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November 13, 2007 |
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Doomd
FOUND by Jason H.
in Plainfield, Indiana
My friend and I found this behind a hymnal in church one Sunday. I feel bad for the kid; when I was little I didn't like grown-up church either.
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Surprize! May 20, 2008 |
Meeting a ... July 24, 2008 |
I Wish I Never Told... February 15, 2006 |
Wedding Day December 28, 2003 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
bahahahahahahaha.
love it.
This was not written by a child. It is a desperate final note written by the children's choir director, her grip on sanity weakening chorus by chorus.
Dear me
I hate (church?)
I am trapt here
I am doomd
p.s. pleas help
well, yeah, i guess they summed it up pretty well.
i used to collect strange church experiences in my youth.
for instance, in the span of a one week trip to D.C., I made it to the church of scientology and a pentacostal church, plus had a long talk with the missionaries.
(I couldn't really say which was creepier.
I guess that's why I liked it...)
at first I thought it translated to "dear me, I hate children.."
I think this was written by a kid named Damien.
yeah. this is how i would feel if i was made to go there. good on ya, boy!
I love how the child put the "please" note in the 'please note' space. Such brilliance. Would have been even funnier if it said "Dear God,".
lucky for him his mother didn't catch him writing that!
I read it as "I hate children" as well. I still prefer that reading. I can commiserate. I never really liked the little bastards myself, even when I was one of them. My 'friends' often didn't appreciate it when I connected better with parents and teachers than with my own peers.
The only good memory I have of church is learning to tie my shoes there and yelling it out in the middle of mass. Good times indeed.
poor guy , i fully understand
I read it first as "I hate children" too. If it was in children's church, it could have been written as a protest by one of the teachers...with his/her left hand to disguise the fact it's an adult...
Our apartment has become surrounded by families with tiny kids, as the older folks have died/moved out of the surrounding apartments. If I wanted to listen to the little rats wail, tantrum and fuss, I'd have one of my own. Home soundproofing kit, anyone?
I guess this kid could do what my two boys do at church. Fist fight and push each other off the kneeler (yes, Catholic) Then fight over whether the kneeler should be up or down, thereby slamming it in each direction, much to the dismay of other churchgoers. People stare and point and give me the evil eye. Yes, humiliation will drive you away....
Bwahahahaha! That's rich! I remember feeling the same way about being there, but didn't write hostage notes to myself. Cute kid; hope s/he's able to come out the other side none too scarred.
Ha! I love it. I felt the same way. When I was in church, a dirty leg friend of mine wrote about her latest sexual conquest (the music director) in detail on the church bulletin. I forgot about it and my mom found it in my bible. She just left it on my bed and didn't say a thing.
Poor kid! I hate church too. Once in a while I'll go with my mom to make her happy and the old timers ambush me about why I never go. Which is why I never go.
Yay!!! So glad to see a young child fighting the chains of indoctrination!!! I can only hope he/she escaped and is now free from brainwashing!!!!
I at one time related to how this kid felt, it's funny how when you get older and sin more you come to appreciate church.
This was written by God (why else would a prayer begin 'Dear Me'?). Of course His handwriting isn't very good -- He usually has recording Angels to do that for Him.
I bet it was two kids playing a game in the pew. It gets pretty boring before Children's Church, and kids are always doodling on bits of paper. One kid passes this to another, and the other kid sniggers quietly before writing a ransom note, complete with a skull and crossbones. Used to do it all the time
:-)
I prefer my children not go to church. I'm trying to protect them.
hm. looks like something i would write. except i have better handwriting. :D
and spelling.
i taught in a catholic school for 10 years. i could have written that note. after years of indoctrination, my head asploded, i got a job in a public school and i haven't been to church in seven years.
Funny how when I got older I started to understand why I hated church so much.
If he's Doom, I get to be Extreme Noise Terror.
Flargy, I spit my coffee on the screen. Now stop that. You too, Johnathan.
Melissa who is completely addicted to this site, I don't understand you. You are the only dissenting voice.
Oh, that's mine. Left it in the hymnal last week... Southern Baptist, ya know...
this reminds me alot of my younger self.. my dad is a preacher,and believe me, I could fill books with my notes like these! poor kid. I feel for him :)
I hated church when I was little, too. Now I've found that there are churches where the teaching is relevant, for both adults & kids. Too bad this family doesn't attend one! Is there a Vineyard near Plainfield?
