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September 25, 2009 |
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Hey Fuck Face
FOUND by Ellen Lawrence Skagerberg
in Santa Rosa, California
I found this note in the parking lot of the Redwood Gospel Mission Thrift Store. There weren't any obvious entrances or exits for a car to block, so the event probably happened elsewhere. And the thrift store people are all very nice.
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The Final Word... March 13, 2006 |
Love Billy ... October 23, 2008 |
Model Citizen August 28, 2007 |
Buy Shit... July 25, 2008 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
I think the last line, beginning with "The World...", should be the first lesson to all kids, given the first year of high school and every year after that. Many people waste years and hurt others before they learn that lesson.
A line from the book _Elephant Have Right of Way_ - "If today I have taught you that life is unfair - I have indeed done a great thing."
Gotta love a good your-parking-sucks note. No beating around the bush here! And no chance this is will be called passive-aggressive. Nope, none at all. Pure aggression all the way! If the writer and recipient were to have met where the offending car was parked fists would have flown. And all for the sake of the kiddies.
I know Jack Shit. He is my boss. He has heard every possible insulting connotation that includes his name. Still, we endeavor to come up with new ones. It gives us a small revenge at work. Oh yeah, about the find;I agree with both of the posts above.
Well, yes, it DOES look like a designated parking spot. That's why I parked here.
If it actually is an "entrance/exit", I'm most terribly sorry for having inconvenienced those patrons attempting (successfully, it appears) to pass through.
Still, I question your contention that members of the younger generation will suffer serious injury or death because of my having parked here. Do you actually believe that these young people should be playing in an active driveway? Seems a less than admirable choice of recreation spots to me, one you might well reconsider.
Thank you very much.
It's sort of interesting that the writer is telling the parker to "grow up" when the note itself contains terms such as "fuck face."
Parking lot rage!
Jack Smith actually has a very rare form of Coprolalia Tourette's Syndrome that is expressed only when he writes - this is what he meant to say.
Hey Friend!
This is not a designated parking area. It is the entrance and exit to our store.
Unfortunately, you are blocking egress to the building.
A number of our customers have children, and we are worried about them not being seen by oncoming traffic if they run around your vehicle while it is there.
We have to call the towing service in the future.
I'm sorry about your self-loathing dwarfism, please don't be angry.
Cheers!
Jack Smith
nd besides," she added, hardly slurring her words, "I ain't never had no valentine, ain't never been nobody's valentine, and ain't no one ever gonna be my valentine. Ever. Perio
HPD, thank you for translating the letter from the person with that most unfortunate condition.
Yeah! Be a grown up--call people you don't even know bad names, be overly aggressive, cuss a lot,make assumptions about others' actions and motivations, assume you know what's going on in their minds.
Terrie, is that lyrics from Steve Martin's Grandmother's Song?
"You want kids to get hurt or Die so you can park where you please?"
If it's a very good spot, yes.
@hiplainsdrifter
I think you got one part wrong in your translation. "We have to call the towing service in the future." should actually be "If you park here again, and someone has it towed, I will gladly pay your towing fees."
Was this the car that had its tires stolen?
"Oh the world owes me a livin'"
Uh, that's Mr. Fuck Face.