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December 10, 2007 |
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Bob, the External Organ
FOUND by Alex Verhoeven
in Carrboro, North Carolina
I found this on the floor next to the jukebox at my local speakeasy. I really do hope she's having a wonderful, and I bet Bob does too.
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United States of ... July 20, 2008 |
Abandoned Bbq August 30, 2005 |
Better Than ... June 01, 2008 |
On My Day Off April 04, 2008 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
But does he love her with any of his external organs?
A wonderful...what?!
I think April is a Bobist, perhaps.
I saw my cousin April today for the first time in several years. I'm sorry, it just seems weird to see her name here.
It's on the back of a reciept!
I'm trying to determine if this was written to april by a guy, or if it was written by her mother who might have been angry at her for something earlier, and bob is her dad. But now that I look at it again i think it probably a guy, because they put the comma in the wrong place in "Dear, April"
I'm thinking it was a guy, because it says I love you babe at the bottom, and I wonder how many moms call thir daughters babe.
I think Bob *is* his external organ.
Yep.. nothing manly like "Krull the Warrior King"... "Bob" it is.
I wonder why.
And the "I wonder why," was more rhetorical than anything.
I think I have a good idea.
Bob-ble head.
Bob-ing for.. Bob?
Bob - (verb)- to move up and down repeatedly.
i think the handwriting is a bit too girly for a guy.
so perhaps it's a friend, and bob is her dog?
or, her other friend?
maybe even her friends boyfriend/husband.
i don't know.
the possibilities are endless.
I want for you to have a wonderful but please be good??
visceroemotional feelings:
-liver: (love you with) anger and emotion
-heart: love and fear of being hurt emotionally
-pericardium: (love you in the form of) protector of the heart
-lungs: (love you full of) grief
-kidneys: (love you) fear of death
-spleen: (love you) disappointment
the rest of the organs aren't covered in the book i'm reading... sorry.
I think it's a guy who had/has screwed up. He's putting "Bob" out there as a gimme/guilt scapegoat. I hope April knows what's up with this guy...cause he just might be sincere!
My parents called all of their younger daughters "babe." They had a lot of kids and it was hard to get called the right name..."babe" (or "kiddo" for the boys) saved going down the list each time they wanted a kid's attention.
I still call my friend's daughters "babe", and they're in their teens. No one has ever objected to it.
"I want for you to have a wonderful TIME but please be good"
That's what I think.
It's creepy to think that someone would actually say "I love you with all of my organs". Seriously??
I know Bob. He used to love April but, by the time this note was written, he says, he had fallen out of love with her.
I love you with my large intestine!
If the writer had an organ transplant would that person's organ love her as well?
April is a 13 year old girl, who is beautiful. But a real troublemaker. This was written by her mom, Babe. Babe wants her to have a wonderful "day". Bob is the stepdad, who usually isn't crazy about April and all her shenanigans, but loves her regardless, to keep Babe happy.
Oh duh. Alex, I just got your joke. Hahaha! Great find!
Local speakeasy! What year was this 1920 something?
I'm having a wonderful just thinking about it.
This actually reminds me of something my ex would write... Every time I went out or did something for myself (sans him,) he would compose a note and slip it into my wallet or coat pocket for me to find later. I still have one: "Baby, I just want to say that I love you. Do you know how much you mean to me? Have fun tonight, be safe, and call me. Call me a lot so that I know you're ok. I love you and miss you and can't wait to hold you in my arms tonight. And Fido" (my cat) "misses you too. I love you with all my heart!"
Looking back I never really thought they were sweet... Just a reminder that somewhere out there, while I was trying to have fun and relax, was someone missing me and being miserable until I came home.
The "local speakeasy" location made me think it was written by a madam and Bob is a pimp. April is running off to escape a life of prostitution.
Therefore the missing word is "life." "I want for you to have a wonderful life."
I hope that April was careful, because it's a dangerous.
CuriousKat, that's hilarious!
There's no missing word, it's just misspelled and poorly punctuated. It should say, "I want you to have a wonderful butt; please be good."
