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March 05, 2009 |
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Your Cat Situation
FOUND by Avery
in Memphis, TN
Found in Midtown.
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Puppie Love November 17, 2008 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
I know this feeling. At one point, a neighbor that had 14 cats...about half inside/half outside. Not bad cats, but annoying. The neighbor on the other side had 4 baying dogs in the backyard and they would slip out at will and charge anything/anyone in sight. Guess which ones I called animal control on? They are down to a pit bull that kept me away from my car yesterday morn. I'll take an annoying cat over a vicious dog any day.
You're lucky animal control would do anything, Shell. They wouldn't do jack about the perpetually-barking dogs that literally surrounded my last house, and eventually caused me to have to move.
I agree. Cats are way less annoying. Though I can understand the frustration with the pee. A neighbor had a cat for a while that liked to spra into my air conditioning unit. The smell would get sucked through the whole house.
I do wanna clarify that I love both cats and dogs, but believe firmly that dogs should be seen and not heard, and that cats do need to be monitored and not let roam freely. Though a leash law for cats is effing ridiculous, IMO.
ortunately, there was a lab just around the corner, and they were always looking for som
"I understand that you may have 1 or 2 personal cats that you want to keep..." ROFLOL
Is a personal cat anything like those purse-dogs that the idle rich carry around with them?
I lived with a cat for 10 wonderful years. You don't own a cat...nobody *owns* a cat. You share a house with them, and if you're not careful you end up paying rent to them.
I need a new personal cat...
nd they're absolutely delicious, if properly prepared. The tricky part is making sure to remove any residual fur, especially aroun
And that's EXACTLY why I live way back here in the Hundred Acre Wood, surrounded by miles of empty cornfields. I love dogs, cats, and small children; it's their irresponsible owners I can't abide. I would never be able to live in town (in a city, forget it!); sooner or later, I'd snap and it wouldn't be a pretty picture.
@ Farmer ... re: first your comment ... reminds me of something I saw in the newspaper recently. There's a cat rescue shelter hereabouts that recently found a bag of doemestic mice on its porch in the morning. About 14 or so. 'Yummy treats' you might think (as would the recently rescued cats at the shelter). But no! This being a humane operation, they had set about finding homes ready to adopt the mice in ones or twos. Homes known to have pet snakes need not apply. True story.
@ baby basil ... that's the phrase that jumped out at me, too: "personal cats".
And then there's the "leash law they have to abide to [sic] like every other pet."
Does that include dead parrots? [cue the Pythons!]
Anyone who had a neighbor's cat pee on their car at least once will understand the writter of this note. I sure do...
I have the same problem with some kids in my neighborhood in the summertime, except we don't have a leash law for them.
No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
* That one's for you Librarian. *
@ Mountain Girl... From your other post, it sounds like you have your hands full with "marking" problems - even out there in the country. And I'm not accusing you of being an irresponsible owner
Rod,
Unless you're an old lady and/or you stay home all day, there's no reason to have more than 2 cats. Get rid of the rest.
Current problems with the cats:
* THEY ARE CATS
The rule about having no more than 2 cats is probably applicable to any animal you'd want to keep as a pet. Except for fish, I suppose.
Rod can't come to the door now. He haz dead we are eating him.
@ Feeling in coherent: Yeah, I'm seriously thinking about sending my two "pet pigs" to the pound. More trouble than they're worth. But I'm going to keep my 2 cats & 2 dogs.
This list looks cut off - here's what is farther down the list:
* They come in my house and make sandwiches.
* They go through my drawers and closets.
* They take my loose change
* They borrow my underwear
* The give me dirty looks and say PSSHHttttt! when I tell them to stay out of things.
* They make notes on clipboards and don't tell me what they are writing.
* Their collective purring has crack the foundation on my house.
* They drank my last beer
But, but, there were only 2 cats when I moved in. I don't know where the rest of them came from. They just seem to appear. I don't understand it.
MMM Farmer's making me HONGRAY! deee-lish!
