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May 16, 2009 |
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Up Here, Mister
FOUND by Country Bumpkin
in Somewhere in the south
I found this on the sidewalk of a store I shop at.
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Here Is a Larger... January 17, 2006 |
The Nap June 16, 2005 |
I Want Your Life December 19, 2008 |
Love January 16, 2007 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
P.S. It's a glandular condition and I can't help it.
Signed,
Richard
Of course they can hear him.
Damn straight.
To do list:
Pick up milk
Buy more paperclips
Do the boob girl
Ms Bigguns,
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me. It's rude.
Signed,
Bossman
One has to wonder whether it is her attire which is encouraging Mr. Bossman's behaviour. Although, when boobs are above a certain size, NOTHING disguises them.
Are they in any way like the oversized clip on your memo paper ... which is to say, fake?
Oh, stop, wait a minute Mister Boss Man,
Way-ay-ay-ait Mr Boss Man.
Oh Mr Boss Man, look at me,
I have two eyes and two ears you see.
My boobs can't hear and they just don't care,
Talk to the face you can see up there.
I've been waiting to hear you speak
To the ears, not the boobs you freak
But since you don't, I wrote a letter
To see you could behave a little better...
Nancy always had something written across the front of her shirt, and she always caught Mr. Bossman trying to read it. He would always blush and look away, but it was getting very distracting.
Sorry Ms Buxom.
I'm like a deer in the headlights when I talk to you.
(Is it chilly in here?)
And by the way, please stop intentionally walking too close to me so your arm rubs my ass every time we pass. Might not be so bad if you were in any way attractive, but as it is...
Poor, passive/aggressive girl. She wants to be adult enough to tell Bossman to shape up and just can't bring herself to do it. Even if Bossman saw the note, he wouldn't recognize himself.
Can you even believe this note writer works for someone named "Bossman"? What are the odds?
And the southern Finder is named "Country Bumpkin"? What were Mr and Mrs Bumpkin thinking??
Boobs have faces?
Fond memory: A gal at the mall was wearing a shirt that said something,.. I don't remember what. I was trying to be subtle while also trying to read it. She copped a Cali-girl attitude and said (loud enough to draw attention to herself) "uh, have you never seen a girl's CHEST before?".
I looked at her tenderly and said: "Sweetheart, I'm gay. But even if I were straight, I wouldn't be interested in looking at your chest. I was reading your shirt. Did you know that all those letters put together actually MEAN something? <smile>"
She quietly said "faggot" or something else insightful. (By the way, I'm not gay).
oh man, I hear you, letter-writer. A tip that I've found helps: try injecting ridiculous facial expressions into every sentence you say, and then they can't help but look at your face, wondering what the hell you're doing and whether you're insane.
@NightCleaner, of course it is her fault he is staring, whose else would it be, right?
Dear Miss Smileyface -
Have you ever heard of the phrase "butterface"
as in "nice Boobs butterface is a mess?" That's you -
Sinseriously,
The Bossman (I'm the Boss)
PS - Your annual review (minus a vowel and a consonant) is in a couple weeks. See what you can do to improve your attitude when we meet in the suppy closet to discuss your raise.
This has happened to me -- (now I understand -- I'm a butterface!!)
Some people (yeah, I've only noticed male people doing this...) get so -uh- captivated(?) that I've wondered if this phenomenon could be used for a 'disguise' during a crime?
(Passing bad checks or something comes to mind.) Well, not disguise -- maybe a diversion?
....pay no attention to the face above the distraction....
Jesus Christ, the amount of misogyny in the comments here is suddenly really revolting.
It's "her fault" he stares at her breasts. It's "what she was wearing." F---ing right it is. Too f---ing right. *EYEROLL*
OMG it's like this http://itsthelist.wordpress.com which is all about lists.
Still amused made me laugh and snort out loud.
Dear Ms. Buxom
The reason they can't hear me is my head is not close to them...lets work on resolving that.
Mr. Bossman
@Camelia: Kind of like the man who put gold tinfoil all over his teeth before going in to rob a bank? All the witnesses remembered about him was those shiny teeth. So maybe a well-endowed lady bankrobber could use what "Modesty Blaise" described as "the Nailer": going in topless, which "nails" the attention of all men for long enough to do whatever it is...usually, in Ms Blaise's case, zipping in and killing/rescuing someone. She was kind of like James Bond with cleavage...check out the comics and novels of the late Peter O'Donnell.
Lol I would have burst out laughing if I found this. but would have been more interested in finding out who wrote it :-)
Mr Bossman, my eyes are NOT PINK!!
If I came to work in a skin tight speedo would it help? - The Bossman
Little does she know her boss hired her boobs...not her face.
Dear Ms. Righteous Hooters,
Get back to work, sweetheart. And please no more snotty notes, unless they are accompanied by a blowjob or a delicious pastry of some sort. And you wonder why I only pay you 75% of what I pay the men around here!
Thanks : )
Hooters, hooters, yum yum.
Hooters, hooters, on a girl that's dumb...
Hooters, hooters, big and small.
Hooters, hooters, I love 'em all.
Modesty Blaise!
Orinoco, you are a genius. Had forgotten about her after all this time.
And Varoomshka? Remember her? I may even still have the poster somewhere (though the T shirt is long gone).
I had a boss like this. I used to carry a folder into his office and hold it across my chest, so he'd have to look at my face. It didn't matter what I was wearing, he just couldn't take his eyes off them. It's not like I am a hot 20 year old either, I am a chunky mid 40s woman. I do have pretty fabulous boobs but my work was even better than them and I didn't dress to flaunt them! Men just get mezmerized easily.