The "Dear, April" ruined this find for me.. though the rest of it isn't written so well either :P
Poor grammar and punctuation is so common these days, not only amongst adolescents, it's everywhere.. it's sad, really.
And I agree with Pepper.. "local speakeasy," as if they are still quite common.
This note actually sounds like notes my Mom sends to me now that I live away from home. They are nice, and in no way creepy, so that's how I'm taking this one.
Perhaps April was going on a holiday with her friends, and her mom wanted her to have a wonderful TRIP, but to be safe. "I love you with all my internal organs" is an inside joke they have had together since April was a little girl and was told the heart is an internal organ. Bob is the cat (my Mom writes for our cat too) and he too sends his furry love. It is signed off with "I love you, Babe", because April is now too old to be called "sweetheart".
Sarasara, what book is that anyway? And what are the missing internal organs?
I never think about internal organs.
We have skin so that we don't have to be thinking about what's underneath it all the time.
So, listen, I love you with all my heart, but somehow that just doesn't seem strong enough. OK, with all my internal organs. Wait, still not compelling enough...how about all of my tendons? Metatarsals? Toe jam?
Yikes! Run, April, run!
I had to look up "speakeasy." It's where alcohol is sold illegally. I guess there could be a kiddie bar somewhere. But otherwise alcohol is legal just about everywhere.
Oh wait. I just remembered there is a "dry county" that I know of, in Arkansas. If people want booze, they have to bring it across the county line. Maybe there's a speakeasy there, for people who don't want to go so far. Maybe Carrboro is in a dry county.
I bet I know what BOB is.
Clover, you had to look up speakeasy? I though you were the walking encyclopedia.
C'est pas moi qui est dictionaire, Pepper.
A Bobist... That's classic. May Bob be with you all.
It's actually simply a bar called "The Speakeasy." This county is anything but dry.
Oh my god, let's have a major meltdown freakout for twenty pages about how he forgot the word "life"!!!!!!!!! Sooooooo fascinating!!!!!!!!! What does it mean?????????? OBVIOUSLY it is a majorly important part of the note!!!!!!!!! Freudian slip, Freudian slip!!!!!!!!!! Maybe it means he doesn't want to live!!!!! Maybe it means he is murdering her!!!!!!! Oh, my LIFE!!!!!!!!!
I think I vote for the 'Mom as author' idea, plus 'Bob as stepdad or longtime family pet'.
-
Since we have all of these grammar police patrolling the area, I thought I would add my 2 cents: "C'est pas moi qui *suis* dictionnaire." This happens in English pretty often, too. *Attention!*
Wait, we haven't even really focused on who "Bob" is enough yet. This guy is probably leaving this girl for a man named Bob! He wants her to have a wonderful life (but not really, because he forgot the word "life") even though she has turned him gay. But he wants her to know his new butt buddy loves her, too. So don't feel bad!!!!!!!!!!!
It may be mundane, but, please let us know what is on the other side!!! A reciept? From where? What was purchased? Condoms for Bob?
Beatrice, that's because in English, it would be the same.
It's not me who is a dictionary.
"Suis" and "est" are both translated into "is" in English. One would not say "It is not I who am the dictionary."
There's a guy in my office who always puts the comma after "Dear" instead of after the addressee's name. I always thought that he was retarded, but now I suspect that he writes all of his letters at a speakeasy. That would explain a lot of other stuff about his personality though.
I'm with ALL OF MY... I try to have a wonderful butt everyday, but I must fail miserably because no one (least of all Bob) has ever loved me with ALL of their internal organs… only a reproductive system or two.
April must be a very special month.
In English:
Right: It is I who is going.
Wrong: It is I who am going.
Sorry, Beatrix.
This may be childish of me, but let me stand up for myself a little bit, even if this ends up being wrong. When is "is" ever the correct conjugation for "to be" corresponding with "I"? Taking out the redundant words (It, is, who), we have "I is going" and "I am going", the latter clearly being more correct. Would you argue that "who" becomes the subject? I would strongly disagree, though that would be the most plausible argument for your end, in my opinion. I disagree because, though identifying the subject as "who" might justify the correct conjugation of "to be" as "is", if I were to ask you what the subject of the sentence is, almost inevitably the answer will be "I" and not "who".
