• Librarian in the Woodwork

    Dear female acquaintance,

    I am aware that it was due to your intervention with the authorities that my automobile was towed away from this parking lot. I feel moved to threaten you with physical harm as retribution for what I believe was an unwarranted intrusion on my personal property.

    Sincerely yours,

    … yeah, on second thought, the original has more immediacy to it.