Shelly, did you used to be able to spell, before you went to public education?
asploded... are you serious?
"asploded" is a vernacular something or other - "my head asploded" is a phrase we use here (albeit, "here" is central pa...) - did it come from strong bad? not sure...but it is common. i'm sure it was deliberate.
as for the note - i totally empathize!!!!! and i even worked in a church or many many years. perhaps i was the sexual onquest noted above...???
Dear Me,
I hate work. I am trapped here. I am doomed.
P.S. We need more creamer in the break room.
I did this as a child....now I love church! I agree with Office Mom.
I went to a catholic grade school outside Philly...our principal was a young nun in full habit, Sister Anna Maria. One day she disappeared...rumor had it she left the convent, ran off, got married and pregnant (not sure in which order). Then, lo and behold she came back a year or so later --with her husband and baby, to the same church and sang in the choir. Way to set an example for young impressionable catholic girls!
Mona. You are a judgenmental bitch!
A while back you criticized a post of mine, regarding spelling. Everything in that post was spelled correctly. It was back when there were imposters of you all of the time... I apologized because I thought it may have been an imposter. I no longer believe it was an imposter. Just you and your holier-than-thou attitude.
I like your imposters more than I like you.
Man, this brings back horrible memories of being forced to sit through droll, BS sermons. As if I could learn to be a better person from a holier-than-thou hypocrite. He was a liar and a thief. I stopped going to church around 5th grade. That pastor was later caught with his had in the coffer. What an ass. There is nothing worse than an Christian who acts contrary to the beliefs he/she espouses to.
Well, except the ones that condemn and villify others for the very same acts that they themselves commit. Drives me crazy! GRRR!
maybe it's not a surprise for you, but each Sunday i find photos like in foundwebiste. i go to market-place, where you can buy clothes from secondhands, old furnitures,books and lots of useless things. There is a place where some ugly guy has his stand. There are boxes with glasses, awful pictures, electronic stuff and paperes. These are things, wich as i heard are from bins. And i always find there photos of children,lovers, photos of funerals. So beautifull! They are part of someone's life and there are laying with rubbish. I buy them for 5zł (it's about 1$).
I think it's really sad.
Perhaps only for me.
This note is hilarious!!! I grew up in the church and now I deal with those children, so I totally feel the kid's pain.
My head is going to ersploade if this impostoring bullshit starts up again.
If you've never been witness to a head ourzpleauzion, I can tell you it ain't a pretty sight. Branes everywhere.
With the first word written, all I want to do is sharpen that fucking pencil. It's probably an obnoxious golf pencil, too. Perfect for small hands to use to gouge out their eternally doomd eyes. Crap like this makes me thank God I'm an atheist.
Found stood me up Saturday. I guess I wasn't good enough for you. Met someone else. I see. Well, thanks for nothin'!
Hey brain problem situation, how do you know this Mona is not an imposter also? This could have been me, for I hear I'm known to do that. Deliberate or not asploded does sound stupid.
Office Mom, you do know that the Vineyard church is a Southern Baptist project, designed to steal both your brain and soul behind a veil of delightful programming?
You do?
Just checking...
My mother is a pastor and I absolutely feel for this poor, poor, little kid. I hope at least that he gets to play tag in the sanctuary after services, like I did growing up. My sister and I would also come in during the week and dress up in old curtain-capes and pretend to be princesses, walking down the aisles in the sanctuary and galloping on invisible horses through all the church hallways.
Most of the elders didn't approve.
Kitten in a mitten: "droll" means humorous, so I am sure you meant something more like "dry."
This makes me laugh, because yesterday in government we studied the Supreme Court case Flint vs. Fallwell. It was about Fallwell's parody ad in Hustler magazine for Compote liquor. In it he discusses his first time. He said he was pretty drunk and his mom looked as good as a Baptist whore with a 100 dollar donation. Then they had sex in the outhouse. Too funny! Jerry Falwell, may he ROT IN HELL!
Actually the Vineyard movement began in the Yorba Linda Friends Church in Ca. It's not connected to any Baptist project, but they do believe in adult baptism and have other common beliefs, I'm sure.
However, my point was that if the message of the church is relevant to the attenders (even children), and not just the regurgitated mush of so many churches today, it may have made a difference for this kid and ultimately the community! (As seen through my rose colored glasses!)