Anyway, if that isn't enough, here are 2 websites that back me up, even if there might be some that back you up:
http://alt-usage-english.org/excerpts/fxitsmev
http://www.users.bigpond.net.au/renton/930.htm
Sorry. I had to!
I bet he gave her the clap.
That's my answer for everything.
Hmm, I was convinced Bob was a cat until Jeff's post.
Oh the fear of being cheated on. This relationship is doomed.
Probably gave her alot more than the clap if he's rubbing his organs all over her, Turbo. His liver might have given her Hepatitis C.
Addendum:
One unlikely possibility: I know this isn't what was meant, but one slightly possible
possibility would be if your sentence had been referring to some non-you entity, "Not-I", as the subject. That is, it is possible that the sentence was a positive statement about a (sort of) negative subject, as opposed to what it probably was (a negative sentence about "I").
That's probably getting too philosophical, and very possibly just wrong, but since this is being taken somewhat seriously, I figure... let's DO this!
Whatever else may happen, April can breathe a little easier knowing that this guy loves her with his appendix. They'd better just hope it doesn't rupture. If it does, they may both be fucked (no pun intended).
Sleepless, how could a misplaced comma ruin such a goofball note for you? If anything, it should accentuate the weirdo vibe it gives off. (Not creepy, mind you. Just weird.)
Really, some people around here could stand to consider the possibility that a lot of these finds, if they were not grammatically (and punctuationally and spellingly) flawed, would lose some of the flavor that makes them so entertaining.
Wait, punctuationally and spellingly aren't real words? Shit! Does that mean I get a Found detention? Well, now that I think about it, that actually might not be so bad.
haha, this made me smile. how cute is that!
Hah. This is cute. My name is April and I used to love a guy named Bob very much, but this isn't me. Just amuses me. Love you with all my internal organs is probably an inside joke between this guy and April. And Bob is his child? pet? Who knows. Still cute.
When we were kids my best friend and I wrote a completely weird screen-play set in a mental institution where all the inmates thought they were animals (except for a Genetically Non-Conforming Broccoli). Just for our own amusement (and because we both had a crush on a teacher named Bob) we created The Cult of the Bobwhites: A bunch of people dressed in identical white pants suites who ran around praying to the God of Bob. (“Bob Bob Bob Bob.”)
The “Bob loves you too” part of this find reminds me of that, and completely cracked me up.
Accept Bob’s love and be saved!
clover, it's from somatoemotional release; deciphering the language of life.
some of the non-highlighted organs... oh you know, brain, stomach. I have info on those somewhere, can find out for you if you'd like.
My high school anatomy teacher, (who was notably weird, but really nice at the same time) told us that since the liver is our largest internal organ it would make more sense to say, "I love you with all my liver."
It was a common joke for a while, it eventually became "I love you with all of Melissa's liver," or "I love you with my pancreas, but not my lungs."
*ha ha ha* nothing better than anatomy jokes.
I'm pretty sure I've never had someone tell me they loved me with their internal organs. I think I would have remembered that one...I hope April appreciates what she's got there.
I'd like to think that if someone loves you with their internal organs, you know it's a true, lifelong love.
As for the French...
etre is conjugated as:
je suis
tu est
il est
nous sommes
vous etes
ils sont
And really, it should be:
Ce n'est pas moi qui est une dictionaire.
Should have been tu es. Gr.
I don't fit in at The Speakeasy, but I'm right at home at The Cradle or He's Not.
I forgot to mention: For the folks talking about "Bobists" and "Bobism," do Google searches for "Bob Dobbs" and "Church of the Subgenius" (unless you're already familiar with it, of course).
Will there be a French lesson again tomorrow?
Thanks, Clover. You're not my mother are you?
Turbo, I bet he gives her the clap while on pills and booze. One hand, you keep giving it to Beatrice. All you nut jobs, I said encyclopedia, not dictionary.
