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February 04, 2009 |
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If You Have a Secret
FOUND by Hannah
in Missoula, MT
I found this folded into an impossibly small square in the gutter in front of our local paper's office.
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Small Town ... December 04, 2008 |
Re-Entry Plan November 09, 2006 |
Office She-yit February 13, 2007 |
A Lot of Pretty Things April 24, 2005 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
The sewer & drain cleaning guys know everyone's secrets.
On the other hand, you could just not write it down. That way, you don't have to eat it.
And (added bonus), the sewer & drain folks will be none the wiser.
But...if you choke on that paper and CSI investigates your death, then they will know your secret too!
so this piece of paper was folded up really small but went uneaten? unless it came out the other end completely unfazed by digestive processes, which seems somewhat plausible. how small is impossible small? like bits of corn small?
So now we know what Bambi's mother's name was! Deer Louise!!
Whenever she had a secret that she felt she just had to write down, but feared it would fall into the wrong hands, she would spell it out carefully, tracing out each word, letter by laborious letter, with her tongue onto the roof of her mouth. Then she would drink hot coffee, three cups in a row as quickly as she could before she would speak to anyone.
Do you think «Angis/yE» had trouble writting her own name?
Plus, eating it is cheaper than putting a stamp on it and mailing it to Germantown, Maryland.
(What's the weather forecast for ChewAndSwallow today?)
Poop secret will know.
the heart with the arrow shoved through it...why do kids do that?
OK... so what does it say on the back???
Or is that a secret??
The back says the same as the front- if you have a secret, etc. I guess the girl who wrote it figured she should write the message on both sides in case someone found the paper, took the time to unfold it, saw the blank side, and didn't realize there was anything written on it.
When I recieve a note, unfold it, and find nothing written on the paper, I just assume the other side of the paper is blank and throw it away.
No, no. The paper got wet. What you see is the stain from the ink where the paper was folded, at about the top of the "piece of paper" line. I wanted to know the secret of the other side too until I peered more carefully at the image.
the back is confusing- the writing is in several different directions, making me think that it's ink "rub-off" from the original writing, transfered when the note was folded.
But maybe it's just too darn early in the morning and I'm having tactical, technical, and logistical difficulties.
That doesn't look like a little kid's writing to me. I think it was dropped by the great-grandpa of the other find, while he was at the Mardi Gras parade.
.. or yeah- it got wet. (thanks, Another Mouth)
I bet Rachel Ray eats her secrets after sautéing in some EVOO with garlic, a little salt and pepper. That bitch loves her EVOO.
I like to eat my secrets with chocolate sauce and whipped cream, in a closet with my skeletons.
@ Julie ... I don't think that's a signature at the bottom. I think it's an attempt at spelling "angina" that is related to having the heart pierced in two places by a steel-tipped arrow.
Secrets have lots of fiber. Swallow your thoughts.
Librarian: Forcast is the same: Cloudy with a chance of meatballs (I know..predictable, but I love it!!)
This would make a fascinating case history for an episode of "House." Prepubescent girl named Deer Louise presents with fever, intense abdominal pain and fecal vomiting. An MRI reveals a large mass in her intestines. During surgery, the team discovers several dozen tightly folded notes in the midst of a reeking gob of partially-digested paper pulp. Cameron tries in vain to decipher the little notes, by now hopelessly smudged with stomach acid & other digestive "stuff." House ends up having to torture & terrorize the poor child to reveal what was on the notes --- it seems she has a lot of secrets, which her BFF Angie ignorantly advised her to write down on little pieces of paper and eat.
Keep her in the headlights from now on in order to keep her from swallowing any more of that dang paper.
....General Found comment
I always wonder about the moment the FOUND item is discarded. There are things found in books and drawers and attics... but a bunch of these ended up as plain old litter. ...doe di doe ...I'm writing my baby journal ... this is stupid tosses note. Dupe de doo... I pass out in front of bar and lose my life sucks note... I have a shopping list and throw it on my car floor and it falls out - or blows out a car window... I leave a note on someone's piece of shit car windsheild and they chuck it on the ground...
Again... kids do not think these things through. If, in fact, Deerest Louise eats the tiny folder up secret she may, in fact, forget that she has secret at all, and will have no reminder of the responsiblity of tending to the secret and guarding it from the rest of the world that is not in on the secret.
Taking a page from Papillon - I would suggest think the «Angis/yE» would instead suggest that Dear Deer Louise take the little folded up secret and place it in her rectal vault so it can be recovered and reviewed when and as needed.
Why not simply write the secret on a piece of paper and then burn it? Or better yet, twist it with some medicinal herb and smoke it. There are just so many better ways to deal with a secret than eating it or cramming it in your rectal vault to look at later--- eeeeeeee-uuuuuuuuuuu!
You can only fold a piece of paper so small. Seven times is the maximum number of times a piece of paper can be folded (in half), no matter how large or small the paper. Try it.
Or you could write it on a post card, and send it to Frank over at PostSecret. Then maybe your secret can help someone else.
Han, this was a great find, and I am proud to have been there when it was discovered. WIN!
whooo! a Find from Missoula!! (man, I MISS you, Missoula! Thanks for sharing your Find, Hannah.
@ just me... I thought it was 8 times? I suppose some numbers eventually get mixed up in my vault of useless knowledge.
In other news, I love this find.
@ lying, the heart with the arrow has been shot by cupid - I guess that's why love hurts =)
A bit of general advice - always be nice to people who know your secrets!!!
buddhist tie prayers to the trees but eating your secrets that just not good for your health. spiritually and physcially
Simply. Fucking. Adorable. Nice work.
and if you swallow too many secrets, your bowels will become blocked... and either you will have the most ultimate secret of all... or the surgeon will know everything you've been hiding.