I love how the kid is "doomed" hahaha.
that is funny stuff. check out the best blog in the world.
http://reneepussman.blogspot.com
Dear Brain Problem situation in my head:
I guess sarcasm doesn't come across well, in printed form. I'm not judgenmental, i'm the least judgenmental person i know. If you really knew me, you'd know that. I thought it was funny, she being a teacher, and using a word like asploded. It was social commentary, on the relative quality of the 'private' school system, as opposed to the 'public' school system. It was hilarious to me, that after she moved to the public school system, she lost her ability to spell.
I admit that i am a nerd about spelling. But that's my own issue. I never JUDGE people by their ability to spell. EVER. If i made a hateful or hurtful comment to you, it was probably the imposter. If it was marginally funny, then it was me. I do sometimes try to be sarcastic, but, like i said, that doesnt work out well in typing.
My cousin and I used to spell out curse words in the monthly missals at our catholic church letter by letter with our fingers to make the tedium of stnading kneeling and singing songs we (at the time) had no understanding of. Oh the joy of the finger pointing to f and the anticipation of the u! Creative writing never occurred to either one of us but I applaud the young mind for coming up with it.
In response to my "dissent".. I was merely speaking only for myself, as I have noticed that the older (which isnt much) I've become, and the more sin (oh how I admitt) I've committed, there is a part of me that has come to appreciate church, or maybe I just need some self forgivness..Any how, I remember sitting in a Southern Baptist church (although I am Episcopalian) and wanting to gouge my eye balls out, and also passing notes back and forth to my BFF (i think that term "dates" me) on who we thought was cute. So I sympathize with the kid, I just have a certain appreciation for religion now.
I attended twelve years of straight up Catholic school, and while I appreciated being relieved of the horrors of public middle school (we went K-8) they did not succeed in brainwashing me completely! They had me for a time, and when I was confirmed, I really believed most of it, but when I hit college.... I took it off like a coat, dropped it on the floor and walked away from it, never looking back.
I actually really liked church when I was young. We got to bring books with us to read if we wanted to, but only God-themed books. It's just today that church seems bizarre and hypocritical.
Relax, everyone!!!!!! This is not a SPELLING BEE!!!! Holy Christ! LOL!!
Thanks to my Pagan mother, my secular education came from Blood, Sweat & Tears: I swear there ain't no heaven, but I pray there ain't no hell.
Thanks, i've got one hand. I was kinda worked up when I was writing. That was the first thing that came to mind. I'll remember that now, though.
@Confused in church: I had a dear friend who became a Mercedarian nun, was eventually promoted to Mother Superior, and held the job for over 10 yrs. Then she left--walked out on the whole thing--became a Pentecostal and got married. And took her hubby to the convent on their honeymoon!
I bet that caused a commotion in the ranks...
Mona, I thought it was funny.
sarcasm. just another service i offer.
This kid is going places, in terms of his/her sense of humour.
I used to feel the same way as this kid. And then I had a spiritual awakening. It sounds ridiculous, but it's true, and I've never felt better.
Actually, I'm kinda jealous. My mom didn't send me to church as a kid. She said "Oh, I just knew not to bother with you." Now I have nothing to rebel against. (or blame).
it says "Please note..." right there and yet the kid spells it "pleas."
Hey Hillary - I thought the same thing. What a horrible speller! It's like this kid wasn't even looking at the paper while he/she was writing.
MONA-- "asploded... are you serious?"
mona, mona . . . sweet, culturally illiterate mona. go read some homestarrunner.
MONA-- "asploded... are you serious?"
mona, mona . . . sweet, culturally illiterate mona. go read some homestarrunner. i'm not sure you should be allowed out on the interwebs by yourself.
Shelly, you're an idiot, leave mona alone. even though "asploded" is the vernacular wherever you come from it's completely stupid. Do you say aks instead of ask too?
(Ever notice how "church" related Finds bring out the intolerance in people?) Hahaha!
So hostile! I think we should just appreciate the find for what it is. It's kind of adorable but frightening at the same time. I also read it first as I hate children...hilarious
written by Jonathan Edwards' son as his father preached "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God"
Turbo is that true? How disappointing.
8-(
I'll still buy you a beer if you want to come down to Dallas next month.
I remember feeling that way too when I was a kid, but I never wrote myself a note about it- complete w/a "P.S." of all things.
Cute.
Poor kid... those sermons can get pretty tiresome if the dude says the same thing over and over again, and I have only been to church for other people's babies' christenings and weddings and funerals.
culturally illiterate? i find that a little harsh. At least i'm not aliterate.