Sorry, I just have to write. Just as grating as wrong punctuation are people who are telling other people how to say something in another language and then get it wrong!
Dictionaire is masculine, hence:
"Ce n'est pas moi qui est un dictionaire." or better yet:
"Je ne suis pas un dictionaire."
PS. I agree with sleepy bunny. The letter is meant to produce guilt..."oh, honey, have a good time, but not a TOO good time. Love you."
Big whoop all of you. GET A LIFE!
beatrice is even more annoying, grammarily, puncuationally and spellingly, than i am.
I think the note is cute. I always write "have a happy"
and my father always told me to be good. Once he sent me a postcard, from overseas, and that's all it said.
and he just called me 'girl'.
Flargy, I skipped most of the comments for now, but had to say to you: no detention today, Sir, go to the head of the class!
8-)
Beatrice asks: "When is 'is' ever the correct conjugation for 'to be' corresponding with 'I'?"
Well, right there in the website that you provide a link to, it states that "It is I" is correct rather than "It is me."
So, that would answer your question, Beatrice.
In the phrase "It is I," very clearly "is" is being paired with "I."
Would you contend that one should say, "It am I?"
Really?
That would be quite ridiculous.
Right:
Who is giving the presentation?
It is I.
Wrong:
Who is giving the presentation?
It am I.
Look what you started Mona.
i didnt start anything... i just got here, for gosh sakes. You can't pin this one on me, panties. (are they your own panties, or someone else's you've twisted up.)
Don't make me have to come over there.
...oh really..............
where is the receipt from? i think that knowing that will give us real insight into the nature of the note writer's true feelings. Receipt from a dollar store.... not so much. Receipt from a major jewellry store... ooh baby.
I agree Mona, Beatrice is more annoying. However, Pepper's got her beat.
have to agree with you there, Sue Bee. Pepper's in a class of his/her own.
I want to know what's on back too. Alexxx.. are you still here? Found guys? Somebody.
Geez, look what this started. All day I've been singing "Lost April"....
Lost April, where did you go?
Like winter snow I saw you vanish.
Lost April, so soft and warm
A memory not even time can banish.
But April had numbered days,
And when they passed, love couldn't last
I lost love, and you--and April, too.
And Nat "King" Cole sang it way better than I...
Am I the only person who still uses the 60's slang expression "have a happy"? You never say a happy *what*--just let the other person fill whatever in.
Maybe that's why the writer wants April to have a wonderful.
But yes, that thing about the "internal organs" is either an in-joke or just plain odd.
On the topic of conjugation, but unrelated to the find:
I've always thought it was ridiculous that "aren't I ___?" is correct, because it would never be correct to say "are I not___?" or "I are ___."
Stay tuned for other things that piss me off.
In New Zealand, Mona, it is "Eats roots and leaves" - a clever double entendre referring to the nocturnal habits of our native bird (the Kiwi) and the nocturnal habits of our male population. Down here, a root is a shag, a bonk, a horizontal rumba, a ... oh well, I'll say it ... a fuck. As in "Phwoarh, she's a bit of all right, I'd give her a root." or "Do you fancy a root?". You can see why we are in reverse population!!! That said, I don't like this note - it seems like an uber-control-freakish way to keep his lady under his thumb and that internal organs stuff - well, maybe I'll just stick with an honest root.
I'll chime in on the grammar discussion--the subject of "It is I" or "It is not I" is 'it', not 'I. 'It' therefore needs 'is', not 'am'.
"Eats, Shoots, Leaves" could be a double entendre also... Or maybe my mind has just been sullied by 8 hours under florescent lighting.
Either way, the author of this find needs to take a course in Writing A More Effective Love Note: Less Is More. (Unless you're Shakespeare.)
