 |
October 29, 2009 |
|
 |
|
|
Not a Toilet
FOUND by Emerson
in Silverlake, Los Angeles, California
I spotted this in an alley. I can imagine the frustration that went into it.
Sign in or register to start a profile and keep track of your comments. You may also post without creating a profile, but you'll have to answer some tough spam protection questions.
In Other Words June 09, 2002 |
Grand New York November 19, 2005 |
Unrequited Love July 09, 2007 |
Right To Remain... August 02, 2006 |
 |
|
 |
         |
We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
Shouldn't this sign read "NO TRESPISSING" instead, then?
Where can I get a sign like this? I'll nail it to a tree at the bottom of the hill.
"So that's why I started dumping my RV waster here." Said my crazy Uncle "Cause when someone tells me not to... well I always say Fuq em."
It's them blasted ferrets running loose in the city again! They take toilet liberties whenever the fancy strikes. Confusticate those sneaky rodents.
Gives a whole new meaning to the UK phrase, "Taking the piss."
Actually, though, where I live we've been having the same problem...people defecating in public places. It makes the Humane Society's new "curb your dog" campaign even more ironic. Their posters show a cartoon drawing of an angry dog giving its master a pooper-scooper and underneath the words, "Does your dog have to tell you what to do?"
@Doctor Jones in dy -
I think you meant "NO TRESHATTING"
Police 1: Sir, didn't you see the sign?
Public Pooper: But I had to take a shit.
Police 1: Nevertheless - no time to wipe - pull up your pants we're taking you downtown.
Public Pooper: Awesome. They have a toilet there don't they!
Police 1(to Police 2): Ok Rookie. Bag that specimen. We need to take it in as evidence.
Police 2: Can't we just take a picture?
Police 1: No ...(mockingly) weee caan't just take a picccture... Now pick that shit up we gotta go.
Police 2: Oh man - I lost track - there's so many piles of shit back here I can't tell which one he dropped.
Police 1: Goddamnit! It's that steaming fresh one right there by your foot....
Dang those passive-aggressive people!
So, Uh, Eusta B.. is that your mail carrier again?
http://www.foundmagazine.com/comments/1094
http://www.foundmagazine.com/comments/3195
They're ALL from California! Which doesn't surprise me. One lovely afternoon at the park in Emeryville, some smelly old bum who appeared to have just shot heroin (or something similar) dropped his pants and started taking a dump in the middle of the walkway. And there was a port-a-potty about twelve steps away.
HA! Personal anecdote! Go back two spaces. Lose a turn.
"Ich verstehe dieses Schild nicht."
"Machts nichts. Es sagt etwas von 'Toilette'. Siehst du?"
"Na ja! Wann Mann gehen mussen, Mann mussen gehen."
"Heu! Ich bin aus hier heraus."
...although as it was found in Los Angeles, the conversation was likely in Spanish.
WARNING: If you get caught in my state relieving yourself in public & are convicted, you have to register as a sex offender.
Not understanding or speaking German at all beyond being (??) able to identify Librarian's post as being IN German, naturally I turned to Yahoo's Babelfish for all my translating needs. C&P post into translator. Translate German to English:
" I understand this sign nicht." " Machts nothing. It says something of ' Toilette'. Do you see? " " Well! When go to man mussen, man mussen gehen." " Hay! I am out here heraus."
so then I translated from German to French,then French to English and got this
; I include/understand this sign nicht." ; " ; Machts nothing. He says something of ' ; Toilette' ;. Do you see? " ; " ; Na yes! When l' man mussen, go to man gehen." mussen; " ; Hay! I am heraus." here;
I especially like the constipated "wink" at the beginning of that one.
@Nothing: Apparently John Wayne speaks German. My German is wobbly at best, but there's a line in there that reads, "When a man's gotta go, a man's gotta go."
Translators are delightful. If you ever have "nothing better to do," just type sentences in the translator and translate them back and forth to see what you'll end up with. I've discovered that in the Japanese translator, "gnome" translated back to "norm" and "sky" became "nul."
In summary: Translators are not to be trusted. They are solely for the purpose of entertaining losers like me.
A lot of the results at Engrish.com must be the result of untrustworthy translators, whether human or computer generated. Highly entertaining, but you're right- entertainment purposes only. (really? are we losers because we're so easily and cheaply entertained by things like online translators and Found Magazine? I have to disagree.)
When babelfish first came out (or at least when I first heard of it) my friends and I would put song lyrics, poems, or nursery rhymes in and translate them from language to language, then back to English. Hilarity ensued.
This find is in-and-of-itself amusing and all, but it's like the fifth such "winos, please stop crapping in my garage k thx bye" letter I've seen here. And these letters are always from Portland* or LA, both very "bum-friendly" locales. Basically, I've just had it with these fucking bums. They are truly subhuman and the next time one of these fucks talks shit at me for not cheerfully handing over crack/malt liquor money, I'm probably gonna beat them and possibly carve them up (if I have any reason to doubt the presence of blood-borne pathogens), but I'd almost certainly murder one of these useless turds for repeatedly befouling my property.
*I recently saw a documentary on Portland's smack-addled "street kids" (jackass hipster Midwestern emigres) and can tell you with a straight face that I see no downside when they overdose or get nabbed by serial killers. Fuck 'em.
Don't hold it in, Go Kart...and don't use such prissy, technical language.
Yeah, Go Kart.. don't get yerself all revved up like a douche.
You should be aware that your email address and IP address are logged whenever you post for all eternity, so making actual murder threats is probably ill-advised.
"Revved up like a douche." Nice.
Where did I make a murder "threat"? I know enough to never make a serious murder threat. I was mostly just talking shit, but the guy who wrote this sign doesn't seem to be. If I were those bums, I'd skedaddle pronto.