I can google homestar runner.
wow, this got a little rugged quickly. "Why can't we be friends?"
To baby basil: or their right hand, if they were left handed (like me)
to the other Spider: what the hell? you can't steal my name? well...I guess techincally you can..but you shouldn't.
Sorry man, can't help it, but I've enjoyed the comments today and so have a few others (admit it). The last couple of days have been depressing, guess I crave a little conflic. Asploded does sound stupid though.
Awwww Turbo, and I was feeling all dejected and guilty that I was on vacation and missed it! They didn't even show?
What's the dealio, Found guys- are you planning a makeup date? Because if so, I really wanna be there!:)
Pepper, sorry, but wtf is a "dirty leg friend"?
Norma, who are you to judge Melissa? To each his/her own. Judge not, lest ye be judged.
I went to a hellfire and brimstone baptist church in my childhood, complete with terriflying, screaming, red-faced, pulpit- pounding preacher,just because they were the ones who sent around a bus to pick the (*victims*) kids up, and it was the only time Mom got to herself. I still have nightmares.
Now 'scuze me while my head asplodes.
Turbo, you made me laugh out loud (very, very loudly) when you said, "thank God I'm an Atheist." Now THAT is humor!! (or Humour, if you prefer.)
Oh. And Mona is most certainly allowed on the internets by herself. She's not culturally illiterate. She's Canadian. Condescending jerks.
I agree: the "religious" or church finds cast light on our intolerant natures. But WHY? Religion is an improper response to the Divine.
And finally, for those of you who were feeling jilted: It wasn't you. They LOVE YOU. The official tour vehicle of the Found Tour, Big Red, suffered a broken axel and something else "dooming". Photographic evidence can be Found at http://www.zannel.com/foundtour.
They have a new van, but I honestly don't know how the problems have affected the tour schedule.
OK then. I think that's all I've got for now.
how boring must a town called PLAINFIELD be?
I read this out loud to multiple people like a second ago.
I think there's something creepy yet hilarious about it at the same time.
I, too, thought it said "I hate children" at first.
Baha.
I wasn't gonna say this, because it's just "so much shameless self promtotion.." but for those of you who feel you missed out on the Found Event experience, feel free to read my vicarious Found Experience blog. myspace.com/chrome_toaster.
Scroll down to the post titled "FOUND!" The only thing is.. there was no beer or whine.. so bring your own while you read.
Considering that the Found/PostSecret Tour has now begun, well, it might not bode well for those missed shows. (I know what let's do... Let's ALL go to Texas and make Nightingale buy us beers!! bwahahahahaha!)
Chromy, that's brave. Better go and hide in the closet from all those visitors clomping through your blog!
When I get to a Found event with you I promise to bring beer and not whine.
@ Spider Gomez: You're absolutely right (or rather, left). Point well taken. Poor me, I'm ambidextrous, disguising my handwriting is hard...I have to really *work* at it. My brother can hold a pencil in each hand and write in both directions at once.
Captain, a dirty leg is a slut, and I guess I am judgmental. I'm a recovering baptist and sometimes I forget my manners, sorry. Calling Mona Canadian is condescending, but I laughed anyway. I can't believe you've never heard of dirty leg before.
That's funny, now that I am grown up, I still don't like grown up church. :-\
You're condescending when you say someone is Canadian, Pepper/Norma Jean?? That's funny, because I do the same when I say someone's american. "oh you can't blame him, really, he's only an american.. poor dear"
p.s. i didnt know what a 'dirty leg' was, either, i assumed that it is what you said it was, but had never heard the term before.
p.p.s. why do you post as norma jean, and pepper? or more to the point, why do you now admit to doing that?
Mona, I figured yall (especially you) knew about the spilt personality. I'm others too, but those I won't reveal. My Michigan friend calls Canadians mushheads. Is that common knowledge? I went on Chromes myspace and see you are a friend, but you have a private profile. Will you deny me if I request being a friend? I've not established a page yet. My brother used to call me a dirty leg, he also called me queer bait.
Hey Toaster, I checked out your myspace too. According to your musical tastes, you should check out my friend Dexter Romweber. I think he has a myspace page, and youtube stuff. You too Clover, you'd like him.
Thanks, Tang.. you're right- I dig 'em!