The sentence "I love you with all of my internal organs and Bob loves you too" irritates me. Why didn't the writer just say "Bob and I love you." It would have been less annoying to read. It would have been quicker to write. AND it would have not given the impression that Bob and the internal organs, though not the same, have something in common. The way the note was written leads me to suspect that BOB is a pet name for an organ on the outside of the body. An eye is an organ. An ear is an organ. A penis is an organ. Maybe the writer wanted to illicit April's strong emotions for his/her penis (yes that's correct)... and they call it something common like Bob, so that April often has reminders of what will happen when she and the writer come together...
Yeah I don't know what guy in his right mind would name his penis Bob. Bobbed things are short and nubby.
Y'all are soooooo mean...
And since I'm feeling picked on, TJ, let me point out that even if I (very hypocritically, for sure) got the gender of "dictionnaire" wrong, you, in chewing me out, spelled it wrong. Thrice. It has two Ns.
Grammar war truce? Or do we still want to argue and throw around mean ad hominems? 'Cause I can start doing that, too.
Y'know what, no. Even though I still think I'm right and could prove it (the "It is I" argument doesn't hold, by the way)... I think the best answer is probably Pinker's, who, like most linguists, is puzzled when people argue too much about the particularities of grammar, since the goal of language is simply to convey meaning, and if it achieves that, then it is functionally 'correct'. So let's all just shut up about the grammar now, what do you say? And let's please stop being mean to each other. It's not nice to call people annoying. My statements were definitely annoying, though, I admit it.
Peace.
Maybe like someone said earlier.. it's not really his penis's nickname.. it's what he likes her to do to it.
So maybe this should be on DirtyFound.
Punctuationally and spellingly are my two new favorite words. In the spirit of creepy and judgenmental, they should henceforth be used often and used well on this comment board, and everywhere else possible on the world wide web.
It seems to me that there was some movie or television show some time ago, and the dad would tell his kid “I love your guts”.. (like some people say “I hate your guts..”) And even though I can’t remember where I heard it, it still grosses me out every time I think of it. (which I do, more than is normal or healthy.) I love your guts with all my internal organs.
I steer clear of that pesky phrase, “aren’t I?” for just the reasons Flargy cited. I much prefer to say “am I not?!” because it sounds like something some cheesy Disney cartoon dude would say, in a kind of booming voice.
All I can make out on the receipt is an entry for “new price.. dry goods $27.99”
A subtotal of what looks like 55.98 (there must have been two quantity of the dry goods entry?)
Then maybe 7.000% tax (though the word does not look like tax. It almost looks like it says rock. Makes no sense.)
And a total of $59.90
At the bottom (under the barcode) it says “Thank you for shopping at…... recht’s (there’s a crinkle in the paper, making the first part of that word illegible, but maybe someone from around those there parts can shed some light.)
Oh, sorry TJ, you weren't dogging me. I never mentioned the gender of dictionnaire. My bad!
It looks like a lot of people failed to notice that the Finder actually titled the Find "Bob, the External Organ"
Even the Finder surmised that Bob is another name for Krull the Conqueror (or, of course, Princess Sophia.)
This is an unintelligent guy who is completely insecure about the fact that his girlfriend/wife is going out without him to have some fun with her friends. I find it sadly pathetic. And Bob is totally his penis. There's nothing worse than a clingy, insecure man.
warrior king. Krull the Warrior King. Forgot to edit. Don't hurt me.
Flargy, I'm gonna make a guess about "aren't I?" I wonder, is this one of the last remnants of the subjuctive form in English? Because it is correct to say, "I wish I were..." not "I wish I was." Because you're supposed to use the subjunctive: were. Maybe someone else who knows more about English grammar can help with this!
Melanie, I'm not sure if you understand true love.
This is something my boyfriend would have wrote to me a few years back when I used to drink. He'd ask me to be careful and use good judgment...
Also, I think it's cute that he says he loves her with all his internal organs... It's like an extention of his heart, because he loves her with more than just his heart. It's an amazing feeling, I have to tell you.
I named my boyfriend's penis "Dinglehopper" which is much better than "Bob" in my opinion.
For those who caught the Disney reference, it was the movie we watched on our first date.
Actually, I do think a mother wrote this. Bob is her second husband, and she said "babe" because it's short for "baby." Just look at her L's. Definitely woman handwriting.
