder or skateboarder and grinding on a rail of some kind hurts her legs. why it hurts her legs, i don't know.
either that, or she is dry-humping someone just a little too vigorously.
Ahhhh, dry-humping the Jews....those were the days.
Isn't it suppose to be
"Grinding hurts my crotch?"
Hmmm. Are we going back to one Find a day for the new year?
i have no idea what this is, but it's kind of hilarious
fooch theres nothing wrong with a little lioness love every now and then... they might appreciate it as the male lion penis has a tip thats kind of shaped like a fish hook... mini mouse however; theres nothing cool about having sex with a female mouse, i know that much.
furthermore, about the grinding, i would imagine if its boy maybe the seems on his pants are too rough and simulated jerking off he does in class is causing some sort of exema type rash.
for those who dont know or do: you can KIND OF feel good with a boner by pushing it down into the pant leg (dangerous if you get called on in class) and just shake (or "grind") away, cant nut or anything unless your magic, either way, this jew should be spending more time making lists of real people for us to judge his selections on, and leave his furry fetish at home and out of our schools.... protect our children
@ thewhite ... too much information! (twice!!)
It could be the cast of an upcoming movie titled "Grinding hurts my legs".
I think someone is trying to name a cat. When I was little I wanted a cat named "The Wizard of Oz".
Interesting that the grinding comment is in a different handwriting.
Isn't anyone else going to point out that it's spelled "Pocahontas" not "Pocohontias"?
-- OR "Pocohontais" either
I have always spelled it "Pokeahotass".
Didn't we do this yesterday?
thewhite, you obviosuly have much experience in this area.
By the way, interesting the assumption that only Jews take hebrew class.
@ thewhite: interesting information about a lion's penis.
I wonder if the shape has a similar purpose as the male dragonfly's.
Pavel Poo---different writing indeed
I remain firm in my belief that Ariel is the best Disney Princess. She has a super power! Hello!!! She can breathe underwater... Plus she has red hair.
"Grinding hurts my legs"
Haha! That's what she said! I mean, that's what all of the fictional characters on this list said. If you know what I mean.
Though the Tin-Man of OZ had a real heart, in a moment of self loathing he made a list of all the girls in fairy-tale-land who had given him the same excuse for not wanting to date him.
@turbo
lmao, that just made my day.
Why would you be grinding with Disney characters?!
Especially in the middle of class.
o___0
"i don't know the name of the girl cowboy from toy story 2, but i'm sure grinding hurts her legs as well."
The name of the Toy Story cowgirl's boyfriend IS Woody...