You should see my "business cat".
Librarian, dear, let me try to explain. First there are the Tom Cats. They're the ones who do the spraying. Whether it's to warn away other Toms (wow, does it stink!)or to announce to the ladies that they're prowling the neighborhood looking for some action, I really don't know. They create a deafening racket, too, for the same above reasons.
Then there are the Pussies. They're the ones that perch on the window sill and raise such a caterwaul. This is because Toms are so brutal with their love-making that the Pussies are trying to get in the house and hide. Any house will do. But once they're inside, they change their minds and start yammering to be let out again, because in truth, they really want it.
So if you only have two Pussies, and they haven't been "fixed," inevitably a Tom will have his way with them, and kittens will magically appear in about 2 months. And at age 4-5 months, kittens beget more kittens, beget more kittens, beget more kittens....
P.S. I know you know all this. I'm juss messin widja.
In most places, cats are considered "free roam" animals and are not subject to leash laws.
Spay your pussies, neuter your toms.
Hiplainsdrifter, you made me snort raspberry yogurt. No one has ever done that to me before; I think I'm in love.
@ highplains
That's nothin'...
Mine ran up a whole bunch of credit card debt
They fart under the covers and hold my head under
And they intentionally shed on my buttered toast.
Ah... The often overlooked "Crazy Cat Man".
I always considered myself a Dog Person. It turns out that I'm a Lazy Dog Person. When no one else is around to do the day-to-day walking, grooming and playing with the dog... well, I don't enjoy that part of being a Dog Person.
So now I'm a Cat Person. Who enjoys visiting Dog People.
Rods -
Don't wakes us when you arrives homes tonight. We are tireds from monitoring the neighbor. The battle it is long. We need your assistance in getting him to leave the neighbor to leave the areas so we may haz his home.
We need to discusses this the followings in the mornings:
*He car too heavy to moves. We trys it hurt our paws and backs. Get us the keys.
*He keeps washing away all our hot kitty magnet juices perfume. Expensive!
*He turn nose up at sacrifical peace offerings we leave at his stoops.
*He has BSDM leash ideas we no like. Kinky's fine - but he offer no safty word.
*He has unfriendly angry attitude towards our singing and watching of his activitys from the windows.
*He never has meat for sandwiches, only peanutbutters and apple jelly or marmalades. (Yuck)
*He nots keep enough beers in freedge.
Do something before someone gets hurts!
the Cat's ≈
lol! First Farmer gets me, then Hiplainsdrifter XD
You guys are outrageous!
@Librarian - What?? Nothing about Dewey: The Small-Town Library Cat Who Touched the World???
The late, lamented Dewey was an indoor cat. Much better behaved than these Memphis kitties.
Didn't really rub shoulders with the outdoor brethren and sistern.
Too busy rubbing against legs of understanding Iowa library patrons.
Ah, Dewey, rest in peace.
That is way cool! Awesome Find!
@Geek- I totally agree..And I am sure that this is going to piss off some of you, but I think that any single person ESPECIALLY a guy with a ton of cats is someone you should be keeping your eye on.
personal cats... is that like personal property or can anyone have one.... lol
sprinle a little fairy dust on them and maybe we can all get a handsome prince... Hm
hugs
@Jan: I completely understand!
@Hiplainsdrifter ... enexcelent note on the kitties' behalf.
@Librarian - So Dewey is now Ex-Libris?
@Erin, you are absolutely correct. Single men with more than two cats are highly suspect. The more cats, the more they are likely to be bat-shit crazy. And not necessarily in a good way.
(Spam protection answer: 42. Which is also the number of indoor cats necessary to cover the aroma of your indoor pot crop.)