... I know a lot of men who write "like women" and a lot of women who chicken scratch "like men"...
why must handwriting be identified with a particular gender?
just an observation. The way people interpret this note, is coloured by their feelings about current or past relationships.
just sayin
(wrote this yesterday but Found swallowed it en route)
‘love you with all of my heart’ written on the back of a receipt? Hmmm.
When Clover wrote ‘C’est pas moi’ she was obviously using colloquial French. Surely no French person dans la rue would say ‘ce n’est pas moi qui suis’ – even though the French (and Germans) are much better at getting their own grammar right than we are?
Having said which, in my line of work I have to get these things right (or someone will notice it and tell me off), and they do come up quite frequently.
‘It’s you who ARE doing that’
but
‘I’m not the one who IS doing that’ (since the subject of the verb is ‘the one’, not ‘I’ – so Beatrice/Addendum, you were right).
Dear Clover, subjunctives are few and far between in this day and age but I fear ‘aren’t I’ isn’t one of them. I presume ‘Am’n’t I’ is just too hard to say.
It really annoys me when people say ‘if only I was’ instead of subjunctive ‘were’ (and when they get ‘may’ and ‘might’ wrong). Not being sniffy or grammar-Nazi – just that wrong usage impoverishes the language.
Arriving Fashionably Late, thanks for deciphering the back! Someone had to do it.
Sarasara, that sounds like a great book.
There's a Hecht's nearby here. But I don't think they sell any dried goods.
This thought has been keeping me awake all night because I couldn't get through to say it last night.. with the upstream proxy problems at Port 80 and all.
I am just plain thrilled, yes thrilled, at all the struggle and unknotting of language here among us. And in French AND English! Impressive, it is. We are an educated bunch, are we not?.. cuz being educated doesn't mean already knowing everything. It means never getting over being curious. The more you learn, the more you want to know and the best classes are those where you take away more questions than you came in with.
That's what's so great about Found.. the questions we come away with (not to mention our struggle to answer some of them!) Not just grammar, either.
But grammar can be fun, and even more fun in mixed company.
Jonathan is correct about the "street French" -- I wrote it the way it would be said, the way it sounded right to me in speech, and I do know the difference, at least about dropping the "ne". I even debated putting the "ne" in or not, believing someone would probably complain about it, but in the end I swayed toward the spoken form. Also, the omission of "un" was intentional. I was using "dictionnaire" as the French use professions.. without the article. ("Je suis journaliste.") But I did mis-spell dictionnaire. That was a typo. Désolée.
BTW, it is interesting that the French language has the reputation of being so picky about correct usage. From my experience, it is the American professors who learned French in school who are most picky, and cruelly so, than the native French speakers. Whenever I have used native speakers as language resources, they usually shrug their shoulders, and diplomatically say that either way is correct. Believing, I suppose, that it's the communication that counts, like Beatrice said.
CuriousKat, perhaps I AM your mother.. what makes you ask? And yes, there will be a French lesson tomorrow! Wanna sit next to me? We can pass notes in class, written in French of course! with numerous errors, then drop them on the floor for someone to find and submit to Found!
Happy learning, everyone!
oh Clover.. i just love you to bits.
I know 'BoB', too. However, by the time he'd written and gone to send this letter to 'April', he'd fallen in love with 'June'.
English Major, you must be loads of fun at parties. Incidentally, it would greatly improve your chances of achieving your degree if you would take the time to learn the difference between "illicit" and "elicit." Though this find is somewhat illicit, there's no way this guy is going to illicit anything (any more than he would be able to hungry something or bad something, or green something). In short, illicit is an adjective, whereas elicit is a verb. And I never even went to college.
Clover and Jonathan, I'm sure that you are both correct in your belief that "aren't I" is correct based on that silly, archaic subjunctive rule of the English language. I just wish that a couple centuries ago, someone had instituted "amn't I' as the proper phrase. Then we would have heard it all our lives, and it wouldn't sound nearly as retarded as it does when you just say it out of the blue.
2 creepies on a love note, zero creepies on a hate note (next).
