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September 10, 2009 |
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But I Loved Your Bed
FOUND by Al
in the corner of Drumm & Sacramento, San Francisco, CA
I was out on a walk during lunch and found this note on the sidewalk, blowing in the breeze.
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Anger Management February 08, 2007 |
She Cannot Get Mad February 20, 2007 |
A+ February 02, 2007 |
Fame is Easy December 29, 2006 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
Now THAT's an excellent example of the lost art of Thank-You notes. The context and handwriting indicate that she is from Italy, where apparently written appreciation is still important to some people.
Beds are realy important,she showed well due respect to the things that are most important.
(i.e the bed)
Okay, it's a great note, but I was wondering whether it was written by a homeless person who had broken into someone's vacation cabin rather than by a legitimate house-sitter. What do I know?
Somebody's been sleeping in MY bed...and oh, look, she left a thank you note.
Yea, it was great having you here... until you sh*t on the toilet seat!
I loved your bed so much, that I invited my friends to come share it. Hope you don't mind the mess we left on the sheets.
Come on hurry up and get to Rome already!
PS
Please excuse the mess on the toilet seat, as I have little control over my bowels and the washroom at the deli that I usually use has been closed to the public.
Awww! I wuv the wittle doggy!!
She's carrying the image of WHAT? the men running on the Bay Bridge? She should truck on over to Berkeley/Emeryville/Oakland some early AM and she'll carry an entirely different image.
San Francisco is the most beautiful city I've ever visited. Even the homeless bums under the overpass were neat and tidy.
She even left them food. That's a nice house guest, obviously raised up right.
I was wondering when the 1st of Moron was...
(I know it's March)
@Kurt Wild in the Velvet Goldmine
I think she is carring the image of the Sun Rising on the bay bridge.
And what is it with stuff blowing down California's sidewalks, anyway? This Find was "on the sidewalk, blowing in the breeze" in San Francisco. Yesterday we had a Los Angeles homeless guy's "open bag with things spilling out, this polaroid blowing away."
Well, at least people are picking up this conbustible material so it doesn't feed the wild fires.
Looks like there's a phone number on the back (upper left corner) 872-8946? Maybe.
Librarian, where I live, the wind's almost always blowing. (And if you're riding a bicycle, it doesn't matter which direction you're headed- you're facing a head wind.-- I think that's because of the dome they put over our fair city because of all the glowing toxic waste-- EEEPA!)
I digress. That steady, constant wind blows many a Find down the street.
ouldn't wait to get back to the States, to the cutest girls in the worl
I bet its that deal where people switch houses for a vacation..house swap.com or something..wow.. and snatching the note off the counter, shoving it folded into his back pocket.. he left the apartment in a flurry..forgetting his jacket..noticing THAT only when the wind began to blow..Head down, he trudged toward his girlfriend's apartment..that pompous italian BITCH! that note! jesus what an idiot! the place had been a wreck when he had returned..and wtf..no pasta..none..it was obvious immediately she had stolen from him..favorite afghan? GONE. picture taken of latrice and himself..elvis impersonator between them, pulling them closer with his huge meaty..satin and sequined covered arms..red of the casino lobby in the background? GONE. He had almost lost it when, staring vacantly into the fish tank..icantbelievethatbitchherapartmentwassooooshit internal rant screeched to a sudden halt..stepping closer to the tank, stooped over with a look like dog that hears a sound you cant..jesus christ superstar..fish? GONE. that pretty much brings us to present day moment..on his way to latrice's apartment..what was SUPPOSED to be a bow chicka bow bow porno reunion? was now gonna be a bitchfest..charts and graphs..overhead projector..all brought in to better illustrate the focus of the bitchfest..REVENGE. ROMAN REVENGE..white hot hate seethed thru him as he..head down against the wind..that DAMN wind!!! comin' up from LA like that!!!...he..almost lost his footing, stepping down off the curb just as a truck was turning into the lane of traffic..HOOOONNNNNKKKKK...said the truck..oh yeah? oh..oh..seriously buddy? really? cause you ont know me, and wow..really? he threw his left hand backandup behind his head..gesturing wildly at the truck..not looking..just stabbing the windy WINDY air with his one finger..and the rest of his hand..he didnt notice the note had, at that moment, fallen from his back pocket..he didnt notice anything until he got to latrice's apartment and when he discovered the note's disappearance..well, he took it all out on poor latrice..and she liked it. alot.
lalalalalalalalalaicanthearyoulalalala: you can't hear us and we're not listening to YOU.
(We either need sleep or cold amber colored beverages.)
That was my first thought too. Thank goodness I didn't just ramble on about it. What in the world did any of that mean? Granted, it's 3:30 a.m. here and I'm drunk too...but jeeze...you might as well right it in Australian. Isn't that the saying? Might as well be Australian to me. I'm gonna go find my afghan---or borzoi---as they like to be called now and curl up for a nice sleep. Hopefully the bitchfest won't resume. I'd sure hate to miss any of it.
And Yes, Latrice needs to be shot.
"...well, he took it all out on poor latrice..and she liked it. alot."
That was the only part of that punctuationally* and paragraphically challenged story that I actually absorbed. And I am now, somehow, curiously aroused.
Like when I listen to Dave Gahan's Deeper and Deeper.
(*It's a word. Flargy said so. It's in the Lexicon. And I'm nominating the other one, so there.)
Gee....do you think they, uh, 'did it?' In the bed?
Where is that Flargy-bargy these days?
Definitely a San Francisco feel to this note.