Rod was walking around town one day when he spotted a frightened-looking cat huddling in the snow. He took her home to his wife Tansy, who had never been a cat person. He called the cat Maggie, and he went off drinking with his buddies. When he got back, Tansy said Maggie had had a few gentleman callers and she had moved the kitty outside. This didn't stop Maggie from coming inside whenever she felt like it, and a few months later, bringing her brood along with her. Before poor Tansy knew it, she was being swarmed by cats whenever she went outside. They ran into her cat and her house, spraying and yowling and causing her a lot of pain while Rod was out drinking. It was too much. She left this note and went drinking with her own friends.
*car. Not cat.
This find is hilarious.
One of my good friends had a beloved cat who passed on to kitty heaven. She asked me to get it from the vet, as she was too broken-hearted. I got the cat, in a frozen state, then brought it home and put it in the freezer. The plan was to wait until the ground thawed so we could bury it...had a few months there to wait and that damn frozen kitty took up so much room in the freezer...
Two birds? With how many stones? Because if it was just one, I'd be impressed as hell.
Technically speaking, an unspayed female cat is known as a Queen. So you have Toms and Queens. Yes, I know, it sounds like a bad night out in Soho, but there we are.
"No, no, it's just pinin' away for the fiords!"
"The only reason it was on its perch is because it was NAILED there. That is an ex-parrot! That parrot has ceased to be!"
The Cat's Protection League
Midnight. A knock at the door.
Open it? Better had.
Three heavy cats, mean and bad.
They offer protection. I ask, 'What for?'
The Boss-cat snarls, 'You know the score.
Listen man and listen good
If you wanna stay in the neighbourhood,
Pay your dues or the toms will call
And wail each night on the backyard wall.
Mangle the flowers, and as for the lawn
a smelly minefield awaits you at dawn.'
These guys meant business without a doubt
Three cans of tuna, I handed them out.
They then disappeared like bats into hell
Those bad, bad cats from the CPL.
Roger McGough
BRIEF SUMMARY OF FIND, FROM WHAT WE KNOW:
Somewhere in Midtown Memphis is this crazy cat man, Rod Avery, who just can't help himself. He loves kittens. So he spends a good chunk of his SS check on Little Friskies to lure in all the neighborhood strays. He does this so there will always be adorable little kittens playing on his porch. He takes the cutest pictures of these little kitties and makes refrigerator magnets & greeting cards of them, which he sells down at the senior center to supplement his gov check.
But now this hateful neighbor of his is thinking about taking him to court. She's already called Animal Control 8 times in the past 14 months, but they keep telling her they can't do jack because cats are considered "free roam" animals and are not subject to leash laws. Rod can't be held responsible because he doesn't keep any "personal cats." Animal Control, it's budget slashed in the current economic meltdown, says these are feral cats and they have the right to live free and do what cats have always done: have kittens.
The other day Rod found this vicious piece of hate mail taped to his back door. So he submitted it to FOUND, a name he trusts even more than AARP.
I mean, I'm surprised this story hasn't been picked up by CNN yet.
Rod is being asked to "revisit" this situation so it seems like this topic has already been discussed and Rod had the nerve to blow off whatever agreement was put in to place.
I wonder if he was allowed personal cats to start with.
I think, what's important here, which everyone seems to be missing, is the cats. It's all about the cats, people. What will they do without loving Rod to protect them so? Sure, this may have started with two or nine personal cats, but clearly the man has the heart of a giant. Think of all the poor little pussies tossed out on the cold streets or reality like so much expired rat poison... surely someone needs to fend for these helpless animals; these victims of circumstance and specism.
I have set up a fund, on behalf of Rod and his umpteen cat-friends, to help raise awareness and provide for these furry little charges. For more information, or to donate to this worthy cause, send bank account number to rapunzzle@projectcat.org
Do cats perch? For real?
so i basically want to smack this guy
i hate people
the more people i meet, the more i like animals.
leash law? yeah i dont think so guy.
I like cats.
They taste just like chicken.
@ nonnie
I do think so. In fact, I know so. Here in Memphis, cats are to be contained on your own property, as per the city leash law. They get in people's garbage, dig up people's flower beds, breed and have kittens under other people's houses, and all kinds of other disgusting annoying things if they aren't.