Look at the 'y'-s and 'g'-s. Generally guys don't loop their hanging bits like that. Regardless, whoever wrote this note was trying WAY too hard.
guys don't loop their hanging bits... roflmao
"Dry Goods" are non-food products, like fabrics and clothing. (or other stuff that doesn't need refrigeration. (you know, in old Westerns, the Dry goods store was where everyone bought their boots, hats, material for making clothes, and black licorice or pickled eggs from the jars at the front counter.)
So I'm guessing the receipt was from Hecht's, and it was for a couple of shirts, or maybe pairs of jeans.
It looks like all the Hecht's Stores are being swallowed up by Macy's. Bummer.
Actually, who being the subject, am would not be correct, Bea...who am right? How about not getting defensive when you call someone on their grammar, and they call you on yours. This is a forum on the internet. Who cares? You knew what they meant, and this is just for fun.
We all make mistakes as I am sure you are well aware, Flargy.
And, yes, I am fun at parties, but only if we are playing scrabble or bingo or doing something really exciting like sharpening pencils. I know the difference between 'illicit' and 'elicit'... thankyouverymuch. Illicit = unlawful. Elicit = evoke. I graduate in May, just so you know. And if I made anymore mistakes in this post or the above post, I am blaming it on dead week and FINALS. :(
Good day. :)
This reminds me when I was in 9th grade, in El Paso, peeking into the girl's locker room shower (had to crawl 175 feet though dusty air vent/trying not to make a sound. It usually took 90 minutes each way.) I'd pay a million dollars to see those sweaty (hot) MEXICAN GIRLS again with sweat dripping off their nu de bodz, (hee! hee!)..after Mr. Hoskits Track & Field class. You should have seen how much filth/dust I was covered with on those humid dayz. One time I even fainted and woke up seven hours later, AFTER THE SCHOOL WAS LOCKED UP TIGHT....I just slept there that night and ate 9 apples (the only food I could find)...had to make up some lie to explain why I was taking a shower at 6:50am. In the end I got the nerve up to ask out this hot Mex chick, she wasn't even 5 feet tall, we dated for 6 months until some brain from the science club stole her from me cause he had a white '87 300zx (Nissan).
I'm coming back to say that yesterday at work, a new client told me her husband's name is Bob Dick. That was so weird because I'd commented who would name their dick Bob?
Bob is the Jagex cat, and you are lucky to find him.
Actually, I used to work with a girl that was referred to in the lunch room as a "Dick Bob" due to her parking lot escapades. Maybe he named it Bob in hopes that someone would take a hint and provide that service to said member.
ALL of his internal organs...this includes but is not limited to the sleep, the liver, the kidneys, the list goes on and on...
I love you with my kidneys.
Why is it that whenever I see or hear the name April or Crystal (you have to pronounce it Crustuhl) I imagine someone like Joy on 'My Name is Earl'?
English Major,
Try to be less uptight, appreciate creatively worded sentences (not everything is an essay), and read some Gertrude Stein.
M
Thanks for the critiques. I will take your advice into consideration.
I am pretty uptight. And for the most part, I didn't intend for my previous posts to sound so uptight. I just feel when writing (especially online), most people don't understand me... so I overcompensate for clarity's sake. I am too wordy.
What of Stein's work would you recommend first?
i can't wait to be loved with all of someone's internal organs.
Speakeasy = Tyler's!
Has anyone considered that the Author is a non-native speaker? I want for you to have sounds like a mistake someone who speaks English as a second language might make. Also I believe, but can't swear to it, that
I love you with all my heart translates to "I love you with my liver" in Spanish. If not Spanish,I know it translates to that in some other language. BTW, any opinionms why the "s" is so far away from the "e" in the word "love"?
I just wanted to be clear about MY opinion... I don't think April's mom should be involving internal organs with loving her daughter.... (well, the internal organs were probably VERY involved in April's birth -- but I think that they should stay outta things after that!)
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Anyone who likes Gilliam movies, Robert Anton Wilson and Tom Robbins is A-OK in my world.