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October 17, 2009 |
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Strong Letter to Follow
FOUND by Robin
in Gramercy Book Table Street Fair, Manhattan, New York
This Was tucked into a book about interiors on a book table. Not sure what it is, simple form you send out to get paid or what? Then I looked up if people even sent telegrams anymore ... not since Feb 2006 according to Wikipedia.
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
Telegram Finds were better in the old days.
http://www.foundmagazine.com/comments/2253
Hmmmm...."fuck you" doesn't seem to be the place to start when you're hoping to get money out of a recalcitrant customer, somehow. One of those things you might WANT to say, though, for sure...
I love you guys, and I've never once said this in all my Found Hound career, but....
.
.
.
FAKE!
I think one slipped through the Ultimate Find Authenticator 3000.
sick in tired, good on ya for using "recalcitrant." one of my favorite words EVER. (my imagainary band: Recalcitrant Heroes.)
Strong letter to follow? 'Fuck you' isn't strong enough?
PSsshhhhttt....
I'll ask of you the same question I asked my other creditor, who was up-to-date enough to use the recent telphonic invention "What are you going to do, take me to court and strip me of the only item in my name, a 1992 Plymouth Voyager Mini-van? I'll go ahead and warn you now, it needs an oil change, and the brake lights don't work."
Another passive/aggressive note.
I ain't got no stinkin' money.
Well, it certainly ain't no real telegram. None of the spaces at the top of the form are filled in, for example.
And telegrams, as the finder checked into, haven't been delivered to the door for years (they were delivered over the telephone there at the end). REAL telegrams had the words printed out on thin strips of paper that were pasted to the message sheet. The message wasn't printed on the form (the sender could write it out, it if wasn't dictated to the telegraph operator).
That said, my compatriots here are right: the expletive is more what the tardy bill payer would say to the lender, rather than something the collector would say to the jerk who wasn't paying her bills.
And adding "PLEASE pay your bill"??? Oh, please! Like that'll help?
Neither a lender nor a borrower be.
I think the strongest letter of all is T. But I'm hoping that the strong letter that followed was R, then followed by the word self. Or mother.
Or something.
People were still sending telegrams in 2006? Really?
OvCOARSE it's a fake telegram. But it's not a fake Find if Robin found it in a book.
Funnily enough I was just looking at the state of my income and thinking I could use a few of these!
Though I agree 'Fuck You' is a bit unhelpful. A soft answer turneth away wrath.
Yeah, I miss telegrams. Exam successes, birthdays, desperate girlfriends, that sort of thing. It's a part of our collective culture that's lost and gone for ever (like the British postal service any day now).
PS @ Nightingale -- thanks for that trip down memory lane! I'd forgotten all our comments back then (including our much missed chum).
Best. Stop. Telegram. Stop. Ever. Stop.