Also, they tend to carry diseases if they aren't properly vaccinated and other people don't want to deal with that.
I'm not sure why you want to smack the writer of this note. It's not his obligation as a neighbor or as a human being to deal with oodles of kitties that his neighbor obviously is not caring for.
@Lolita--I first read your post as..."they taste like CHILDREN"! That would change the whole meaning of the post, kind of.....
Hiplains, your additions to the list had my laughing out loud. :)
I'm pretty sure Rod is going to make sure he is NOT home before 11 PM. Tonight or any night in the foreseeable future.
=====
last night, during a rousing round of Kamikaze Karaoke (sure. judge me.) one of the better singers pulled The Pussycat Song. Oh MY.. I have never laughed so hard in my entire life. He nailed it, too.
At one time in my life, I had 4 cats. It ended my marriage....literally.
When we met, I had just one fabulous Persian.
After we married, the neighbor children brought me the tiny little feral kitten they had found in the forest. Then the Mama Cat out at the ranch where I had my horse was killed by coyotes, so I brought home her 4 newborn babies to raise. Found homes for 2, but kept 2. After a year or so, he made me get rid of the last 2. Marriage went downhill after that. It's all good...he was an ass.
Aww c'mon, I love cats! And don't say they taste like chicken, that's cruel! More like squirrel.
So I'm guessing the note writer isn't a cat lover, huh?
Anyone who says 'revisit the situation' deserves whatever the cats can do to him (or her). And he (she) obviously is not 'willing to compromise', e.g. by being nice to the cats and/or ignoring them!
Clasic comments, fellas! Especially Hiplainsdrifter and Librarian.
And Roger McGough too, bless him.
I love cats.
I won't compromise for any kind of pet. I don't have this passion for animals. Anyway, what's the difference between a personal cat and the other type of cats?
This calls for a Presidents Of The United States Of America lyric!!
Kitty
meow meow meow meow meow meow
meow meow
meow meow
little bag a bones been out all night
little bag a bones been out all night
can you hear him scratchin' at the screen door
can you hear him scratchin' at the screen door
little bag a bones been out all night
he needs some pettin' and lovin' on his head
he needs some pettin' and lovin' on his rain soaked hide
he's circlin' around my ankle
he's circlin' around my ankle
he needs some pettin' and lovin' on his hide
hey kitty won't you come inside
kitty at my foot and i wanna touch it
kitty at my foot and i wanna touch it
kitty at my foot and i wanna touch it
kitty at my foot and i wanna touch it
kitty at my foot and i wanna touch it
kitty at my foot and i wanna touch it
kitty at my foot and i wanna touch it
kitty at my foot and i want to touch it
meow meow meow meow meow meow
meow meow
meow meow
a pussy purrin' and lookin' so satisfied
a pussy purrin' and lookin' so satisfied
lost in his little yellow round eye
lost in his yellow round eye
pussy purrin' and lookin' so satisfied
kitty rear up and scratch me through my jeans
kitty rear up and scratch me through my jeans
fuck you kitty you're gonna to spend the night
fuck you kitty you're gonna to spend the night
fuck you kitty you're gonna to spend the night outside
kitty at my foot and i wanna touch it
kitty at my foot and i wanna touch it
kitty at my foot and i wanna touch it
kitty at my foot and i wanna touch it
kitty at my foot and i wanna touch it
kitty at my foot and i wanna touch it
kitty at my foot and i wanna touch it
kitty at my foot and i want to touch it
touch it i want to touch it
i wanna touch it i wanna touch it
i wanna touch it wanna touch it
i wanna touch it
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty touch it
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty touch it
kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty kitty touch it
kitty at my foot and i want to touch it
Rod,
Your neighbor is a jerk. Unless it's your girl/boyfriend who you've moved in with along with your cats. In that case, dump them. Yesterday.
If anyone ever asks me to choose between them and my cats, I won't even have to think about it. >_<