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April 01, 2009 |
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God Bless!
FOUND by Carly
in Sacramento, CA
I work in a record store. Today the guy who lives in a van behind the doughnut store next door to us handed this note to the store manager. We have a history with him: he hates us, particularly our customers. There is much debate amongst the staff as to whether this is a “death threat” or just a note to let us know that he will refer his son to our store to pick up some music upon his first murder.
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Kentucky Girls September 05, 2008 |
Do You Smell Like ... March 07, 2008 |
Don't Worry June 28, 2006 |
Desperately Seeking ... August 04, 2007 |
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We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
Ohhhhhhhh!
They sold the book about Brazil on Amazon.com!! Ha! ha! I get it now!
He's just teaching his boy the importance of networking.
BUTTTTTTT, if he grows up to be an avid golfer,
I'll send his twin sister your way first.
God Bless!
:)
He'd be sent your way second, surely?
Duuuuude! Donut Van Man, you are not very bright. Not only does this little note constitute evidence of your aiding and abetting a future murder (what was the name of that Tom Cruise movie?), they now have your prints!
I suppose living in jail the rest of your life might be a leetle more comfortable than that van you're in now tho...three squares a day and central heating...
ike any father, I worried about what would become of him. Ultimately, though, he found a fairly lucrative career path. Every now and then I send him the name of a potential cust
I know this kind of note. You probably sold the kid some "contraversal" music like Marilyn Manson, Eminem or The Scorpions, and the father thinks that automaically that means there be another Columbine. What people tend to forget is music doesn't kill people, bad parenting does...
Spelling -- A
Grammar -- A
Punctuation -- B (missing comma)
Illustration -- C
How does this qualify as a 'find'?
He always liked Spike Jones. Your collection is far better that Virgin.
Just wanted to say to farmer...looooook your shoe is untied...
Oh wait a minute.
Never mind.
April Fools (hehe)
Is the donut shop down by the river?
I'd strongly suggest that record store staff and doughnut makers combine forces and strike first to eliminate the father and son threat.
@Mom Interrupted ... I had to grab a CD once from my son who put it on my turntable(I still use)to see if it would play them....
Maybe someone else gave this note to the guy in the van and now he is giving it to (or showing it to)the record store?? Surely, he doesn't have his small child living in the van with him.
I have tried to explain records to my 5 year old, who has been raised on nothing but cds and dvds. All I got was a blank look. Maybe I'll explain it to him when he's old enough to live in a van with me behind a donut store.
Also, check out the Found blog in the upper right hand corner. Seth Rogen made a post! (I think) How cool is that?
The cheerful handwriting looks like it should say:
Dear Sir,
If my son wants a donut again tomorrow, we'll be sure to come your way.
God bless!
:o)
Mom Interrupted: Love the Farley throwback; that was hilarious.
Oh how I miss the crazies of Sac town.
why is it that there is a doughnut shop by every record store there?
Oh how I miss the crazies of Sac town.
why is it that there is a doughnut shop by every record store there?
His son was considering becoming a murderer, and he knew the manager of the store was an avid murderer, so he promised to send his son that way for instruction.
Somebody's been watching too much Dexter..
I've heard these record employees haven't been using their papers for writing notes, but for rolling doobies.
Well, they'll have plenty of time for doobie-rollin' when they're living in a van down by the river...
I like the God Bless at the end - My son is evil and wants to kill you, but blessings to you from the Lord...
I agree with erp. this is more of a give than a find. the craziness sought you out, instead of you finding it randomly.
not that a guy who's typing is this lazy can go around enforcing made up rules.
this is a good example of eccentric behavior morphing into "dangerous" style crazy.
Mmm. Gotta love that passive-aggressive attitude.
Does the son live in the van too? Wouldn't it be cool if it were one of those imaginary children?
OK, I was a little bit wrong. Just a little, though.
Holy Toledo... Tom Robbins is one of the contributors to Requiem for a Paper Bag!!! Can't WAIT to get that book!
Can't wait for the Found Tour, AND the Tom Robbins book tour for B is for Beer. FUN TIMES GUARANTEED.
My first impression was that this was a retort left by a mother whose son reported being called a "future serial killer" by a crotchety old neighbor.
Maybe van man found the note on his dashboard after yelling at record store patrons and their children?
@Chrome-
I can't wait for the Found tour, either! It looks like they are heading through my neck of the woods in May. I will be there with bells on, if I can talk my husband into it (or even if I can't).
My opinion only, but if you have to "talk him into it" you'll have more fun without him... but DON'T *not* go because hubby doesn't want to.