And just out of curiosity, is your name Tang, in somewhere that starts with a t, or is it Tang in someone's tea, or is it a play on the word Tangent? Because if it's a play on the word Tangent, it's strangely coindidental for me this week.
Chromy, you're on the wavelength with Shirley Temple and the magic messages from a few days back. Stay tuned in, trust the magic. Believe! Nothing is tangential, everything figures.
Either that or it's past my bedtime again.
Pepper... you're a complicated person.
There is another Pepper in this house.
i have trust issues.
Will the real pepper please stand up?
My myspace friends are staying as is right now. I have to respect their privacy as well as my own.
It's Tangent, Toast!
As much as I LOVE Tang, "Tangent" is even better. thanks for the reply.
Mona, this is the real Pepper. I have a runaway teenager (cousin's kid) staying with us (long story) right now who jacks with my Found and other things. Hopefully he won't be here much longer.
So wait, every time the pepper's in Uranus, it's the runaway teenager, and if it's in Urnose, it's the real pepper? is that how it goes?
well, pepper... until i know for sure, who you are, or who is you and who ain't you... i'm so confused...
But that's the best explanation i've seen for an impostor poster so far.
Mona, it is what it is and I'm so tired I don't even care anymore. When I was 12 my family took in a troubled cousin and she taught me how to roll a joint. (12 years old)
Needless to say she didn't stay very long.
i hope you're not perpetuating history, Pepper, and your kids don't learn something strange/unwanted. You're a good person, for taking in cousin/nephew/whatever. Get some sleep. Take some time away, have a few drinks. Something.
He's gone, told him he had to go this morning. Problem solved.
Well there you go. Problem solved now you know pepper's telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So when s/he-it asks for your bank account number and home address, it's all good. You can trust pepper.
i sent him the account number, i'll just give him my PIN now, and it'll all be good.
(Well there you go. Problem solved now you know pepper's telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. So when s/he-it asks for your bank account number and home address, it's all good. You can trust pepper.) Pepper here, I like your form of sarcasm (very witty) and was believble in print. It takes a special person the come across believedly. can't imagine why yall wouldn't NOT, I worry about you if you didn't. Love the post.
that last post was sent accidently.I wasn't near to send it. Thus all the rambiling. Your sarcasim was apparent in print. No offence. Hard to too. Fuck this I just got home and it's bed time. I wouldn't trust me either.
you're drunk
LOL Mona! true 'dat.
I wasn't near to send it. I sent it by telekinesis. Hard two to tooooo...ZZZZzzzzzz
WTF? I wasn't even home last night, somebody's having fun and they've posted on each recent find. Oh well, what goes around comes around.
re Polska: "So beautifull! They are part of someone's life and there are laying with rubbish.(...)I think it's really sad. Perhaps only for me."
Nope, I think finding old photos and other memorabilia is sad and beautiful, too. Estate sales, where you walk through a dead person's house and buy their stuff, are especially creepy/ fascinating.
(Pretty sure most people on this site feel that way, too.)
THAT IS FROM MY CHURCH! I just found out about found today and i scrolled back a few days... and was like that looks familiar....CRAZY how small this world is...
This brought back memories. My dad was a pastor and my brother and I always passed notes in church. We would sometimes get "children's bulletins" that would have activies like "Draw what you would give to Jesus if he came to your house."
We would always draw bombs and guns, etc.,
then cross out "Jesus" and write "Hitler" or "Saddam Hussein" so we wouldn't feel guilty.
Hannabelle, I'm glad your mom let you gallop around even if the others didn't approve.
I want to go to the bazaar with ja i wszyscy których znamy.
Like Mona, I have never heard anyone say "asploded." I live in the Pacific Northwest.
"Religion is an improper response to the Divine." Captain, did you think that up yourself? It's great!
'Net proves there's magic again!
Tang in t, I'll be checking out Dexter Romweber soon! Aren't you the drink of the astronauts?
Happy Thanksgiving!
Pepper sound's drunk no matter who it is.
It seems like this comment will probably not be read, but anyway...
This is my favorite find of all time. I'm a seminarian, and we joke about church a lot more than most church people think is appropriate. Gallows humor, I guess? My facebook profile links here, and an image of this find hangs on my door.
Emily- I read your comment! (and find great humor in it)
I think that this comment section contains reason number four explaining why there are multiple peppers. Considering that this past week Pepper has begun to re-emerge (from hiding? hibernation? witness protection? who knows) on the Found comment board, this seems significant.